By. Lauren

You said you where like me.
That you knew my pain.
Why was I naive?
What did you know?
My body is a fortress with crumbling walls
Held up by a foundation that was never strong enough to prevent the settling.
Do you still think you know my pain?
Has your understanding grown?
A weary traveler unable to rest.
Are you really all that much like me?
Do you understand my pain now?

By. Lauren

I know I'm just a teen but I have my needs.
I have my dreams.
The life in a city.
The fun of a day.
Living the life I have always dreamed.
A day with you.
A need of mine.
Without you my life is only the dream of a teen.
What more can I be?

By. Lauren

They said what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me.
Did they know it would drive me insane?
The words I didn't know making me think.
What they made me say.
I said what you didn't know wouldn't hurt you.
Why couldn't I see?
These things will always drive one insane.
These things will always hurt someone.
They will always make one think.
It's time for a break.
Time to make a change.

By. Lauren

Time.
You asked me to waste my time.
Take a second or two.
Can't you see I've got things to do and places to be?
Time.
Time is gone.
I can not waste it on you.
I'm sorry but I have no time.
Today you have wasted enough of my time.
So tomorrow I would just like to remind you I've got things to do and places to be.
That does not mean I have time for you.
Goodbye.

By. Lauren

I was never much of a love poet until the day I met you.
Love poems always made me cringe until I met you.
Their rhymes always tasted like poison until I met you.
Until I met you a poem about love sounded like a story of prison.
A cell one could not escape.
Until I met you a love poem sounded like starving children.
A needy guest thriving off its host.
Just now that I've met you a poem without love is a poem lacking feelings.
Without you my poetry is bland.
An empty house only the poorest of visitors feel welcomed in.
My poetry without you feels useless.
It's as if it's not worth reading.

By. Lauren

5th Avenue.
Where I first met you.
Where your eyes met mine.
Where our lips first locked.
5th Avenue where I knew I loved you.

By. Lauren

Is this really real?
Are you really here right now?
I heard the knock of a door.
Just my mind deceives me.
Are you really in my bed right now?
Or do I just want you.
Do you actually know my name right now?
Or am I dreaming?
I'm afraid I'm dreaming.
Pinch me if this is real.
Am I even writing this or are my thoughts just racing?
Am I just playing a game
Or are you here in my room?
In my bed next to me.
My heart is racing.
Is yours too?

By. Lauren

There once was a time I could look into your eyes and actually see life.
Now it's just a fantasy.
No glimmer of hope not even of chance.
All I can see is death.
You are not gone from this world yet.
Where has your fun gone?
Once upon a time you enjoyed time.
Now all you see is black and white.
The minute hand never seems to move to you.
You do not hear the ticking.
Everything is frozen to you.
You do not see the play button.
Can I help you?
Just this once.

By. Lauren

I don't know what to say to you.
You took my friend,
But where will it end?
It seems like every time it comes to a close
You take her again.
Do you enjoy this game?
A spiraling loop of she's mine.
Will you just let her win?
I don't know what to say to you.
Just know this game will end.

By. Lauren

You asked me how the weather was but how was I supposed to answer?
Did you want the weather outside
Or
The weather in my mind?
Either way there was a storm brewing.
The water about to fall.
So I guess I'll say
The weather is muy mal.

By. Lauren

For the longest time I feared death itself.
I wasn't afraid all those times to take my life.
Yet today I think in fear.
I do not know in which I believe.
A heaven or hell.
An eternity with him.
All that I come back to is fear.
The world is my happy place.
A *** brimming with just the right amount perfection yet the proportional pinch of imperfection to top it all off.
I guess what I'm saying is I'm afraid to believe in heavens perfection.
It's just the preacher always said hell was no party either.
Only a scorching arena of loneliness.
Do I believe in either?
My religion was forced upon me to the point I snapped.
I do not know in which I believe.
Maybe the world just simply ends.
No heaven or hell.
Only a simple lights out.
When it all ends will we just be floating?
Souls in the obis of outer space drifting along never to see one another again.
Still alive but not truly there.
Not truly human.
Just weary travelers who will never lock eyes again.
Is this how it all ends?

By. Lauren

From the age of ten I learned to swallow a pill.
A pill to numb the pain.
A pill to make a change.
I listened to the instructions the doctors gave me.
It's only,
day by day I felt more pain.
No more change.
Only an increase in range.
An increase in pain.

By. Lauren

I feel lost.
No end in sight only a loop.
A marry go round of thoughts.
When will it ever stop?

By. Lauren

It's crazy how much can change in a year.
The difference between healthy and unhealthy.
The difference between standing and sitting.
It's crazy how much you will want to fix due to the changes of only one year.
A whole rhythmic difference in the heart and a deeper breath from the lungs.
All in the course of a year your blood pressure can change.
And your world may spin.
Only 365 days to change a whole person.
And then it starts again.

By. Lauren

I try to pursue my dreams but every time I'm faced with the harsh reality.
Ideas never come to me.
It always must be on their own terms.
Today I realized
I am lost in the obis of my own poetry.
No escape of finishing a poem:
All I know how to do is repeat a line.
Will this ever be done?
Poetry is a dream of mine.
If only it was not a weary traveler carrying only one bag at a time.
Poetry how may I help you today?

By. Lauren

The last gulp of air.
The last chance at life.
The kids of opportunity.
The lack of oxygen to the heart.
The last heart palpitation.
The only chance left.
No more opportunities to be found in the lonesome grave of death

By. Lauren

Drip.
Drop.
Drip.
Drop.
This poem sounds like the rest of them.
Drip.
Drop.
Drip.
Drop.
Am I repeating myself over and over again?
Drip.
Drop.
Drip.
Drop.
I feel like a leaky faucet of ideas.
Drip.
Drop.
Drip.
Drop.
Is there any creativity left in me?
Drip.
Drop.
Drip.
Drop.
My ideas don't flow out like they use to.
Drip.
Drop.
Drip.
Drop.
I think I'm done with poetry.

By. Lauren

Bones shatter under the pressure to be perfect.
No flaws in the marrow or bumps on the side.
Only the longing for perfection that will never be satisfied.

By. Lauren

Your wings wrapped around me.
Like a trapped fish I squirmed and gulped for air.
Your wingspan was larger than my chance of survival.
You suffocated me to no end.
I was trapped in your toxicity.
Like a viper you bit.
Thangs unwillingly of release.
No chance of escape was to be found in my desert of hopelessness.
Only a dripping of blood from which I shed.
The sorrow of my later life soon reached.
You had left me helpless.
Only a hopeless soul in the abandoned desert of life from which I am searching for an exit.

By. Lauren

The release of a scream was the most awaited part of my day.
An opportunity to release my pain.
No more feelings.
No more emotions.
Just an opportunity to feel normal.
The long awaited break.
The release of built up stress.
A simple scream that would change it all.
Just a scream that made my day normal once more.

By. Lauren

On that day it's like the bell didn't ring.
No buzz in the hall
Or message to convey.
Only the whisper of voices and echo of tears.
The dreaded news refusing to spread.
The blink of an eye was too much to handle.
The drop of a tear immediately followed.
She was gone.
What could be done?
No bell would change the fact only a ring of emotion would be released.
No buzz of white noise would bring back her laughter.
All that was left was a cathedral of empty lungs.
No air left to breathe.
No more tears to shed or news to spread.
She was gone.
That fact was all that followed.

By. Lauren

Swish.
Swash.
Swish
Swash.
Faster,
Swishidy.
Swashidy.
My mind is a washing machine gone rouge.
A high speed chase for sanity.
I've lost my own key to that of which I once owned.
A homeowner locked out for the 10th time in a day.
For now I will keep searching until the
Swishidy,
Swadiding,
Becomes a calm
Swish,
Swash,
Swish,
Swash,
Once more.

By. Lauren

They told me make it count,
But how do you do so?
When there's nothing left to count.
No sheep in the field waiting to escape.
Only a barrel of stress no one can erase.
The cry of a student.
Only work to do.
I just need a rescue.
A break from this mess.
A way to unwind.
More sheep to count in my head.
An escape from this stress.
No poems that I need to write.
Just a day in a life where it actually all counts.
A message from god saying it will all be
Okay.

By. Lauren

Relapse.
Another.
Another.
And yet another.
The place I'm at.
The place where my world spins.
The place where I can't look at food.
The place where I've lost 20 pounds.
The place where my blood is drawn.
The place where the world can see I am sick.
I am living in relapse
After relapse.
It just seems like an endless pit of sick.

By. Lauren

I feel like a visitor to my own life.
A intruder looking through a foggy window.
Each step is a step farther than who I use to be.
All I know is the past.
I know not of the future for I am a guest in my own body.

By. April Crew (a former friend of my mother)

When I say I love you, know
that it is true.
I love you from deep within,
I hope you love me too!

I hope neither of us will
ever go
But I pray our love will
Always grow.

You're the best thing that
Ever happened to me
You're the one I love,
You always will be.

I remember the good times
That happened in the past
I hope we can make them
Last

I will always be here for you
So please don't ever find
Someone new,

If you ever leave me
I would probably die
Please don't ever say good-
Bye

But now I am glad to
Have you as my friend,
I promise I'll love you
Right to the very end!!!

By. Lauren

You make my heart melt.

By. Lauren

You use to whisper in my ear.
Where has your voice gone?
Last time I checked a whisper still had sound.
But you have faded away.
You use to whisper in my ear.
Now my ear is searching for your voice to reply.

By. Lauren

Darkness has engulfed the world.
Burning everything I called precious.
Making you cry.
Will it ever end?
The obis is killing me.
I miss the world we use to have.
The one not engulfed in darkness.
But instead shining with light.

By. Lauren

Are you okay?
I know we where never close,
But are you okay?
I see the marks on your arms.
I'm afraid you're not okay.
Will you let me get to know you?
Will you let me get close to you?
Will you be okay?
Please say yes.

By. Lauren

What's that?

By. Lauren

The feeling of pain.
The spinning of a room.
The collapsing of all that was once calm.
Pain engulfs the receiver
Causing a scream.
The transportation of doom through the once peaceful spinal cord.
Pain comes in many forms.
The tolerable,
The torture,
The needed,
And the long doomed killing.
Without pain some would not feel real.
With pain there's just want to be
Dead.

By. Lauren

I'm feeling kinda sad.
It's been years since I was in this place.
Yet today, you felt the need to entangle me in bed sheets
and clothes too big to be my own.

By. Lauren

3AM poetry has soft lips I do not get to kiss often, so when I do I want to kiss back.

By. Lauren

It's 3AM where are you?
It's 3AM I called you.
It's 3AM I still love you.
It's 3AM and I just got the call.
It's 3AM why'd you do this?
It's 3AM and you're still dead.
It's 3AM and I miss you.
It's 3 years later and I still cry at 3AM.

By. Lauren

Can I have a minute or two?
Just a simple waste of time.
A sip from the drink we call life.

Can I waste a minute or two to get closer to you?
A minute closer to the edge of death.

Can I waste a little more time?
Just to know your lines.

Are you ashamed of my waste of time?

Last of all,
Can I have more time?
I need to write more rhymes.

By. Lauren

Silence,
Silence,
Silence,
Shushing.
Why is it we sigh in relief?
A leap for joy when no words are to be said.
The fading of a pounding sensation in the head.
The souls who most long for it seem to never find it.
Silence,
Silence,
Silence,
I must shush now before my words become poison to someone else's mind.

By. Lauren

I know not of what I used to be.
All I know is poetry.
Would you like a key?
My poetry knows not of an invitation.
Walking in at 3AM.
No need to turn a key.
He's only there when he wants to be.
I can not invite him to stay.
Instead I must tell him to leave.
I enjoy his company.
Until I must clean him up after years of imperfection.
He wants me to write him, but I do not know how to say I must go to sleep.
He assumes my arms will always be open to see him at 3AM.
I am sad to disappoint him.
It's just he needs to leave.
How do I revoke his key?

By. Lauren

They say if you repeat a word it eventually losses it's meaning.
Is this the case for human life?
A repetition of birth and death.
The repetition of 7,655,957,369 people.
Have we lost our meaning?
Death has became an every day affair along with birth.
Why do we grieve if we have already lost our meaning.

By. Lauren

Number 1: "What has made your mind so naive to tell me the reason I passed out was due to the stress of taking a bath?"
Number 2: "You're the one in need of a therapist for the senseless concept in your mind I need emotional support to wash my face in the morning"
Number 3: "You told me to lie on the floor when I am about to faint except when I did so what gave you the idea to yell at me in your narrow mind"
Number 4: "If you eliminated one possible health condition at the beginning of the appointment why is it in the end I am always stuck with my feet out the door with that label?"
Number 5: "Are you sure you even completed medical school because it sure seems like I can self diagnose better than you can even take my pulse."

By. Lauren

I feel like the fattest skeleton to ever break

By. Lauren

Love is a difficult message to convey.
As the flowers from your heart start to bloom you start to decay.

By. Lauren

My imperfections glisten in your eyes.
I am a slate of marble.
Curved and imperfect.
Except I am still beautiful in the teenage day dream you call life.

By. Lauren

You lied to me once,
You apologized.
You lied to me twice,
I wanted to cry.
You lied to me thrice,
I wanted to die.

By. Lauren

I thought I could trust you,
But it was a ******* lie.
I thought you where my friend,
But I was wrong.
I thought I could tell you anything,
But now you've made me want to die.
My tongue is tied.
You spoke the word I wanted to hear I thought your lips where sealed.
If only I knew you would stab me today.
Our friendship must have been a joke to you if only it was a joke to me.

By. Lauren

Questioning your sexuality is like stabbing yourself in the back multiple times a day.

By. Lauren

Shame them for being virgins.
Shame them for not being virgins.
I miss your childhood innocence.
Rumors never seemed to leap from your lips those days.
Now rumors spread like wildfire.
Melting faster than a ice cube on a summer day.
Why dose it matter to you?
Must one scream their ****** status at the early age of 15?
You will shame me either way.
Why must I share the news?
If you really care yes I am a ******.
It's just I will be shamed either way.
You will always
Shame them for being virgins.
And even
Shame them for not being virgins.
Your childhood innocence will never retreat back to your lips
so I guess none of us are truly virgins after all.

By. Lauren

I have this problem.
When I have to hold the hand of someone who does not accept me they feel dead.
It's as if there is no blood going to their head.
I don't know if it is because I am nervous or if it's because they know who I am.
Their hands feel numb.
Lifeless,
If you're not gay,
I can tell by your hands.
I don't know why I have this problem
I just know it's always true.
When I hold your hand
I can tell you are gay
without a doubt.
You have life to you.
Blood in your veins.
A shimmer in your eyes.
And a smile on your face.

By. Lauren

You fell in love with me so you kissed me.
You liked my smile so you dated me.
You enjoyed my voice so you talked to me.
You cherished my attention so you hung out with me.
You loved sleeping next to me so you stayed at my house.
You stopped loving me so I stopped breathing.
You hated me so you slapped me.
You broke up with me so I cried.
Now you come back to me and I just look at you.

By. Lauren

Poetry I miss you
Except
I no longer have the skills to write you.