A slip of the foot morphed into
an excruciating plummet into a void.
Before YOU know it, everyone else does
and you're bandaged up and tucked in bed

You've snowballed. It was out of your hands.
The word "Inpatient" echoes in your head
and you can't help but wonder:
"What did my parents say?"

There you are, still disoriented.
You're prospected expectations have
naturally become an escalated reality.

Now you're flooded with more
Diag-Nonsese and counterproductive
There-****-me spouts and handouts.

I didn't go down the road this time,
so how did I get here? Oh yes,
the ultimate phrase indeed "It's going to
get better, you just have to be patient."

What do i look forward to in life? Well,

I yearn for the day when I look at a knife in the kitchen and don't see it cutting through my skin.
The day painkillers and sleeping pills are just necessary medication and not overdose material.
The day I look at the protruding veins visible from my translucent skin and don't see them gushing blood.
The day I stop thinking about throwing myself over the cliff during most car rides.
The day that someone can say suicide and I don't associate myself with the term.
The day that I'm not walking on eggshells to ensure my parents' satisfaction.
The day I don't lay in bed thinking about how life would be after me.
The day I'm not gasping for breath because I just can’t study.
The day I don't sleep with my heart fluttering and wake up with it fluttering still.
The day the trembling stops and the headaches go away.
The day I don't starve to punish myself or eat because I'm sad.
The day I'm free from my own mind.

I'm haunted everyday and every night.

Im besieged by guns that glare.
which one will it be today?
Which trigger will pull next?