i found your spirit
laying at my feet
upon the ground
it was a tattered sheet
transparent threads
shreds of a spider web
i gathered in my arms
careful as glass
a sad mess
your sorry soul
i found it
i loved it
and i knew it was mine

You don't seem to think with Reason;
root Chakra so loud and gratifying.

So very much louder,
and as if that makes it right,
and as if it makes up for
all that lack of self control:

You don't seem to think with Reason,
your root Chakra is your puppeteer.

Playing with Fire,
One gets ******* burnt.
What did you expect? Then again,
you don't seem to think with Reason.

Unbalanced Root Chakra;
so very loud and gratifying,
leaves you cracked and empty;
hollow. Wallowing. I know
this is hard to swallow,
but, do you follow?

You bring it on yourself!
You called it down, summoned it!

You played with Root Chakra Fire
and we're all still getting burnt.
You might have saved yourself,
but I am still enduring it;

Each time I think of Love,
Pain instead comes to Mind
because that is how those I have Loved have treated me.

"You're such a good person", they've said.
Hah! That's either ******* or just insincere,
'cause they've sure as **** shown me
what it is they thought I deserved:

Reap the words of one you've broken down.
Behold the Wrath you've ******* sewn about!
Dark Actions propagate dark Feelings;
Face the repercussions of your Actions:

This is a Reflection of you!
This is a Reflection of what you have done!
This is no appeal to Guilt;
for what good would that do?
--
I guess we must think differently, and that's fine.
I guess I am just so offended
'cause I hold *** with reverence;
To me, *** ******* means something,
and I thought of *** as an extension and expression of our Love and
not just another ******* Addiction.

Turns out it was just another ******* Addiction
and you got your ******* fix,
but where's mine?

You've become just another ******* Addiction
that I am now forced to quit
cold-turkey.

Just another addiction.
(I was) Just another addiction.
(You are) Just another addiction.
Just another ******* Addiction after all.

~ Losing Innocence ~
Why do we risk it all for love?
No matter how exquisite,
Passionate, wonderful it is,
We lose;
Always.
Whether we part for differences or in death,
We lose;
Always.
No matter how much we try to hold on,
Change ourselves or our other,
Govern and protect the relationship,
We lose;
Always.

Thus, why do we do it?
We do it for the moments that will reside with us,
Always.
For the craze and lust.
The fury,
The fervor,
The obsession, infatuation, excitement.
For the zeal, enthusiasm, passion.
We do it for us;
To penetrate over into,
Our partner.

Me and You,
We wanted it all.
None of the pain,
Just the good stuff.
Well, we had it.
The good, the lovely.
What a surprise!
But then,
As Always,
We lost.

We lost ourselves,
Our way.
The rhythm and balance
We perfected.
How did we not see it coming?
Stumbling on to a new realm.
One in which we operate alone.
The composition wrecked.
We smashed into that brick wall.
Afraid to leave,
Co-dependent.
I knew you wanted out.
Maybe a break?
You opposed it.
We could not come back from it.
I could feel the coming loss.
But not in the way I expected.

A trip!
To get us back.
The excitement could mend us.
It did for 72 hours.
Then the ultimate force of depature
Came upon.
In a small elegant English hotel,
You died in my arms
On a Saturday morning in London.
Thirty five hundred miles away from home.

The initial shock blasted my mind and body.
The detonation of torment pierced my soul.
Unadulterated suffering terrorised.
I lost my equilibrium and steadiness.
Embarking in an unknown world,
Where the dwellers seethe with agony.
A spot was saved for me there,
Where fumes suffocate.
A Hell on Earth
Where Innocence is Lost.

Twas the
Ending of another day
Was it worth the time I spent
the pain the guilt .....
the long regret
was it worth the time I spent....

I prayed for love
I wished it gone
I hummed a tune
But hate the song

I feel the sun
But hate the light
Calling friends
Starting fights

outside alone
alone outside
only joy is
under cry

I dream upon
A rainy day
And curse it
As it goes away