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4.9k · Jul 2018
Strong
Pitch Hiker Jul 2018
The rain felt beautiful.
The grass stuck to my body itched
But I secretly miss that feeling
On any sunny day
I feel meaning in the way the field slants
Its always done that
The white paint has faded away
I love it when it stains my fingertips
Every shot leaves a tail of water
And the rippling sound of the ball sliding down the net
The way that the rain falls on me
Feels beautiful
Literally washing away my worries
As I never feel truly tired
As if every drop was distracting me
From my physical state
This makes me feel strong
659 · Jul 2017
Simplicity
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
Simplicity
Sounds so easy
Every sun set falls through me
As if I'm the night
I can't be touched
Simplicity
So out of the ordinary
Something most people aren't used to
Simplicity
Acting like a puzzle
Suddenly becoming complex
Simplicity
Sounds so easy
When the rest of the world agrees
Simplicity so simple
Until it meets
Complexity
627 · Jan 2019
Distance
Pitch Hiker Jan 2019
When do you realize
You are all alone
When you have to keep your distance
From your friends
When you have to smile even though
You want to throw a fit and yell
And scream
When you put distance between
Everyone else and yourself
To protect everything you are
Everything I am
I now realize
That I am alone
574 · Aug 2017
Putty Made From Heart
Pitch Hiker Aug 2017
I am no longer the fixer of problems
Just as I used to be
Im no longer searching for lost souls to bring
Into the found
No longer am I looking for broken
People to love back to whole hearts
I don't have enough of my heart left for that
Like masking tape
I used my heart as a bandage for other broken
Hearts that needed the repair more than I
Because I can handle living a broken life
But no longer can I hold peoples hearts together
With the glue I have made
From mashing my heart to putty
I don't have enough of me to keep freely giving away
To the wrong people
Ive made my cuts
And built my limits
I thought my supply was endless
Turns out Ive been running on empty
463 · Dec 2017
Trust
Pitch Hiker Dec 2017
I am learning to trust
Myself
I now see the things I’m capable of
It makes me feel in control
I take bigger risk when I know there’s
A greater gain
And it doesn’t matter if anyone agrees
I let my heart take the lead now
I get further that way
I’m exploring new things
Taking on leadership
And assuming it
I’m breathing confidence and grasping
Attention from those willing to donate
Their eyes and ears their heart and mind
Hopefully I can take the time and bloom it
Take all arrogance and boom it
Just listen to my voice I will  be loud
Just look to my eyes I will
Maintain eye contact and focus
This is important to me
438 · Sep 2018
Messes
Pitch Hiker Sep 2018
I was an artist when I was four
I created masterpieces with ease and intent
From applying a slime greenish yellow paint
To my fathers jacket by hand
To painting my face with macaroni
With the use of a spoon
I was an artist who loved messes
Our house was always part loving
Part disaster zone
Hurricane Walker constantly turns over everything
Books end up in your underwear drawer
Marbles cover the floor and hide in dark corners
Important papers make it to the trash
While papers with a lack of importance
Wreak havoc  upon table tops and counters.
My bed room was lost to the clothes I can't
Stand to fold and put away neatly
I myself lost in the mess of writing on my walls
433 · Dec 2020
My Vicious Love
Pitch Hiker Dec 2020
My vicious love acts out of fear
My vicious love acts out of pain
My vicious love seeks to be loved back
My vicious love is scared of the unknown
My vicious love is hurt and does what it can to protect me from more hurt
My vicious love causes me to become too involved too fast
My vicious love calls on my past to remind me why I love this way
My vicious love causes me to be lonely when I’m with the person I love
My vicious love causes me to cry over things that really don’t matter
My vicious love makes me worried all of the time
My vicious love makes me too prideful and act out of my lack of self confidence
My vicious love will ruin you too
So run before my vicious love loves you
423 · Dec 2017
Fault
Pitch Hiker Dec 2017
Its not her fault
That she can't speak
When she's so nervous
Her knees just shake
Its not her fault she likes the rain
Its not her fault she likes to run away
Its not her fault that she holds her head high
Or that her head begs her to fly
Its not her fault she doesn't like to party
And not her fault that she likes to talk
Its not her fault she want to help
Or that the right words don't leave her mouth
Its not her fault she sees no future
Or that she doesn't make enough time for friends
Its not her fault she sees everyone
As universes
Or that she struggles trying to map them
Its not her fault
That she believes
Everything is her fault
408 · Jul 2017
Defender Boy
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
I noticed you first
When I stepped on the court
You broke your toe but
Thought you could try
That was the first time I met you
You with the kind eyes
Never looked long or close enough
To feel the color
I forgot to learn your name
I hoped you'd be at the practice in two days
I didn't play to see boys
I played to get better, stronger, smarter
I didn't see you for awhile
Stopped thinking about your gripping
Smile
Till outdoor practice started and you came
More often
You were a defender
Who stood up and played keeper
Defender boy
You would be a keeper
If I had the nerve and you the interest
You called me by my name
Respect made the game
On the field it was ok when I heard you yell
Half time in Mass
You told me fire
An inspiration I didn't play out
But confidence is what you gave me
That was everything
You got used to me
So did some of the other boys
You talking to me
Made practice so much easier
Thank you
Hope to see you next year
Defender boy
401 · Aug 2018
My Best Friend Was My Demon
Pitch Hiker Aug 2018
This demon I have put to rest
Has left me feeling new
I feel like my burden has lifted
But I'm left feeling blue
This demon has been my best friend
For years and years
A friend that has pushed me and broke me
And fixed me and healed me
Brought me down from insanity
Taught me how to manage my determination
I have learned to control my sanity
And use my passion
It has helped me to grow
And helped me to teach
This friend has connected me with new friends
Its given me the opportunity to be coached
By the best coaches
I have broken our friendship
It's time to see how my heart does on its own
It's time to make a new best friend and learn
What else there is to be learned
The only person I'm changing is myself
And myself needs the change
I am no longer in love with my demon
That's been hard to admit
As time goes on we may rekindle
Our childhood feelings
But for now, I feel as the fire is choked out
And the smoke is too much for me
I will come back eventually
371 · Jul 2017
Good Days
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
Days like this are good days
No reason to be bad days
Just slow days
But in good ways
I have different feelings on good days
Not in bad ways
But just good enough for good ways
Not always
But most days
I like having a lot to do most days
I hate having nothing somedays
I miss being busy all days
I like having somewhere to be always
Since loneliness finds its ways
And likes to find weak days
348 · Jul 2017
Can You Talk Me Out Of It
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
Can You Talk Me Out Of It
I hope that at night you sit by my bed side and whisper a beautiful tomorrow in my ear
Because you know I don't want to see it's morning ever again
Without you waking with it
I hope that when I'm walking by myself
Your speaking to me that
My hearts not breaking
That I'm not really alone
I hope your holding my hand
And when I trip
And fall
I hope your laughing
With open arms like a granddaughter and her grandfather
I hope a hug heals my scrapes
And your words mend my heart
Broken by longing and lacking
I hope that when I'm singing
A song that makes me cry
That your singing with me
Carelessly and free
I hope that when I'm hiding in my room
Feeling as if my family has broke That you will be siting with me
With your arm around my shoulder
Telling me this won't last forever
And I hope that when I think of joining you up in heaven you can talk me out of it
-Pitch Hiker
300 · Oct 2017
Abandoned
Pitch Hiker Oct 2017
I feel like I'm in solitary confinement
Always alone in my head
The people around me become the walls
That contain me
I'm angry
I'm sad
So disappointed
The people I believe in
Aren't ever who I think they are
And I'm out of trust
I'm low on exceptance
And don't care if I'm broken down
In the middle of no where
Because it would only be the physical
Version of my life inside my head
But people are just people
And that just kills me
People aren't who they seem to be
My world revolves around that
Honesty, loyalty, truthfulness
All qualities everyone seems to have
Abandoned but I'm still looking
297 · Jul 2017
The New Kid
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
Not much I wish to know about this kid
I never wished to meet with preconceived ideas of adulthood
He is the taste of the free adulthood that they think they've been missing out on
He's just another relatable tortured boy
But there are yearning for freedom from restrictions is too strong for them to realize
They follow him like a leader of some cult
Because **** and alcohol a role model's not even Nelson Mandela can face
They are easier to reach than he is
It's easier to make contact with the Pfister a foot and a hand to hand handshake
And easier to be ignored rather than being one of millions saying there something ****** wrong with this place
It's ugly and I see more of it sometimes then I intend to
And I just get angry like the rest of them
But what the hell
280 · Aug 2017
Grey Eyes
Pitch Hiker Aug 2017
Today my eyes faded grey
They kept looking for a glimpse
Of dream
I had to remind them that
Dreams they have left
They will not return for a while
My eyes only got lighter
Till I had to close them
For I could see nothing
They blinded themselves
If they could not see
Some semblance of future
For me
They wanted no part in my present
So they went grey
My blue eyes
Fogged
Like the blue sky on a cloudy day
How do you know
That the sky is still blue
278 · Jan 2019
Megan
Pitch Hiker Jan 2019
I want to go back
In time
To a time
Where it didn't matter
How different we were
When you invented ways
To build forts and I climbed the tree
Back when we talked about
Country songs and barbie dolls
Back when you liked to cook
And I liked to run
When we schemed all the time
And slept over each others houses
When you didn't care about being cool
When the only person you were was yourself
When you had dreams and we called each other
Sisters
When did vaping and drugs become more fun
When did you start to believe who you were wasn't
Good enough
I always thought you were
When did you start to believe that I didn't care
Well
After years of this *******
I am handing you my letter of resignation
I will no longer be waiting with my shoulder to cry on
I will no longer be the girl you shove to the outside
I am picking my place
I no longer wish to call you my sister
And I no longer care for the **** you do
You go have *** with everyone you want
Because it makes you feel pretty
Go party and get drunk
I will never hold your hair back
And I will never lift you out of this despair
I am only now caring about me
266 · Jun 2018
Take Air In Let Air Out
Pitch Hiker Jun 2018
Exhale
Release all that you can't control
Inhale
Take in the beauty
Exhale
Everything weighing you down
It's hard to swim with rocks
In your lungs
It hard to keep your head above water
When your thoughts are so dense
You cannot be apart of the world
That you carry on your shoulders
Though you may be strong enough
To hold the Earth high
Sarah Kay explains
"Your hands will always be too small
To catch all the pain you want to heal"
So take a step back
Away from your solution
That is not where the answer lies
I can't save people I've never met
As long as you keep acting as this
Stranger I can't save you
As long as you keep on not wanting to
Be saved
I can't help you
I will not restrain you
Or lock you in chains
I will only give you a better option
Its up to you to listen and follow me
255 · Oct 2017
Orderly
Pitch Hiker Oct 2017
Order is too much for me
I prefer to live unorderly
I don't like to be predictable
But inevitably I'm predicted
Living constricted leaves you
So limited and I can't handle limits
They say I need an organized
Person to straighten me out
Some say I need to be put in my place
People call me a mess
But I think I'm a test
A test run in process just let that process
Don't assume work it out
I work so hard to understand because
Mentally I'm slow
I'll forget you if I don't
Make an effort to know
Just let it go
Let it go is what they say
But first let me look at it
In every other way
Before it slips my mind
Let me study it
Let me inspect it
Because I will forget it
If I don't interrogate it
I want to remember you
I want to understand you
I want to know you and what you
Yourself stand for
Because your disorderly
In a way like me
Just smarter
You think logically
I try to rationalize who you might be
Because no matter how I deny it
In a way I'll admit
I like you
246 · Jul 2018
Hear My Thoughts
Pitch Hiker Jul 2018
My head is so loud lately
I've been so distracted by nothingness
That I can't think about loveliness
Is it so shameful that I ask for a kiss
I don't care for the things you say I symbolize
Because everyone grows up
Like trees up is the only direction
Unless you die
Then you fall and become apart of the earth
I wanna spend my time looking at colleges
But I'm scared to keep growing
Because no matter how big I get
The world will always be too big for me
Maybe I will make a mistake
Pick something I don't really love
But find out too late
I wanna join the military
But I don't want to sacrifice something
I have never known
I want to explore the world
But how can I when I can't
Pay off soccer bills
I want to be the advocate for myself
I want to be paid for my worth
At least minimum wage
I want to be pushed past my physical
Limit everyday
That way everyday I know
That the day after I be stronger than I
Ever was
I wish I could sort this out
I wish I could hear my thoughts
244 · Jul 2017
A Girl I Wish to be
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
I don't want to be the girl
Who screams
In order to be heard
I don't want to be the girl
People avoid
For fear of her enrangement
I don't want to be the girl
Who shies away from others presence
I don't want to be the friend
Who is never there for me
I don't want to be the girl
Looked down on
Or the girl others praise
Every which ways
I don't want to be known for my participation
But my desire to be free
I wish to be the girl
Strictly determined
Friendly with a smile
So carefree
But that's just the girl
I wish to be
238 · Jul 2017
KM Up Stairs
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
He broke my ukulele string
I said oh what a silly thing
He is a silly thing
I don't love him
But I love him
We are practically the same spirit
Only we chose different covers
He left to Chicago for the summer
He's like my own brother
In my head I say how dare he
But in my eyes I said he needs it
Im not use to good company
So he means everything to me
Not like in a lovey dovey way
In a sister needs her brother kinda way
Sitting alone was more than just sitting
Alone when he was right up stairs
He understood me
And I understood him
Will he be the same?
I really hope so
236 · Feb 2019
Worst Kind Of Gone
Pitch Hiker Feb 2019
Gone with destruction,
Is the worst kind of gone.
Its a gone that never comes back,
Gone is the home I ran to when
Home wasn't home.
Gone is the place I cried my hardest,
And learned the best.
Visions of my childhood fall
With every tree you cut,
With every natural beauty you turned into profit,
My untouchable world ***** by you and your
Machines of metal
Never asking the kids in the neighborhood,
(I which you are considered an intruder to),
What the woods across the street meant to them
What they meant
Every tree and woodland sound found my company.
Providing me with wholesomeness, as I knew
When I was there, I wasn't alone.
Knowing no one could find me and hurt me
As I was being cradled by the natural curve in the branch
Of a large oak
A friend you chopped at the ankles
And gave a price tag.
As if my security and state of mine could be bought.
You stuffed fallen trees into magnificently formed
Streams that now only trickle.
As I walk into the woods
That I once knew as my wonderland
I only see an unfamiliar land,
Almost as bare and naked as I feel standing in it.
And I cry quietly.
234 · Jul 2018
Absolutely Lost
Pitch Hiker Jul 2018
I'm only 17
I feel more like 70
Ready to make my bed
For the final time
Just like every other time
I want to see so much
With no means to see it all
I want to get to the good parts of life
Right now seems so folded up
So much to worry about
Too much to get done
I always put my heart first no matter what
My heart says soccer and track
Work come second
That needs to change
I need to make money to pay for the things
That get me to where I need to be
Time makes this so hard
Summer is almost over again
I don't know how
But it is
In a week
I will be straining my body
Hoping my lungs won't fail me
There is no knowing how much they can take
Before I'm in danger of an asthma attack
I wish I were past this
I'm ready to be put to rest
I want to say I've gone through life
And made it to death
But everyone can say that in the end
I feel all sorts of crazy
All I want to do is push on
But I feel like I'm blinded
I feel alone
Because I'm alone with my thoughts
That can not translate into words so I feel
Absolutely lost.
234 · Jul 2017
Happy is
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
Happy is a feeling I get only every once in a while
Sad likes to visit often
Excitement is something I feel on the inside and only on the inside
Stress is my trainer and it rides along on my back
Regret is an unremovable knife in my back that sings of all the things I wish I could take back
228 · Dec 2017
Lost To Reality
Pitch Hiker Dec 2017
She got lost in so many dreams
That reality slowly killed her
She got so lost in her world
Reality couldn't remove her
Without breaking her heart
She was so lost in her mind
Reality was unable to find her
She was lost for so long
That she was truly gone
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
I no longer write on your seemingly blank pages simply because I was tired of going unread
I stopped writing my notes in you when
You got too busy reading others
Your cover still inflawed but your pages
They are burning
Holes are being poked and you seem less than concerning
Are used to write my own unknown feelings behind the two walls
You had bind together at the spine
And I never told a lie
But never really explained why
I was happy since I was given empty pages
But only in the beginning
Little did I know others wrote with invisible ink
And I to wear to one day be just that
Invisible
215 · Jan 2018
This Winter Storm
Pitch Hiker Jan 2018
The sky is grey
But sun still blinding
It was snowing and cold
It’s that time of year again
I Feel like it’s always winter
I miss out on spring summer
And fall
Like the fast forward button is
Put into action and I’m cold again
I thought I liked it this way
Since when did it start to scare me away
Could it have been only yesterday
I would run through the white
As if there were no such thing as
Frost bite and just live
Since when did snowmen
Become pointless
When did snowball fights
Become boring
When did playing in the snow lose it’s ring
I’ve always loved New England
But now I’m ready to leave
To follow the warmth when it gets cold
And to follow the cold when it gets warm
But the cold dark nights are always
Within me
That’s just my nature
Winter is my personality
I am always stuck within this winter storm
D
208 · Feb 2019
Brother
Pitch Hiker Feb 2019
Brother
I will call the cops
I care not to let you continue your game
They should have named you manipulation
At that you are a king
You yourself are collateral damage
I wish you would go back to prison
You are a monster with a game board
Everyone is a piece and everyone has their roles
Everyone must comply and ignore your piggish
Tendencies
But no longer, not me
I will not continue to simply offer my shoulder to the girl
You come home to
But won't call girlfriend because you'er not ready for commitment
While you only seek the freedom of ******* every girl who throws themselves
At you
You ugly beast who puts on an act like none other
Should have joined the theater
But you have never really had a pretty face
Brother
A disgrace I wish I could displace
And send away back behind bars
So you could keep your **** to yourself and stop hurting the girl
I now call friend
You are apart of no trend
And your lies
They will not end
So leave
If you are your own man
At age 28
Act like it
Pay your own bills
Get your own job
And *******
207 · Jul 2017
Where Did You Have To Be
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
I remember you
I remember when we would sneak
Out my window in the middle of the night
Just to walk
So we could talk
Laying in the hay field free of worry
Under the stars telling of our sad story
But now your  gone
I still remember you on my bedroom floor
But you never said goodbye
So why do I still think of you
The kind of person I would see in the hall
And hug before answering a call
I guess you've moved on
Changed for the "better" if you will
I wish you just told me
You had other places to be
204 · Jul 2017
Will You Find Me
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
Will your hand to find my shoulder
When I find myself alone
Will your hand find my shoulder
When I'm lost in a crowd of people
Feeling smaller than small
Will your hand find my shoulder
When I'm laughing with a group of friends
And loneliness grabs my gaze
Will your hand find my shoulder
When sadness grips my heart  
And chokes out the hope
Till it's black and it's hollow
Will your hand find my shoulder
When I cried to you
When I feel there is nothing worth fighting for
Will your hand on my shoulder
When I'm standing in the discus circle
When I'm  in doubt
About my ability to break a record
Will your hand for my shoulder
When I fall from the tree I trusted
I need someone to help me up my knees
Or someone to catch me if I can't catch me
Then to console me
I hope your  hand finds my shoulder
204 · Oct 2017
Understanding My Feelings
Pitch Hiker Oct 2017
I don't understand my feelings
That should scare you
That statement is your only warning
That I could explode at any moment
When I do I won't know whats going on
I will not be that same girl you know
I will not mean what I do
I usually say what I mean in ways I don't mean
I will be out of control in a controlled
Whirlwind
Or
I will disappear
I may not be heard from for awhile
Solitude will be my antidote
Silence my remedy
Don't take me from this time to myself
You will be corrupting data
And I will have to start from scratch
With new materials to help me
Understand my feelings
204 · Aug 2017
Verrill
Pitch Hiker Aug 2017
Hey
You look good
Your glasses make you look like some kid
Trying to be a nerd
I've never met before
It wasn't until you smiled at me
That I knew it was you
I couldn't believe it was you
I mean you write me all the time
And we can text now
But to see you
I didn't think I would
They weren't  going to let us in
We drove for 6 hours to see you
Only to be told it wasn't possible
A fence between us
I realized how important it was to see you
Only after they told me I couldn't
That's when I realized how much
I love and still need you
When I was told seeing you was not
An option
A hug never felt so good in such a sad
Place
203 · Jan 2019
Hide Away
Pitch Hiker Jan 2019
I won't feel like this tomorrow
I'll be happier
I won't feel this empty sting when I wake up in the morning
I will just feel tired
But in another week or so
Maybe in just a few days
It will be back
And I will have to hide away
Like dreams you can't remember
There is no record of my pain
except in my journals
But they to will never be found
198 · Oct 2017
Read My Thoughts
Pitch Hiker Oct 2017
Hey mom
Thanks for staying up with me last night
I know you were tired
But I don't see you often anymore
Sorry I spend so much time a dads
I just get to see my friends
More often over there
Your never home it seems to me
Neither is dad
So I have to make due
I'm sorry I can be frustrating
Stubborn to the point that you
Look disappointed
I try not to disappoint
Hey dad
I'm sorry you think I'm ungrateful
You couldn't imagine how grateful I am
You got it all wrong
Don't assume so just because I haven't
Said so
I have something planed in my
Head for you
A special thank and I love you
But you don't give me time
You jump to conclusions than lead to
Disillusions of who your daughter
Might be
You don't know me and I recommend
Not trying to understand
I'm a millennial but I don't
Follow their pattern
I just share the same characteristics
I'm sorry you think I'm selfish
I can't imagine ever being that way
I'll remember how selfish I am
Next time I'm late to class
Because someone couldn't open
Their locker and was having a bad day
Next time I help someone carry
Something heavy because they were
Struggling
Next time I help someone who fell
And dropped all of their stuff
Next time I try to talk someone of
Committing suicide
I'll remember how selfish I am
I'm sorry you don't see all these things
I go through
I'm sorry they make me selfish
But let me tell you how much
I think of you and how alone you are
All the way up here
Im even more sorry you can't read my
Thoughts
196 · Oct 2017
Broken Mixing Pot
Pitch Hiker Oct 2017
What I thought before was wrong
I am not who I thought I was
I am not the description written on my toy box
Nor am I made up of the ingredients on my label
I am not just some appetizer set on the dinner table
I am able
To discover the truth
That has been diluted by all the lies
By all the bad guys wearing superman suits
And batman capes
People with big money
And big plans
But also
With enormous ego, greed, and whats it called
Private agendas
I may be an environmentalist
But the earth needs it
Our type of green
Has spilt the red that circulated men
It has erased species from our books
But not our history
We always have to have an enemy
But while we are picking our fights with all the wrong people
And nations
We have yet to realize
The only war we really need to be involved in
Is with ourselves
And we do not have to right to fix other nations
Until we have fixed our broken mixing ***
196 · Nov 2017
I Will Remember
Pitch Hiker Nov 2017
The feel of each indented letter
And coffee bean
Vertically down the mug
Is a feel I will always remember
The darkness I would open the upstairs door to
Unless I took the downstairs door
Which was illuminated by the laundry light
Is a dark and a light I will always remember
The way I flipped on the far light switch
Instead of the one nearest to me
Instinctively
Is a way I will always remember
The sun setting walk down my street
To my house
Is a walk I will always remember
I always wanted to run
But my feet kept a walking pace
The pain from falling from a tree
I always climb
Is an pain unforgiving but in all understanding
These things have to happen
196 · Nov 2017
Airports
Pitch Hiker Nov 2017
I just can't get the feel of a place
Full of hundreds of feelings
I don't get the drift of hundreds
Of different currents
I'm not able to comprehend the
Flavor of all the different taste
What a place
All the places
People come to gather
Unintentionally
Crossing paths without the Acknowledgment
Air ports are truly a manmade wonder
196 · Nov 2017
Like Winter
Pitch Hiker Nov 2017
Im going on a walk.
Im sorry but I really don't want to talk.
If you don't let me go, Im going to miss it.
Your words don't really fit.
To much! your saying to much!
Let go! please don't touch!
Im not mad,
But I feel real bad
Just let me go on the walk.
I cant talk,
I cant know whats wrong if you don't let me look,
I will tell you whats wrong when Im done with the book.
Let me decipher my feelings
Before I cry with no reasons.
My heart is fading like the changing of the seasons,
Growing cold.
Im becoming winter.
Feel my veins harden and become the branches
Of a frozen tree...
Brittle...
Feel my hands stiffen and die.
Like the baby birds who couldn't stand the cold
Feel my eyes dim just as the ice on a pond will frost over.
And I will be frozen, lost with my lonely wilderness
195 · Jul 2017
The Cold
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
The cold  invites itself to render my hands still and sore
The cold threatens to numb my emotions
  And freeze my stare
The cold colors my lungs so they're blue
And have stopped their main function
The cold isolates my mind from reality
And I
I am in solitude
194 · Jul 2017
Your Shores
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
I keep looking at the words
On my walls
But I can't read them
Not in the sentences they are formed
I can't come to terms with my history
I keep thinking about
What they all meant at one time
My journal from the ceiling
To the floor from the window to door
Wall to wall
Why did I write this all
Names of people I hope to never forget
Lyrics from songs I felt could tell you
Who I am
Poems and things
Well they can't tell you who you are
That can't be described
Because who you are changes
Like a shore line after every high tide
Some people will like your shore
No matter what your low tide
Reveals
Some times it takes more time to
Find person who
Excepts the outcome of your storms
Because they will be able to collect the
Pretty things
Like your shells, sea glass, and rocks
And will hold on to them and show you
All the beautifull things you uncover
Just wait you will know when they come
When the do
They'll see your earth as an adventure
The X on the map that lead them to
You and alternate map they get to explore
193 · Feb 2018
Ready to Say it
Pitch Hiker Feb 2018
This is not easy for me to do
I never thought I could get this
Out of my head and on to the paper
These thoughts that are trapped
In my heart
Need to be set free
I don't know what kind of person I am
I was once told I have a beautiful aura
What does that mean?
I think Im and Extrovert
Though people call me an exceptional
Introvert
I think Im both
Sorry
Im good at getting side tracked
And delaying the release of my words
I am a girl
I am a girl playing in a boys soccer league
It scares me sometimes
Its what I love
With people who love it
Most of the time I don't feel like I belong
I feel like a stone amongst shells
Out of place
Looked over
Other times I feel important
I strive to be important to them
I could never express how sorry I am
For the nasty comments our team gets
When they see me step on the court or field
But I can show them that being what I am
Makes no difference
Other than giving me an obstacle to conquer
Every time anyone thinks
We will be their easy win
Because you have me on your team
I make you look weak
I apologize
I promise I will be strong
And prove every doubt wrong
Because despite my feelings
I know this is where I really belong
192 · Jan 2018
Her World
Pitch Hiker Jan 2018
Minecraft is her favorite game
One world is her life
She doesn’t play often
So when she does
It’s very important
Her world has everything
That she values in real life
Things she never had in real life
Things she hasn’t gotten to do
This world is all in the sky
With only one connection to the ground
That’s her one connection to reality
It means the world to her
That nothing happens to it
This world is never done
Adding she keeps on adding
As her life is added to every day
People mean the world to her
So they have their own monuments
And names written on signs
She is desperate to be apart of this world
She dreams of being apart of a goosebumps episode where she is ******
Into her virtual reality
She doesn’t mind the loneliness there
It’s less painful than in reality
She wants to get lost
And is afraid of being found
192 · Dec 2017
Its About Time
Pitch Hiker Dec 2017
Its about time
The years come to its end
Its about time I realize
My failures
Its about time I recognize
My successes
Its about time I remember
All the events this year has brought
Its about time I acknowledge
The people who shape me
And make me
Its about time
I write something....
Something meaningful
With truth and a lot of poise
Something that expresses the universe
Inside my head
All the buzzing all the
Click, click clicking's
With the long long
Beeeeeeep
Something that touches your heart
Crushes your heart holds and bears its pieces
Something that mends and heals your heart
Making it stronger than ever
A poem that make's you question your thought
One that reaches your frequency of thinking
One that never stops your wondering
Something subtle in an abrupt way
One that builds your dreams
Feeds your nightmares and ends in the perfect battle
Keeping you on your toes to see if you
Built your dreams strong enough to fight
What scares you most
This is my toast of a new year
That maybe by next year
I will write the poem
That expresses the universe of me
One that will tell you of my every
Galaxy
I just at I am made up of the people I have met
And have been influenced by
I am made up of thousands of stars and planets
189 · Jan 2018
Determined
Pitch Hiker Jan 2018
The reason I’m so determined
Is because I want to reach that
Point in life where I love myself for being
Strong and beautiful and
Persistent and relentless and
Passionate and determined
I want to be the happiest version of me and you don’t get there by never doing
I look in the mirror meanly
I angrily tell myself I’m  fat
So I would start doing push-ups
Burpees and planks and crunches
Even when I was too tired
To keep my eyes open
Waking up on the floor
To my abs and legs and arms feeling so sore and hungry
I remember runs at 1:00 in the morning
Because I was board
I remember how slow each mile passed
But how fast time went by
By 2:30 I ran/walked 15 miles
But it wasn’t me moving my legs
I just ran
Lost whatever food was in my stomach
My body shook and itched
I couldn’t calm my asthma down
And then all at once
Air rushed into my lungs
And I just laid in the grass
I wasn’t shaking any more
I didn’t itch
And all was quite
I was determined
185 · Aug 2019
Goodbye
Pitch Hiker Aug 2019
I don't feel any sadness in this goodbye
There is no weight to my worries
Tomorrow I leave for college
Yet I feel the same as I ever did
I could leave in silence
Not a word needing to be spoken
Though I will leave with I love you's
And thank you's
Because it's the right thing to do
Mom, Dad, I'm leaving you
I do not plan on returning often
It's time for me to become a new
And learn my place
185 · Nov 2017
No conclusion
Pitch Hiker Nov 2017
Shh.
Let me listen to the silence,
Give my brain some space.
I can't hear what I feel
So I don't know what my
Heart is telling me.
Let me walk through the rain,
To help wash away the debri inside of me,
So I can think.
Let each drop
Distract each thought
Till everything I have thought up
Has been washed down.
Give me no reason but one to be happy,
I don't understand the negativity
You hand out like lollipops
And inject like a heroic vaccine  
Into the arms of those infected
With joy, peace, and laughter.
Bad blood donated to make a nation of bland,
Where every one is an emotional-*******...
Shh! Do you hear that?
It's my heart,
Speaking through the silence
Saying, there has been no conclusion
To my feelings
So mind whats left of your manners
And let me finish my story.
184 · Dec 2017
School Buss
Pitch Hiker Dec 2017
We are just kids on a school bus
We fill the bus with gossip
Tears, laughter
And the joy of daily conversations
With each others company for the
Hour we are stuck together
We are just kids on a school bus
On our way to greater things
Or less than
Planning to change the world
Wondering how
Or maybe not knowing if you will
Have any sort of affect
We are just kids on the school bus
Not knowing our worth
Losing our things
And accepting good deeds
For what their worth
We are just kids on a school buss
With the wheels going round and round
183 · Jul 2017
Dancing Eyes
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
We aren't taught to see
The pain behind someone smile
Or taught to realize that their smile is fake
We are not taught to read between the lines
And read someone's tear dampened eyes
I was not taught to drive someone's dampened eyes
I was taught hate
And to be the cause of ones dampened
eyes
But I dream not of the days that I make
Someone's eyes damp
I rather dream of making them dance
183 · Jul 2017
If So
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
If my fate is to be disrupted
And myself damaged
Than be my greatness
Destined to be a different kind of
Greatness
If my fate is to be changed
And myself challenged
Than be my success
Another
If my fate is to be a memory
And me to be forgotten
Than be my impact
Unforgettable as a scar
182 · Jul 2017
Letter 103
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
I hope you're listening tonight and in case this is the first time you're hearing me I talk to you almost every night I've been trying to picture heaven I'm trying to picture it's skies and it's rivers I bet the scene is fulfilling  it leaves me restless not knowing I did well this year in soccer not so much in school but I know you see why I feel your presence when I'm on the field or in the circle or in the court when I'm sitting in my room as my world resets itself from all I have had to take and I feel your arms around me and a hug when I Feel defeated I feel you with me when I try to run out the sadness of you not being here I feel your full breath in the wind and I feel you catch me when I let go it's not easy for me to go on like the world is still round and moving in full orbit  it feels pretty flat and still from where I'm standing in a series of twists and turns it becomes a whirlwind a breathless whirlwind all my paper letters burn because I have never known what to say  and on the day you left I was 7:50 instead of getting to tell you what you were or who you were I hope your cold still hand and I told the shell of you that you are truly my best friend it's not often when you look at someone on the complete opposite end of the spectrum from you that instantly connect in those days I will never forget because you taught me beautiful simplicity Anyway no other Ever would or could I always expected you to be around I expected to see you at my graduation it was a long lasting exaggeration and a dead hope now buried so deep in the ground I can't believe it ever lived I hadn't known down that first hand until I met life and you are the one who shaped me not by lecturing me or by trying to give me all of your lessons before you left but with your  watery blue eyes  and your enlightened smile as if there were thousands of reasons you were doing so you've taught me to try to do the same but what you had was effortless it's with years of practice and work and trust and faith but now to show people happiness it's effortless  and that will last me forever I'm just glad I got to spend a little bit of my time with you even if it were the end of yours
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