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Viola Dec 2015
25 years old at midnight.
Here is what I have learned.
  All that I know is that I know

                   Nothing.

My life has been quite strange, and I want to understand all that is around me.
Viola Aug 2018
A bottomless pit
A fruitless wishing well
A black abyss
An insurmountable hell
An empty vessel
A hole for a heart
I was too much to love
From the very start
Stark darkness
For a hope of light
All that is wrong
When I wish it was right
I give up on this endless fight
Loneliness surely is my plight
At last I say good night
My dreams will take me
Far away
And I will awake to a brighter day
Viola Aug 2018
Oh hallow the heavens divine
May my intentions begin to align
To give in and live in realities design
May my fears resign to the origins from which they came
may I be redeemed from the shame
That once followed my spoken name
May I be awoke in grace
And have pride and love for the reflection of my face
May the place where indifference once inhabited be desserted and filled with all that I have taken for granted
I want to be enchanted with the presents that opportunity presence
No sense in waiting for false pretense
No resentment no pain
Just the world which is mine to gain
Viola Jul 2018
A long walk
Can soothe the mind
I bring the music
Leaving my worries behind
In my path
My footsteps lead
Away from the things
That I don't need
Viola Dec 2015
A private symphony
Sings to me, sweetly.
Resonating notes float,
Aimlessly defying gravity and physics
Lingering in the brevity of time
But for a moment all is exquisite and divine
My hope is with it,
And the future to find.
Viola Apr 2020
Treasure of the earth
Skin anointed by the sun
Eyes that gaze into existence
As if they had witnessed life
Before it had begun
A smile knowing and reassuring
Pure lips that speak beauty, pain, and truth
Sipping forever from a fountain of youth
Named from the continent
Never tamed by discontent
A testimony of God’s hand
In all that she embraces
A reverence for God’s plan in every obstacle she faces
She is a great warrior
High priestess of peace
Treasure of the earth
Leant from heaven since birth
Viola Mar 2016
The undetectable delectable soul
Contemptuously consumed
By the indelibly doomed
The spirit a commestible
Ingested in full
By the restless evil
eager for prey
Every morsel digested
In a remorseless way
gluttonous beast desires the taste
The lecherous feast goes not to waste
scrumptious for toothsome consumption
Vicious parasitic imbuing of
Delicious sacrament of ruin
Does not satisfy the appetite of wicked delight
The monster hungers for just one more bite
Viola Feb 2016
This monotony has gotten me
Im impatient with complacent
I am training my replacement
And awaiting my displacement
My relationship is fleeting
I am always left needing
The confusion of the illusion that things can stay the same is driving me insane,
Everytime I get comfortable change brings refrain,
To my disdain every effort feels futile,
It can feel quite brutal getting up again,
But I gather myself up on a hopelessly hopeful whim,
That someday I will begin something without an end.
Viola May 2016
The sun shines on the plains
The narrow crescent wains reminiscent in the sky
Vapor trails from aeroplanes create narrow lines
Criss crossing stratus clouds that fail to shroud the light
Trees dance entranced by the breeze
Plants grow upwards
Wild beasts and creatures roam
And it all became begotten from sea foam
Every interaction, every reality
A fraction of the collosal whole
And my birth
A cosmic collision of cells
Tells me that my worth
Is only equal to my appreciation
And gratitude
That swells within
What a magnificent experience I have been given
To be living in time and space
Within the grand scheme of all things possible
I have found my place
Viola Sep 2017
Under the placid cerulean sky
Through flecks of light passing through the branches dancing of trees
flickering light illuminating
The turbulence inside of me
A cool breeze passes over
My chilled demeanor as I contemplate what is to be
I should be content but
This contempt is permeating
My being
I am seeing the beauty surrounding me
But the ugliness inside
Is a rising tide
Pulling me down slowly
As my soul floats with buoyancy
And I am currently
Swept in a current
Hoping this deterrent
Will not succumb me to the shelf of the sea
As I peer through the surface of the shimmering waters
Seeing the sky so near
I am filled with hope
But held by fear
Viola Jul 2018
He lost track of time
A five year gap
lapsed
in his time line
Now here I am
losing mine
His penance
my sacrifice
His redemption
My demise
Reparations
Of desperation
No reconciliation
For hours
Days weeks
Months and years stolen
I am sullen
A broken clock
For a broken heart
I am left with the pieces
And the broken parts
Of the start to something new
A promise of better days
Where skies are blue
But all I would like
Are more than just
Pieces of you
Viola Oct 2018
Just breathe
Slow and deep
Keep breathing
Take in the air
And release
Your despair
Inhale
Exhale
Keep breathing
You'll prevail
Viola Jan 2019
She has eyes like Martian terrain.
Burnt Sienna.
Her pupils are black like the vacuum of space.
Little flecks of stars sparkle in them
but they are very much, alive burning like the sun.
Her skin is cratered like the moon, rocky and porous.
Her arms are speckled with freckled constellations.
She is a creation of the universe.
Viola Mar 2021
I was born without life
It was taken from me by the very vessel that fed me.
Science gave me another chance where fate had already written me off.
I had my body taken from me before I ever knew it was mine.
At the very same time my faith was taken from me because man had told me so.
I was born to a child, who was sold to a man twice her age for drugs.
Her hostage meant her home.
She herself ran from pain.
Never being able to perceive where her fears would take her next as she suffered so much pain.
She managed to marry a drug addict who beat her and her children everyday for 8 years straight.
I endured a mock kidnapping from the very man who would later take my body and faith.
I found myself burying the fear of clowns which arose from when I was just 6 at 17 when I rediscovered what had happened.
10 years later I would have to revisit that experience all over again when being robbed at gun point by clowns.
I am done running from any fears.
I am here to live my life and be present.
I belong to myself and no one else.
I am here to love and be loved and there is nothing that can stop me from protecting those whom I love most.
Viola Oct 2015
My brother my friend
Together from beginning
Til the very end
Viola Feb 2016
Don't fear the buzzards
That pick away at your flesh
Your carcass still encases your very best
Your bones are strong
You belong to the earth
Do not ever rebuke your birth
Never shy from the fire of the hearth
Desire, suffer, you give yourself worth
Don't die
It is all you have to do
To keep the buzzards away from you.
Viola Dec 2015
Could have been moses in a basket
But it was a tiny syrian refugee who found no recipie washed apon the shore put in a casket with the hope he bore
No one blew a gasket
As they shunned them at bay
No justice for us
Who have no choice but to participate in the childish games mad men play
Kids in factories make toy guns for your sons so they'll grow up to fight a war for greedy men who will always want more
And we wave the red, white, and blue.
Don't tread on me. These colors dont run, they're tried and true. These colors don't run, they don't blend, the blood of the native American ran red, when the white pilgrim came, and then they took people with darker skin took them brought them from where they called home, skinned them of freedom and beat them black and blue never leaving them alone. These colors don't run. They bleed they're stained. Lady liberty greets all with her feet still chained, anchored by distain for her light does not put the night to shame, for the darkness is to great for the history and fate of the hate that our country creates but we remain indignant that the immigrants will destroy the reminants of the american dream. Wake up, things are not all as they seem, we're complacent within our placement at the top of the hierarchy but really we are at the bottom of a very complex conglomeration of an oligarchy
There is no way to rationalize with those who disguise corporate fascism as democracy. The hypocrisy and the lies.
Everything we do is for them to capitalize on
We are but used as simple pon.
But I hope a revolution might bring a new dawn.
We must unite to agree not to fight
To not let unruly hate and greed surpass love and need.
Then only then do I truly believe will we all be freed at last.


Viola May 2017
Color Sight
A white defendant approaches the stand
Places his hand on the book
He's about to tell a lie
but he doesn't look shook
because he knows the media
will sympathise
when they look into his blue eyes
At the same time a brother
is terrified
because he knows lady justice
may have her eyes covered
but she ain't color blind
All she sees is a statistic
another minority
committing a crime
just like the majority of the time
Let him tell the truth
they won't hear a word
Spoken from a black youth
because his dark eyes
are guilty as sin
but the verdict is in
and the only thing
that makes him complicit
is the color of his skin
Akin to days of Emmitt Till
A black man is violent
A white man is ill
So fervent to judge
Your honor holds a grudge
Since the 1990s crime bill
Claiming African Americans are super predators
who need more stringent sentences
Editors print the spin
Posting a mug shot of a young black kid
Everyone is talking
Look what he did
See that white boy's lacrosse photo
He couldn't hurt a fly
Good upper-class family
Why would he lie
What would we think
If justice was truly blind
Viola Jan 2018
What are contact pages on facebook and twitter account number
Viola May 2020
I don’t know you
I may never
But if you’re anything like me
or your father
You will be clever
You will be smart
You will joyfully take on any endeavor
with all of your heart
You will triumph
and you will fail
But you will keep on trying
and you will prevail
You will love without grace
Never being afraid to fall on your face
If you’re anything like me
You will be clumsy as can be
If you are anything like him
You will give anything to win
If you are anything like us
You will have to learn to trust
with mercy forgiveness and kindness
Never chaste
These are just some of the qualities
I hope you will embrace.
Viola Mar 2016
Nothing worthwhile is easy
Life is difficult
You have to challenge yourself
To exceed no expectations
To fail with grace
Not regret
It is not over yet
Viola Jan 2020
Many of dreams
I have let die
Many of tears
I have cried
Many of fears
Kept me from trying
And my own lips
Have been lying
I’ve let myself down
But I am trying
I need to get well
I feel like I am dying
And I am afraid
But I keep on trying
To find my way
Because I am good and evil
But I am good enough
To be a better person
instead letting my life and those
who I love lives worsen
I have to give up
On my ways that hold me back
My falls from grace in
which I feel discipline is what I lack
It will be uncomfortable
But it simply must be
Because change is what I seek
And desperation is for the meek
It takes determination
To ascend to the peak
Viola Sep 2018
Doubt is the darkness devoid of light
Doubt is a racecourse with no end in sight
Doubt is an insidious disease with no cure
Doubt is constantly feeling unsure
Doubt is a vacuum without a breeze
Doubt is everything that can never be
Doubt is all of my overwhelming insecurities
Doubt is everything I've ever come to know
But hopeful is what I want to be
Viola Mar 2016
I will return to the dream world
I visit nightly
I go far away
Where all is
The way it
Should be
Even if it
Isn't, no
Consequences
Come to me
Because I awake
To make a new mistake
Daily
Viola Feb 2016
In my dreams, I am alive,
I can do anything without fear,
I know that I will survive.
Viola Jan 2016
Oh this pain
withers me
to my old bones
I wish I had a hand to hold
but every man that touches me
eventually turns ice cold
I always have to fly on my own
til I find the warm heart
That I'll make my home
then maybe
I'll learn to be happy
and warm
safe from harm
But right now
I'm lonely
with love
losing it's charm
I feel the familiar feeling
reeling up to the goodbye
I don't know what to do
So I just let it lie in silence
And I give up my reliance
Wait in defiance of how we will become you and me.
How I'll try to forget your name
That will scar my heart
As another one, who I believed could be the one.
And I'll remember how I said I love you,
And you didn't say a thing.
And I'll give up on what we had between us.
Kick myself for caring to much.
And brush it off, and be strong.
But maybe, I am the one who is wrong.
Viola May 2020
The louder you are
The quieter your room becomes
Viola Nov 2015
I only have enough confidence to fill the silence.
I only have enough patience to wait for not.
I only have enough self respect for apathy.
All this time, I have had enough.
Viola Feb 2020
Her Majesty
Was on the brink of madness you see
She was facing tragedy
Her life had become a travesty
So she embraced fantasy
Dazzling ecstasy
Couldn’t quell the sadness
It was all hell and terrible badness
She couldn’t tell up from down
And in the sky
She began to drown
Was she swimming or flying
Living or dying
High or low
She lost her mind
But where did it go
Searching everywhere
But inside herself
She then begin to lose her health
The fear of reality
Made her insane
But through acceptance
She eased the pain
Suddenly she faced the shame
Giving forgiveness
Laid waste to blame
Finally she was no longer beating herself at her own game
The queen was safe
Victorious on her throne
She was free
But she was alone
Her king in another castle
Fighting a battle of his own
Slaying his demons
How they had grown
Those imps became dragons
Dragging him down
But his fight was valiant
And he protected his crown
Most wars are fought
With armies of men
But it’s best to go it alone instead
When the enemy is in your head
Viola Oct 2015
Fake Ladies

fake hair, fake *******, fake *****, fake nails, fake smile, fake lashes.

It's tragic how we sell ourselves to be plastic.

We deny the beauty inside with instagram filter magic.

We change ourselves to fit the image that that sells.

We buy into the idea that our bodies and skin define us.

We let society redesign us as it believes we should be.

With all that is fake, our reality is only our facade.

No longer do we strive to be true to ourselves and I find it odd.

Where we had amelia airheart
Madam curie, and jone of arc.

We now have a bottle blond with a beauty mark.

She said *** sells, and nothing else, every woman there after was less herself.

Taught that her worth was under her skirt,
But still longing to be understood and always getting hurt.

Ladies, you are not the way you paint your face, do your hair, or the clothes you wear.

What makes you who you are, is your way of thought, your ability to empathize. Your refusal to compromise your value. Your honor can not be bought.

If you ever gaze upon the mirror and wish to see something different look in yourself and find, that the true you can not be seen, for the human eyes are blind to the soul, so be heard, listen, love, laugh, and help others to be whole.

Where make up, makes up for what we lack, I say we take it off and take it all back.

It is easy to be fake, it is hard to be real. This varnish that masks emptiness washes off to reveal, the real you inside, the you you hide, for the fear of being isolated, you mask your pain. You're tarnished in shame.

The next time you draw a winged line on your eyes, i wish you would refrain, instead draw a conclusion, try to explain a thought, realize this fake surely is not.
Viola Mar 2020
Present and calm
Hopeful and well
As for the future
Time will tell
Viola Sep 2017
There is a little voice inside my head
that tells me I am better off dead

It tells me that I will let everyone down
subconsciously turning my smile to a frown

It tells me that I am miserable
it is truly visceral

I ignore it, I abhor hit
I endure it

I make it through
at the end of the day
I know none of it is true

I am alive
I will survive
and thrive
til my day comes
I will not retreat
til the battle is won
the enemy is me
but I will destroy myself
if only to save
my mental health
I am a mighty warrior
I move with strength and stealth
I wont let me
give me hell
To divide and conquer
I take the power away
to hear any of those things
I would rather not say
this internal conflict
fought with a half wit
serves no purpose
but to write verses
and I will reverse this
stigma I brought upon myself
because I am perfect
because I am no one else
Viola Aug 2019
In a fever dream of pyrotechnicolor
I set fire to my life
Lining up my affects and assets
And igniting them one by one
Today I wake and can’t believe what I’ve done
But there is no wrong in starting over
Even if you start a fire
If you desire rebirth
Place your feet upon the hearth
And everything else you know
Surely the will not to burn
Will keep you from being hot ash in an urn
Viola Mar 2016
My love is that of my own
The love I have never been shown
The love I could never accept
The love I lost to neglect
The love that I have chosen to reject
Is that of my own
So I will show myself some respect
Because I am not yet grown
But I am not inept
Viola Aug 2011
The essence of a memory
You are my treasured youth.
You alone are living proof
That when I tell him he's my first love
It is not the truth.
I can not forget your face.
It has a place in my mind.
You alone are the part of my past
I could never leave behind.
Viola Jan 2020
Acceptance
Viola Jun 2018
You're the man who was never there
When I was alone
And I was scared
You never cared
You were never at home
Now that you're here
I am never alone
I am never scared
Because you've shown that you cared
As long as you're here
I am right at home
I was a mess before you found me
Viola Dec 2017
I have been given an entire universe to explore
I can create within it's constructs
I manifest change through it's vibrations as it reverberates my very being
I am matter,  so I do matter, and you are what matters most to me
In all of the multiverses with all of their galaxies I chose you
In every possible epoch or era, we are experiencing this di roll of reality
and I wouldn't want it any other way
I feel destined to have been designed
as I am when I am with you
You make my existence seem fortuitous
and I am grateful to be with you
on this earth
Viola May 2020
As delicate as the leaf trembling in the breeze
Holding so very tightly to a twig
a tiny seed that will grow so big
Let go
Be freed
Be carried far
Though you grasp
This is not where you belong
Let the wind blow you
You are going to
A place away
From here
Release
Fear
Be at ease
Fly away please
You aren’t meant to be
So very, very small
You are waiting
To be so tall
Just fall in
Peace
Viola Feb 2016
I am a butterfly
Unweaving my cocoon
Like a weavers loom
I am unraveling my silken thread
To shed the intricate prison
That I have been in
I am beginning
To grow
But I have to push my wings to learn to fly
It will only be shortly
Before I die
I must enjoy this beauty in brevity
To defy gravity and fly
I must push myself heavily
To reach the sky
I spent so long trapped on the ground
And I have only so much time
To enjoy this freedom I have found
Viola Dec 2015
Currently thinking of currency
What the concept means
A delegation of natural resources
Represented by variable things
And the credit lines in between
The debts and interest
The investments
Printed on cotton paper
Begotten from vapor
Minted and accounted
I can't make cents of dollar cents and dimes
Adorned with with deceased Presidents
Reminiscent of a simpler time
When we enslaved without the illusion of a living wage
When only the rich were educated
In institutions segrated from the working classes
The huddled masses
The breeders of poverty squished by sovereignty
Gasping for the thin air that brought them there
Hungry and bare
I dont think anything can change the hell
That came with the idea to buy and sell
We fell victim to the whims of the opportunists who compete to capitalize completely on the gifts given freely since birth by beautiful mother earth
Gifts that once processed are never given back in full.
Only to be borrowed and used as tool.
We humans beings are but fools being used and using tools that we don't need
To consume with greed as it consumes us
And we swirl into the cosmic dust of nothingness that created us and destroyed us just as we did to it. Money ain't ****. It was a joke, laugh *****. But our guns will oxidize and rust, all that will be left is our trust in the notion that gold will save us all,
Our belief the government can bequeath security the same way a man can present a diamond of perfect purity with the proposal of loyal betrothal. This illusion that all is right at with our present plight is something I detest but I will not fight.
To fight is to give in, to the illusion we live in. I cant accept this reality with altruism, I reject that we are secure, I deject the institution I have been subjected to endure since birth. I am not of your shared delusions
I am of the earth. My freedom is my kindness to make not my life that you may take.
Viola Oct 2018
The blank screen a canvas
For my scrambling thought
Black text is life brought
The blinking cursor
a precursor to what is next
Often times
These winding rhymes can leave me vexed
But still I pine on every line
Leaning over curving my spine
Squinting eyes open heart
Carefully creating every part
Til I feel that I am through
These words are all that I can give to you
Though they are for me you can have them too
Viola Jul 2018
There's a beast in my breast
A creature in my chest
I say a prayer to soothe her to sleep
But the monster never rests
Her goal to keep me awake
With every regret and every mistake
Most hearts have ventricles
Mine has tentacles and claws
Scraping and scratching at all of my flaws
The cause is insurmountable
accountable for malace
A chalice of pain
In a world of suffering
It always will reign
But theres an angel in my head
She challenges the beast instead
Of letting me fight this battle
That rattles my ribcage
She is reserved and refrains
From the eternal rage
She helps me decide
That there's no need to hide
She takes my side
And whispers lullabies
That help me take it instride
No matter how I've tried
To calm their qualm
They quarrel incessantly
But this upheaval
Of good and evil
Is my destiny
Viola Dec 2020
I don’t say bye for now
Now I say Good bye
I won’t wish you farewell
I’ll say well I tried
Because I know I did good and well
When I was by your side
But you made my life hell
So I had to run and hide
I thought the sun was burning me
But it was all a shame
If you feel burnt
Then know I feel the same
But I don’t have the blues
But sometimes I wanna sing
But not for you
Because it would only make your ears begin to ring
As winter is growing near
The cold doesn’t sting
Because I see a future
And the warmth it will bring
I can’t look back at you
And what was our decay
Because I’ve got more than enough to sustain me on my plate today
As for the loss and the nothing that remains
I wish you well
I don’t care if you feel the same
And one more word if I may
I’m looking forward to giving you back your name
Because I am Ceridwen
I am Shiva
I am the Phoenix that you tried to extinguish
I am Pandora’s Box
that you tried to open and shut like a case of cold feet
I am the puzzle you couldn’t complete
but you only saw me as a missing piece
Viola Oct 2018
What is it like to be good enough?
I have never understood the concept.
I'm used to feeling inept
and full of doubt
But self respect...
What's that about.
Self destruction I understand.
I've mastered self neglect.
I know self loathing like the back of my hand.
I've never had a plan,
Never had a dream,
Never been good enough,
But perhaps someday I may.
Viola Dec 2015
Good morning,
The war is over.
We have examined the cause of famine,
And no more shall perish from hunger.
We have stopped aging,
We are becoming younger.
We are growing trees that fight disease.
Our natural resources are plenty,
We have done away with the archaic concept of money.
We now master over the natural forces of disaster.  
We have decided to stop fighting,
And start providing relief.
Good morning it is a new day.
I have just awoken from a deep sleep.
Viola Apr 2021
We wonder in the desert
In search of the mirage of dessert
Searching for that which satiates
But does not sustain
Our broken hearts are broken clocks
But there is a compass that leads the flock
Deep inside peace does abide
If we just stand still
Let the beasts from every corner sound their trumpets shrill
For the angels all surround us
But not with mighty sword
The earth shakes when David’s Lyre plays it’s resounding chord
Heaven and hell are at war
But victory for the armless and the lame
Will show us all the mercy that Jesus is his name.
None shall harm us.
As long as it is in God we trust.
Amen
Viola May 2020
A pallet on the floor
Was a place to lay our heads
We didn’t have toys
But we had books instead
Flowers were crowns
For royal ******* whose lineage wasn’t found
And the palace we used to inhabit
Was littered with needles and havoc
I look back without any shame
Because today life just ain’t the same
Viola Mar 2016
A belated thank you
To the men who taught me
I ought to love myself
And to the man
Who holds my hand
Know that I am trying
To understand
How to trust
But I must
First learn
To just
Let go
Viola Nov 2017
We are here
Suspended in fear
Hanging onto hope
Like a slowly freying rope
But the bond is strong
So we hold on
At least we have one another
If all else fails
This I believe
Our love prevails
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