You’ve left so much behind
Can’t seem to find you anywhere
Your truck is parked in the drive
And your shirt is on the chair
The bills are are piling up
And everyone keeps calling
We wanted you to come home
But you left us all alone
when we dial your phone
Your voicemail is full
Trying to keep it together
Everyone is losing their cool
Why’d you have to go
Why do you have to stay gone
Nobody knows how to get on with it
Thought you would be back in a bit
But you never came back from the hospital
It was only supposed to be a few more days
Before you were on your way
The family won’t stop fighting and crying
Because we could never picture you dying

Sometimes I feel like I am doing everyone a great disservice just by being alive
When I reflect on this I feel almost narcissistic
My existence is not that impactful
All of these thoughts bring me an inner grief
As I would not say these things towards another person
I want to filter my inner monologue
My thoughts can almost bring me to tears when I am trying to focus on a present task at hand
Ruminations of misery come over me at random
I want to be emotionally well

I still remember when I first fell in love with you.
Your smile made me feel like a child, overjoyed.
Your playfulness painted a picture of the happy family I had never imagined before.
Your social commentary made me feel less awkward and alone.
Your focus left me in awe as I focused on you.
I wanted to get a piggy back ride from you.
I wanted our future children to have that opportunity as well.
I wanted to hold your hand in that moment and forever.
When you picked me a flower, I picked you.
I had to meet my best friend so I had to say goodbye.
But I had met my best friend and I never wanted to say goodbye.

Many of dreams
I have let die
Many of tears
I have cried
Many of fears
Kept me from trying
And my own lips
Have been lying
I’ve let myself down
But I am trying
I need to get well
I feel like I am dying
And I am afraid
But I keep on trying
To find my way
Because I am good and evil
But I am good enough
To be a better person
instead letting my life and those
who I love lives worsen
I have to give up
On my ways that hold me back
My falls from grace in
which I feel discipline is what I lack
It will be uncomfortable
But it simply must be
Because change is what I seek
And desperation is for the meek
It takes determination
To ascend to the peak

Present and calm
Hopeful and well
As for the future
Time will tell

Her Majesty
Was on the brink of madness you see
She was facing tragedy
Her life had become a travesty
So she embraced fantasy
Dazzling ecstasy
Couldn’t quell the sadness
It was all hell and terrible badness
She couldn’t tell up from down
And in the sky
She began to drown
Was she swimming or flying
Living or dying
High or low
She lost her mind
But where did it go
Searching everywhere
But inside herself
She then begin to lose her health
The fear of reality
Made her insane
But through acceptance
She eased the pain
Suddenly she faced the shame
Giving forgiveness
Laid waste to blame
Finally she was no longer beating herself at her own game
The queen was safe
Victorious on her throne
She was free
But she was alone
Her king in another castle
Fighting a battle of his own
Slaying his demons
How they had grown
Those imps became dragons
Dragging him down
But his fight was valiant
And he protected his crown
Most wars are fought
With armies of men
But it’s best to go it alone instead
When the enemy is in your head

Home to me, is a warm cup of tea.
Green with honey and lemon.
Steeping, steaming, and hot.
A hint of mint, why not?
Home to me, is a knit sweater.
Gifted or thrifted even better.
Lint and cat hair everywhere.
Tossed on the chair without a care.
Home to me, is a menthol cigarette.
Puffed away with little regret.
Half lit and half wet from the morning dew.
Stubbed out before it’s through.
Home to me, is thoughts of you.
A smile sprawling across my face.
Tangled fingers interlaced.
Intermingled in your embrace.
Home to me, is less of a place and more of a feeling but right now home to me is a conversation with a ceiling.

In the rising tide
That ebbs and flows
I won’t find myself
Thrashing against
Crashing waves
Like throes of passion
I’ll hold steady
But not too tight
And ride it out
Til the sky is bright
If I find myself
Smashing against the rocky shore
I’ll gaze upon the lighthouse
Til I’m no longer sore
If I find myself thrashing in the current
Grasping for air
I will not succumb to the sea
You’ll see me there
This too shall pass
I’ll soon be found
The moon sings to me
And I am sound

From the Midwest to the North East
An insatiable appetite for adventure
Never ceased
From the city that never sleeps
To the beaches of cape cod
With just a nod we kept on going
No sign of us slowing
We made our way to the summit
Before the elements made us submit
Because easily we could plummet down
We sought more solid ground
All the way to the Niagara Falls
Where walls of water crashing down
Made a thunderous rushing sound
back on the road to the place we call home
With you I feel no fear
In a world unknown

Icarus had wings that would only get him so high
Ten years ago he fell from the sky
Too close to the sun for which he so yearned
His tarnished wings scorched and burned
Never descending to hell again
My friend is in heaven
And well within
Under God’s watchful eye
Surely you will never die
Though you had to perish
I do cherish you so
I had to let you go
So you could fly
Though this is goodbye
It’s just for now
I know we will meet again
Some way some how

We rode on the backs of giants
Our heads barely over the cover of clouds
On the high we were reliant
Indignant, defiant, and proud
We screamed so loud they could hear us
Bellowing from below
We could not make out
What they would shout
from the bottom down so low
We were up there for so long
That we had forgotten
what it was like to look up
Looking down was enough to get us by
We had grown accustomed to the sky
To the ground
we fell all the way
And we tried to yell for help
But to our dismay
No one could hear
what we had to say
Looking up at the giants that used to carry us
Was almost scary because
At any time we could be crushed
no longer did we feel the rush
Of touching heavens crown
now we only knew as much
As the loss that we had found