The pain that hurts the most is when your smiling to keep the tears from flowing uncontrollably.

No one knows the battles I’m facing,
That they can’t see.
They judge because they don’t know,
What’s really going on with me.
My face says happy,
But my eyes say pain.
I’m all alone,
And it’s driving me insane.

I’m in a prison,
Held back by a chain.
The chaos and sadness,
Always on my brain.
I’m all alone,
With people all around me.
In this prison in side my head,
I just can’t seem to break free.

I want to be a light
But I feel so dark

Others are like sunshine
Shining bright

While I am no more than the object that casts the shadow blocking the smiles against the gorgeous golden tan skin, and the happiness throughout those outdoors on a gorgeous day.

Well. Tans cause skin cancer. So I guess I’m doing you a favor.

Everyone I meet tells me they love my eyes

They tell me they’re gorgeous and how jealous they are. How they sparkle
They’re jealous of the eyes that see the world in a way of hopelessness?
The eyes that only see an occasional high in the sea of lows.
They’re jealous of the eyes that cry enough to keep a iris...
While there’s couldn’t keep a cactus alive.
They wouldn’t envy these eyes if they knew how many tears they’ve cried. Because they don’t sparkle always,
As soon as you walk away,
The sparkle turns into tears.
They tell me their jealous of my eyes but they don’t know what’s behind them.

I do a lot to be pretty.

The feeling of hunger rushes through my body through all 6 periods in the day, but I need to be pretty.

The money spent on hair nails clothes and products never complete my search to be pretty.

The fingers in the back of my throat are to satisfy the need to be pretty.

But the crying often is because I’m trying to be pretty, not happy.

Sadness is like a drug

It takes you away from reality and alters how you see what is really going on.