Maybe we should take a little bit better
Of ourselves.
Of each other.
Of our Friends.
The people that make up our lives.
The people whom we are in the life of.
Maybe we should ask
The questions that need to be said.
The difficult task that must be done.
Or  simply.
Ask the hardest questions.
How are you? Not today but every moment! Are you happy?
How are you feeling, will you get out of bed today.
Want to go out with me?
Maybe we should tell them
What we really think.
I love you/I like you/I can not get enough of you.
Your eyes, your beauty, Makes my insides melt.
Your hugs I don't want to let go.
Maybe we should share
Our own life stories.
Our own defeats.
Our warmth.
Maybe we should relax for
One more second.
One more breath.
One more word.
One more glance.
Maybe.
We should.
Just.
Care a little bit more...

Kicked out of college.
I can't be successful,
and it's all because I can't succeed.
You say my grades are not good enough for you.
I'm sorry.
That I can't keep up.
You don't give me enough time to understand.
Maybe if you taught me I would.
Maybe if my family had been here before I wouldn't need extra time.
I go to college to be taught,
but all college offered me was the books;
books at a high price.
You say I lack the ability, but it seems like you lack the ability to understand yourself.
Unable to see past the constraints of this rigorous campus,
and see that I'm struggling on the inside more than the outside.
Unable to perceive which way to go, making life decisions can't be that fast.
I love you education, but your bounty is too bold.
Simple minds deprive you of what glory you could hold.
College, simply glance past me as if I'm another person you have tried to educate.
but failed you, where I feel more like college failed us both.
Your unwillingness to see that life is going on,
and mashing people together thinking that we are of one mold.
College you failed, you don't offer diversity, but attempt to hide your singularity.
I'll figure out what's going on inside.
Then I'll teach myself what I need to know.
An institution blinded by their bills.
Can no longer educate.
One day you'll do the same as me,
and open up yours eyes.

My poem is called how to be forced into a talent show.
It's very easy to be forced into a talent show when you're me.
No, I am not saying, "Ooooo" look at me I am Michael Ryan and I am the most talented person in the world.
I'm more saying, "oooo" look at me, I'm such a nice person that I will do your talent show, even though I don't want to.
Yes, that is what I am really trying to say, but not in a conceited kind of way, because that's not me.
I was forced into this talent show from the very beginning.
The very beginning, the very first sign up day.
and I thought "hmm I don't have any talent", and she was like oh yes you do, well of course I believe her.
And from that moment I've felt slightly uneasy, because to be honest she can't be there every day to tell me "hey you have talent."
And to be honest all I'm doing is a SPOKEN WORD poem, which is pretty much just me talking.
What a talent that must be...but not really.
Then my friend tried to jump on board with me to do a duet of a poem, so I was forced even more in to this situation.
But luckily that person changed their mind and so I was just stuck with my original oh you have talents person stringing me along into this over thought situation.
Just to let you know I did eventually try to tell them hey I think I'm not gonna do(but then they cut me off), and told me once again you got talents, and please please please do my talent show.
So of course I can't say no, that's not what a nice guy would do, which I am.
And this is what came to me, how about I just write about how one is forced to be doing this in front of a group of people, even though you already said no soooo many times.
And to be honest this is terrifying, because I just came up with this, 30mins ago.
Even though I sat for many hours thinking what to write, it just never felt well right.
And ugh seriously this is so stressful, that I really do wonder why I am even up here.
I could be sleeping right now, but instead I've been convinced to do this.
And there's no guarantee anyone or myself will even like this.
But sleep, ****, I know I would like to fall into that right now.
Just dreaming, peacefully, to be sleeping and not on a stage, being gawked at by some strangers.

I fear understanding
you can't understand me
that's fine
No, one can
I'm just a jumble mess of a fruit salad
and you wonder what each piece is
is that watermelon?
nope that's a very strange strawberry, I think some one took a bite and put it back in
Does that not make sense?  I hope so I tried to make sense
but if I just let myself go and talk and talk and talk
well it's hard to think, hmm will you understand these words of mine?
or are you just smiling and agreeing to be nice(even though I think that's pretty rude of you)
Open and understanding of the things around me, it's hard to know what to do
what is the right thing for me to do
There's people out there smoking all sorts of things
There's people studying all the things they want to know
people becoming drug dealers, people becoming doctors
Hmm, can't I just be Michael?
Yup, I think that's the one for me
You'll just write a poem instead of doing either of those things
it's easier that way
become successful? naw bro, I"ll just become a poet
and when I become old and gray and eventually pass away
many years after that fateful departure
I will become the most famous out of all these people
All of them, just because I chose to write and write and write
random things, that when I'm no longer there to explain what they mean
people will be able to ponder, hmm I think this one is about a dragon(none of my poems are about dragons, although maybe I'll write one now)
People will get all my writings wrong wrong and more wrong
the longer I am dead the more mysterious my writing will be become
My fragmented words will begin to mean new things
and further off the trail those people will be
and more a genius they will think I am, even though they will have just read a poem about a dragon.

I'm feeling lazy today
How about you write me a poem this time
So I can rest my head and let my heart sleep in peace for just one night

Have you ever watched a movie more than once
most of time that's a thing, falling in love with the movie
the scenes
the people
the every little detail
that bring more happiness or acknowledgement into their lives
It doesn't matter what those things are, they do it over and over
and to be honest that beautiful
that's love
being able to come back to something over and over and know that's what you love
That no matter the flaws of that art
no matter the unchanging damages that will always exist
you're able to come back
back to this old house of yours
feeling comfort
JOY
That's what people are longing to be the movie in your life
that even though they **** and will always **** at some things
you come back
and love them
maybe realize that you love them even more
now that time has gone by
you have grown to appreciate their glamor even more
and truly, amazing this is
Just come back
and read another time
and you'll have changed
to understand
that I will constantly be here
the same words, paragraph into this persons mind
isn't that something to come back to?

I have to write a poem.
So I said I'd write a poem.
A poem about my a friend, a friend...I've never met.
One that I know.
Not a symbolic friend, but a friend that really exist.
She's somewhere in the world, yes I know where, exactly, not the street, but the distant land they live.
I may not know the true presence they give off if I were there in person.
But I know enough to know that they are dear to me!
I could go beyond to say that they are if not one of the best of any person I have ever come upon.
Maybe meeting the way we did was the best way for us to meet.
Being able to give our all; right at the starting gate.
No, worries of being frowned at, especially since most of the time we can't see each others faces.
But that doesn't matter I see so much more than the strangers in her life.
Even more than most friends will ever see.
I get to see what matters, and that means the world.
She maybe some what crazy, and most of the time fairly lame, really she is super super lame
But the lameness is what is so nice to see, since I am the same way.
Talking to her, 'hmm how can I explain for you to understand.'
Calming kinda like the ocean breeze, or relaxing on a devilishly sunny clear sky day.
Everything else is kinda blurred out, left to right nothing, but silence and peace.
Even if our insides are beaten up, and someone is sore from kayaking.
I think the knowledge that there really is someone else that cares,
even if they too don't have a picture of me on some wall.
I know that they are willing to try to make me happy and that says so much more.
They may never be able to give me a shoulder to lean on,
but their words will always be there to pick me back up.
They're my friend and I can't thank them enough.