I came up here to say another one of my silly little poems
and that's exactly what I'm going to do
except I won't only describe what i thought or what I think
I should describe exactly what I am
Before I even said a word some other things flashed through your heads
Some of them are simple facts and are easy to see
Yes, I am an overweight person and yes I am very red and no it is not a sunburn
Looking at my arms you'll notice that I do indeed have lots of freckles and I could possibly be a ginger
I do have two giant holes 1 in each ear with some metal in them, because I decided that was what I wanted to do
Possibly you thought that I don't look like a poet, instead just some bro that lost his edge
This would be my body through your eyes, and I'd pretty much agree with you
Superficially and esthetically you have determine who I am, in your head
but you would you be wrong, but possibly you could be right, but most likely you are wrong
So visually you have determined a few things about me, which has also decided if you like me or not
and it's this predisposition that makes you decide if I'm more interesting or just more annoying
but in actuality you don't even know my name yet, the most basic thing
Maybe you already knew my name, because they announced it, or we've met, but other than that you don't know me
Now that my body is out of the way, let me dig past all the social talk, and tell you what I tell my therapist, when I actually get the will to see him
I get to wake up in the morning and think "wow, I get to wake up again", telling sarcasm to yourself is kinda sad.
But it is a perfect fit when you are actually sad, or depressed, which sounds kind of extreme
sounds even worse when you throw the manic part in front of the depression; manic depression
now I sound like a crazy person, but really I just want to die, but I guess most consider that crazy
People around me find me as two sides of a coin
One is my poker face, which is a lot of fun, or myself I feel most of the time
Where I don't talk that much and I hide myself in the corner of the group; just to be in reach of people
Do I have a plan to **** myself, yet, no I do not, because I still have hope
hope that keeps the dead still alive, which I consider myself, someone that is dead,
but is still able to move around the shell that they are dead within
Now all of you random people and not so random people know, what my family and even my therapist doesn't even know.
That me, some peer of yours, you decided to identify some way because of my ears or my ginger soullessness, which I would judge the ginger too.
Would rather die than live the life that you've all help create, what a masterpiece it is.
Instead of believing these words of mine, you mistakenly think they are not proof enough
You'll ask what has happened to me
Gladly I'll be able to tell you that nothing bad has ever happened to me
my family is happy and my parents are still together and in love
I have no scars to show, other than the dumb accidents of life, or a random attack by a dog
I have no motive or reason to hate myself, but I do
and I guess that's everything I got to say
I did this to show my strength and my weakness at the same time to a whole bunch of people
Now this has warped your image of me even more, but it can't be any worse or any better
because you don't even know my name yet, and by the way my name is Michael and it's nice to meet you.

The Tides Sweep
Away the Dreams
Reality Wanes
Sand weeps as
the land seeps
Always in motion
obviously, Ocean

Babe your smile I can read
that's something that seems so genuine
You think I always got my normal sun burn going
but honestly you got me blushing
Making eye contact and that smile, brings such a rush
Sorry if you think that staring at my lips is not that noticeable
because honestly you do it way too much
How you laugh at every little thing
you give those tell-tale signs
that speak volumes more than our words
It's not a mystery of why you always grab onto me
always wanting one more touch
even if for an instance you get the pleasure of how my skin feels
You want to know who I am, and all that I am
So you laugh, flirt, throw things at me, and eventually bite me
To see if I taste as sweet as you would think
I'm no candy apple, even if I may be so brightly red
Even with everything fittingly the right place
I can't do this
No matter how much you want to know me
I can't do this
With every second I feel like I'm dying, once I get pass those goo-goo eyes
I can't do this
Sorry babe but I can't tell if this is some where new
or some where that I died before

All I got for you today,
and tomorrow,
and the day before that.
Was a cluster of emotions and lack luster words.
No day will ever be different.
I am a hack!
You are the abused!
My duty was some sorts an easy one.
And my ****** nature has come to nothing.
We've gained nothing!
No insight, not even a trivial hint at understanding.
One year has nearly passed, and seriously I've squandered our time.
"Writing", "poetry", ****.
I am sorry!
My ego and sensitivity has gotten us further down the rabbit hole.
Elegantly telling the future and the drawbacks.
Instead I've haphazardly struggle to cope with concepts,
and with that I'd drugged thousands into thinking I could do something.
Well my thousands I don't think I should do that to you anymore.
No more should I keep on going.
I will stop, because a hack can never stand the same ground as true poets.
Soon I will cease to exist and to your pleasure good bye.
Rejoice in the freedom that I no longer waste.
Enjoy your idle times in better tidings.
Some where else, without me.

I'm about to set out to my advent, college
For the second time in another year
I will leave them all behind
Now does it feel the same
I could not tell you so,
Now does it feel not the same
I wish I could tell you that
but honestly I don't know
All I know is that I'm leaving
and that I hope for the best
That my time will be worth the restlessness
hopefully I will not digress
that my time will progress
just like my simple self my river never lets go
as I steadily ground myself and dig deeper into the mountain side
my family knows these tides, will they be as rough
I doubt it, they become at ease, with my leave
while from land they may not see
but my boat has leaks
no one knows, but I may drown out at sea

What if the thing that brought you the most joy
Was also the monster in your life
That with every glimmer of desperate happiness
Something else decided to slide it's devious knifes into your side
Is the good part of the deed that is done
worth sacrificing the little bits of your heart that are left
It's always been this way with you
deviating between the good and the bad
Always going with the delightful and enchanting look first
then changing to a different hue, that we all know so much better
This always could be so much longer
not today, today was a day spent bleeding
Don't you wish today was just like the day at the beach
instead today was just like the day after the beach
No longer enjoying the rays and the waves
instead metaphorical blisters represent realistic screaming pain between us
Hope for tomorrow
and pray for the next day after.
Since tomorrow is a good day for us to talk, your voice will bring me joy
I'll break the cycle here, to see if it'll fix our lives as well.

Comfort
an emotional connection
a state of being, where you no longer hate yourself
maybe the hand made quilts that you decide to bask in all day have finally brought this fancy
instead of sweltering in this makeshift office of a bedroom
I doubt they have the ability to do that, maybe they did way back then, but not for you
these quilts were made for another, but who knows who that was
I've decided to make up identities to make things easier to come up with
I have only one persona in life, and it goes with a half smile
but in my writings I can be anyone
but I can't be anyone other than myself so they reflect who I am
Ever being the same thoughts and the same ends
every once and awhile I'm able to show my hope, the hope that keeps the dead alive
Maybe that's why I love love stories that end the way you think they should
You wanted fantasy, but always getting reality