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Pendragon Aug 2013
Look on my arms,
Look at my thighs,
All covered in scars.

Not a thing any one can do,
To make me stop.
It's my escape,
My addiction perhaps.

The tension all pent up inside,
Comes out,
And comes
ALIVE,
When written on my arms an thighs.

That shiny silver,
Scrap of medal,
Brings my otherwise
Dead soul back
To life.

The lines,
The designs,
Make me feel like an
ARTIST.

The words,
And the hurt,
Are just my muse.

Letting the monster inside,
Seep out a little at a time.

The scars the wounds,
That cover my skin,
Call it a sickness,
Call it a sin,
But it's letting out what ever
That lives,
W
  I
   T
    H
       I
        N
Pendragon Aug 2013
EW
The chunks of time that I loose,
I have found where they go,
They go to a girl named,
Ew.

I never knew she existed,
Until,
She had a name.
I don't remember creating her.
Or where she came from.

Her name is Ew,
She is part of me,
Vastly different from the actual me.

Ew,
is a strange name , yes I know.
Ew is the only name that's suits her.

Ew,
A person so difficult to handle,
A daily struggle to keep her hidden.

Ew,
A person,
Who lives inside .

Ew,
A new part of me,
A whole new identity.

Taylor
And
Ew
The two
Souls
Living
I
N
S
I  
D
E  
Of
Me.
Pendragon Aug 2013
Please just let me fall asleep,
I have already dug my razor
Way too deep.
Please just let me Fall Asleep.

I'm laying here tears in my eyes,
Blood on my sheets.
Please for ***** sake let me
FALL ASLEEP!

Please just let me fall asleep,
I want to stop crying,
Inside I'm ******* dying.
Please, just let me fall asleep.

Please, just let me fall asleep,
With each pass of this razor,
It goes a little deeper,
I just want to make this night end!!!
PLEASE, just let me fall asleep.
This really ******* *****, yo.
Pendragon Jul 2013
I have no other way to express
What I'm feeling,
I don't think I'm actually
Dealing.
It's better to pretend I'm brave,
So they can't tell.
He'll yes I'm scared.
When those results were explained,
Only one word stuck,
T
    U
       M
           O
               R.
What this can't be true.
I find out tomorrow where to
Go from here.
Another set of blood work
Just to make sure.

Normal range between 4 and 23,
If this was a race to 100
wouldn't be beat.
92 and some decimals have told me,
My fate.

The long journey begins today,
With these two simple words,
B
      R
            A
                  I
                      N

                 T
            U
       M
   O
R
Pendragon Jul 2013
Come one, come all,
To see this girl fall.
Every unkind word,
That you thought she never heard.
Has all earned a spot on,
Her body canvas.
And painted in her mind.
She already had her demons,
That screamed out above all.

Watch closely ladies and gents,
As you see the inner struggle
Written on her face.

And still you say nothing,
Ignore it. It will go away..

L o o k closely,
She's not winning,
You can see that her world is
Spinning.

Looking up from where she's sitting,
It's a whole new person,
She has lost this final battle,
No one seems to care.

She grabs that rope and ties it up,
Real high.
Makes that necklace fit just right,
Clears her throat one last time,
Says softly into the wind,
Game over, I have lost control,
Of my mind.
Pendragon Jul 2013
A beautiful angel has been called home,
I already miss her so.
Even though we were miles away,
In my my heart she always stayed.
And now she's gone,
I never said goodbye.
I'll never forget all the trips,
To her house.
And all the silly things she said.
She was quite the ballsy,
Lady always spoke her mind.
I know she's up there watching over us all.
Probably giving everyone in heaven a run
For their money.
And giving my grandma hell,
For leaving so soon.
God too this angel, to end her pain,
And now she can walk again.

R.I.P Aunt Arlie,
You are loved and already missed
Pendragon Jul 2013
All I want to do is sleep,
I know there's something wrong.
So very, very wrong.

I am dizzy all the time,
I'm always in a fog.
Something is really wrong.

I should see a doctor,
I'm really quite scared.
I have a decent idea,
About what's going on inside.

I'm terrified of the possibilities.
But something is very very wrong.
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