Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
EmperorOfMine Dec 2020
3 %
Declining, the battery goes
My mind, in the clouds, where nobody knows
Descending into the everlasting longing to sleep
I'm losing my patience to count all of my sheep
I ponder, in my still, when will the world finally go to sleep


It's been alive so long
Churning in pain
And speaking in song
A place we live, but a place that tries to resist
I just ponder, surrounded by the white noise and loved ones around me.

And then I move on, because my computer is about to die.
EmperorOfMine Nov 2020
Hm
IF there are entities that are supernatural, do they ever lurk within our shadows?
Do they ever mock our smiles when we glance in the mirror?
Do they take away the life in our eyes, behind that glimmer?
Why hasn't one approached me?
Do I intimidate them, or do they approach me silently?
Are they always sinister, or can they also come benevolent?
Can they actually take away a soul?
I find it easy to believe they exist, simply because I believe life creates many possibilities
.
But does that mean that magic exists as well?
If God is not real, and we have no real meaningful purpose in this reality, why are we limited by an accidental creation of the everexpanding space?
What is space expanding into?
How far can it go?
Will it eventually collapse on itself?
Does the black hole get bigger with each thing it consumes?
If this is a simulation, what is the purpose of it and why?
How come in such a chaotic reality, so many things appear to be stable?
Where does our actual life come from, and is it possible to create it artificially?
Could we produce a synthetic human with artificial life compounds?
EmperorOfMine Nov 2020
Basically,

i feel like this year went by so fast and yet it's also felt like a century
both of our finals in the ballots were bad
so many unrepresented catastrophes are happening as we speak
it feels like we are approaching the end of life as we know it
education is necessary, but the education system is a ripoff
equity is more appropriate than equality, however, is it possible to have equality because of equity?
toy story came out 22 years ago
**** is actually a really cool herb, that can be consumed in so many ways
*** is overrated
relationships are slowly being demonized and selfishness is romanticized
humility does not simply equal donations or good deeds, nor is it just only accepting you flaws and red flags
we aren't even promised the very next moment, yet somehow we've pushed that so deep into our subconsciousness that we continue to live with this blind faith of a tomorrow. If you stop everything you are doing and you close your eyes, in an atmosphere of no distraction, you can slowly wash away every thought that you may have or want to create, sinking into an abyss of nothingness. Notice that you and your body are doing so many things right now without you actually being in control of any of it. There is no emergency button to power down because we are innately programmed to live forever unless destroyed by something. Your breathing is calm, traveling through your body, out of your nose most likely. Focusing on your forehead, and then behind that, deep inside your head, it's your conscious, just here, floating in the void in your mind. Unable to really do anything but influence you, like a machine, until you die. We're kind of like projects that our souls made, sims characters that live a whole life, and then after they expire, their experience is viewed and judged by the higher power, judging our souls artwork like a class assignment. If you pass, you get to graduate upward. If you fail, you fall forever downward, kind of like life now.

This **** is scary...tbh
EmperorOfMine Nov 2020
I told someone exactly what I meant
Taking away a privilege because I realized my worth
Humbled by my mistakes and the person in the mirror
I noticed that after all those tears last night
Those life-changing temptations in a blur
Behind those evil voices destroying my character
I made it home, and I made some food
Despite feeling hungry
I didn't want to live another day any longer
But I spoke to someone about my classes and future
I set up a counselor for myself
DESPITE all that, I went to work
I want something,
and it hurts to not have it right now
But I haven't lost hope
Despite being dragged around time and time again
I wake up with almost childlike faith the next day
Subconsciously, I know I am protected
I got up and I started my day
and now I’m here, mellow
Knowing I could lose everything
Be all alone
But never alone
And having everything
Because I'm here and I'm determined
I'm happy
Feel alive.
EmperorOfMine Nov 2020
I noticed something that I wish I didn't...
And now I have to leave
before I stop feeling the adrenaline.
EmperorOfMine Nov 2020
Is there something wrong with me
For me to be punished as I am?
Gifted with sincere love after high school, but before I was alone
Lacking the social skills those years were meant to teach me.
Only ever to experience one one-sided romance, hardly tempted to call it a real relationship.

Still, utterly single...but I can handle being so.
I simply don't want to.

With each passing year
I feel like a beautiful peacock
With each feather plucked by the year
For each time i failed to find my mate.

But when I let down my feathers
And I try to go about it naturally
I am unseen...

To be named beautiful
appealing
good looking

yet to be treated like I am just a temporary good moment


I'm crushed
because I know my worth...

but just because I do
that only leaves it one-sided

I can be without a phone, but if I am surrounded by a sea of those with one, no one will notice me.

I feel like a ghost
who wants to be seen...

How ironic is it to be a hopeless romantic who lacks that?
EmperorOfMine Nov 2020
I can feel myself dying, gradually, declining in my competence

I'm scared, to die alone, to live alone...
Withering amongst the white noise, surrounded by the stories of the wandering.

I've noticed all the souls I've felt myself calling for...are all calling on to someone else; some even caught and carried through.

I'm scared.


Is there something wrong with me?
Am I just too different of a fish in this polluted sea?
Covered in debris, I'm sorry...

I can't tell anymore.
I thought I was ok; counting my working limbs, every working sense...

I have a lot to give. Love, care, loyalty, authenticity...

I'm healthy, alive, with a passion or two...


I am enough...right


right


idk anymore

but here i am...i guess
after I left his house...i began to wonder...
Next page