You will never be free
from me

You will live forever
in me

You will be dead but
I will maintain your corpse
so well, with super great care
while waiting for Isa to
come back --

Well, the truth is
you have died
(too many times)
but you resurrect
again and again and
I don't mind you
tearing off the butterflies' wings
because they still can
walk
and tickle this fatty stomach

Whatever it is!
Even when you find hate in whatever
Do not worry, for you are Jesus
The Savior
You are God

You are Jesus!
You are God!

The Unnamed Woman's perfume
still lingers on your feet
and
I believe in you

I believe in you

"... Blessed are those who believe
without seeing me." (John 20:29)

even when I see contradictions
and injustices
even when you, when I, be
the contradictions and
the injustices --

You will never be free
from me
You will live forever
in me

Mince me
Mince me
To small pieces
Small, small, tiny pieces
From toe to head
From toe to head
From ******* toe to head
I need to know the agony
I need to know hell
I need to suffer more, more
Most
So I could write about it
So I could write about it
So I could write about it
And make hearts bleed
And make faces waterfall
And make hearts bleed
And make faces waterfall

Rain
Rain
It will rain
And your first love won't stop wearing violet

Your blue-greenish voice
Flaming red
marshmallow tongue
Long fingers
Short nails

Earlobes
Letters, letters, letters,
burning

Rain
Rain
It will rain
And the wind won't stop singing with your voice

The nape of neck
Soft lips
Warm breath
Marked skin

Fainted red
broken promises
Meaningless words

Rain
Rain
It will rain

You talk so much but say none

A Randy is not enough
so I've been gifted two.
I have two Randies.
One on my left eye,
the other on the right.

Their colors are dark brown.
So dark, so close to black
you would not be able to tell.
But I know them,
my two Randies.

They are older than me
but I was here first.
Even I knew it when
God was born.
Just like how the bible says it,
God is an
illegitimate child.
God was thrown away
by the Mother of God
and the Father of God
didn't really care about
anything.

Heaven was a warm orphanage
but then God felt so lonely
and the angels were way too boring.

God had such a hard time
practicing to create Adam.
But God was happy.
And God created Eve.
But God made them leave.

God was happy.
Not anymore.

So God created two Randies
to be put on my eyes.
God hoped that the Randies
would help me to see
what I am going to create;
would it make me happy or sad?
But God forgot
to grant me
the power of creation.

So here I am.
With two Randies on my eyes,
dark brown, so dark, so close to black
you would not be able to tell.
But I know them,
my two Randies.

They are the ones
who block my view.
I once did see but now am blind.
My two Randies.

Get them off of me.
Get them off of me.

But I am too scared
to
let them go.
They would die
when they are separated from me.
My two Randies
are God's gift.
God would be angry
if I throw away such a thoughtful gift.
God would be angry
and I am scared of it
even though I existed first.

Seniority
doesn't really work here.

You have no idea
of how poetic it is
to eat a great load of junk food
while thinking about life.
---

I once tried to
keep a healthy lifestyle ---
eat an apple a day
avoid junk food
wake up early
shower two times a day
know my limit of caffeine
go out with friends
listen to popular music
live as a teen
and other ******* ---
in case I live long.

It is raining but
I am not remembering
you, not anymore --

I knew two Randy's in my life
The first was Regina's older brother
I remembered I once saw his photograph
But first glimpse wouldn't stuck so long in my head
So I would tell you about Regina instead
She was a dancer and she cooked well
I once was in the same class as her
She used to bring her cookings to school
Healthy meals but enormously delicious
Not that I have had eaten it before;
I am just exaggerating --

Her parents wanted her to be a doctor
But she didn't know what she wanted to be
So let's forget it because
I, too, don't really care about her

Her name reminded me of another Regina
We were strangely quite close on Junior High
This Regina had cute teeth and pretty eyes
And her laugh made me happy
She was the leader of Journalistic Club
And I regretted I had not joined the club
Not because of her, but
Because I remembered that later on Senior High
I wanted to be a journalist --
Not anymore

The second Randy was an actor
I watched a play and found him
So mesmerizing, his presence was so consuming
His acting felt so real or perhaps it was
He was afraid of death, so afraid
Even though it was because of his own doings
He was the one who betrayed himself and the world
He was the one who did it all
He shouldn't be afraid of such hatred
Because he was the hatred
He was the hatred

Then off stage
I saw his mother and how proud she was
To see her son had played so well
She didn't know what was
Really happening
She was going to be betrayed by her own son
And her son wouldn't be able
To escape that fate
Being the hatred
Being the hatred ----


I knew two Randy's in my life
The first was Regina's older brother
And the second was the hatred who played actor
And I don't think I want to know more;
There were enough Randy's already --