I am a bible!
I haven't thought about it
But God had said so ---

I didn't know it is really possible
To laugh and cry at the same time
Without an exact cause

I think I am insane
But he told me I am not
But he didn't really know what
We were talking about

It was about me and me and me
How many me's?
I will count it later like the stars not the stairs
Fail and fail oh I can't even turn the lights on

The water tastes funny
The world is so funny today
Today is the right day to
**** all the catcallers in the universe or
Just ask God to dance something
(Don't you think that Heaven has its own traditional dance too?)
Or we can watch a grand, glorious
Dance battle
Between Michael and Lucifer
Then watch Maria and Joseph slow dance;
It would be fun
Trust me
And the best of all
We won't run out of good wine
(Yo, Jesus!)

Oh, I can't believe you!
Why don't you laugh?
I can't believe you are
Not laughing
You don't even cry! How boring;
How boring --
The heaven would get mad
So mad, so mad like Sylvia
Or Khadīja or Rebekah
Or don't ask me who they are!
Do you even really know who you are?

I think I am insane
There was a time when I am
Really sure that I am, but
Then I learnt that truth was not that simple --

He said, just like him, I think too much

What do I think?
I think I am insane
But he told me I am not
But he didn't really know what
We were talking about

Tris

Unconsciously
The name
That
Tris


Let me remember you
At times I don't want to the most


Clearly
The blurry image of
Parking lot
Motorcycles and cigarettes
Dim light
I saw a star or two or three or
Four


Let me remember you
At times I don't want to the most


Poetry reading
The emotions, the voice, oh, tempo
The tap of the right foot
The wide smile that supposed to hurt
Disability in the arts
Cry it out! Cry it out!

She cried on the train
And had an old man told her
It will be okay
O, how jealous I am

I had to wander on the blurry forest
Of motorcycles and cigarettes
With dim light and foreign faces
I couldn't not care about how I looked
But
Blank mind --- Hollowed self ---
I have had the soul fly to search for you
A minute was enough and a part of me died
She saw the tears and the halved smile
And she completed it
With or without
What could it do for good?


Let me remember you
At times I don't want to the most


Do you remember that song?
You said it was my favorite which
I couldn't sleep without listening to it ---

That evening I wanted to
Be in your eyes


And this theatrical pain
Is killing me
Slaughtering me like a goat


O, those special effects! Brava!

You died in the middle of the sentence
O, slashing sound, how refreshing!
O, ocean breeze, I can feel the salt
filling the pores of my scratched skin
How adorable is the blue, blue, blue
O, when you fly and fly and the blue turns into emptiness ---
The outer space, my dear! So black;
So black no sky could squeak through
You died before you'd seen the stars!
-----

Smashed soul and come back to Mama
The womb is no longer your place
But you can decorate it all the way you'd like!
What is mine is yours, except
for the pain and wounds --- But you
can collect the scars like butterflies or the postage stamps or -- what is it again?
What is it again?
What is mine is yours, my dear,
come back home to Mama

The warm soup is now cold
I'll add the ice for you if you want it colder
I'll add my heart to it if you want it coldest
What is freezing but not frozen?
What is it? What is it again?
What is mine is yours, my dear,
come back home to Mama

Your loud breath
Cold hands
White eyes
Unseen groping
Peeling skin

The gold walls
Booming ticks
Volcano heart
Unnamed quakes
Crumbled skull

It is the song of the lost children. At night they come to your sleep. They can love you till you bleed. Just wait for it. You call them nightmares, horrible dreams, but you are their sweet one.

You are their bedtime story. Every single night. The same story being told over and over again. The exact same words. The exact same you. Keep being repeated. On their starry eyes at day. On their twinkling lips at night. On their meals and toilets.

You are their sweet dreams. That's why tooth fairy hates you.

Your loud breath
Cold hands
White eyes
Unseen groping
Peeling skin

It is the song of the lost children. At night they come to your sleep. You wake up yet they come again. They have always wanted to love you till you bleed.

The gold walls
Booming ticks
Volcano heart
Unnamed quakes
Crumbled skull

When you were six. They were the evil mothers crawling under the sofas. They made the air shift, softly whispered to your feet. They were the ones who made the screams.

Your loud breath
Cold hands
White eyes

When you were eleven. They were the gigantic spiders appeared from the toilet hole. They were the ones who ate your dad but didn't swallow that curly black hair of his.

Unseen groping
Peeling skin
The gold walls

When you were seventeen. They were the train wreck. They made your dad has to stop the car. It was too dangerous to move. Another crash was coming. And they were the ones who made your dad step on the wrong pedal.

Booming ticks
Volcano heart
Unnamed quakes

It is the song of the lost children. At night they come to your sleep. At day they are the invisible shackles around your ankles.

Crumbled skull
Crumbled skull
Your loud breath

Oh, I am sorry. It seems that the song doesn't really have an

Cold hands
White eyes
White eyes*

end ----

The blue is getting smaller
And the moon
Can no longer be pointed at
All I see
Is your finger
Fading with the air
And the flesh
Is all eaten by time
It shall fail
Along with the heart
As the bones
Composing weird music
But candy
To the ears
And the eyes
Can no longer see
And the mortal
Life shall cease
And the eternity
Can no longer be
Denied

For I once did see
Now I am blind
For I once was found
Now I am lost
O, how sweet the sound!
How precious did the grace appear
How precious did the grace appear
How precious did the grace appear

I am so young
Yet so strong
Strongly salty
Like the seawater
Strongly lazy
Like the wind

I am dull
As a knife I don't have worth
Even pen can stab but I cannot
I am the seawater; I am the wind
I don't need to explain my worth to you

Every morning I wake up with poetry
On the tip of my tongue
On every clip of my nail
My fallen hair
The dead cells on my bed
My greasy face

I open my eyes with poetry
This heart beats in poetry
These erythrocytes carry poetry
I breathe poetry
I live in poetry
I do not need words
Not all poetries are words
And that's enough