Do you ever really let go
Of someone you once held
As if when they left
You felt a part
Of yourself
Close
Building up walls
So you won't feel exposed
And ignoring how tall they've grown,
A happy smile
But beyond that
Yields so much pain
I collapse on the thought
That this may never go away.

You ever want to die
Just to feel something
You ever want to feel?

If i could find my soul
I'd ask if it would grow
And free me of this body
That always finds misfortune
Sometimes I wish I was alone
More alone than you can imagine
Sometimes I feel so much sadness
That not even tears could ration
Sometimes my thoughts are not passion
But bleak ideals
That take hold without asking
Sometimes I wish it was only
Sometimes
But sometimes is forever passing.

I wonder way too much
I'm distracted by the thought of us
And what it used to be
The blood that fell originally
Now pooled
With no echo of distrust
Or hesitant desire
We were all that we could be
Until we weren't

Sometimes I think
Could the sun be too bright
Or could this all be a fault in my mind
Just gravitating towards the light
That I've designed
To heal
But maybe it's not real
Could my mind tell such lies?
Or have I just disguised
My sadness.

I am everything wrong
With myself
I am
My worst fears
And my doubts
If it wasn't for me
Maybe I wouldn't hate
Everyone else.

Why do I feel
When I'm so lost
My thoughts
Are what makes me want
To give up
If I only held my tongue
Maybe all my wrongs
Would be right
But the serpent inside me
Doesn't trust
Anyone.