It feels so good
To be
Into you.

My eyes are heavy
I know I need to close them soon
Its so painful to think
Of all thats happened
And I wonder
When will we find our way out
Of the dungeon.

Self care
Gotta have that sweet self care
I don't know
That phrase could be tattooed to  my forehead
But I fight it out
I stand behind a monitor
Trying and trusting my voice
The sound of Om within me
Becoming and growing
Becoming and growing.

I had the thought today
When I looked myself in the mirror
Short blonde hair
Green vivid eyes
And I thought
"If I wasn't who you wanted then, then I never will be."

Bed.
its time for bed
What a challenging, dark time.

I hope its all gonna be okay.

Better, even.

Why you try that mama?
I thought everything was kind of okay
Why'd you try that mama?
I thought everything was gonna be okay.

Why'd you look little son
Little brother in the eye
Just to say you wanted to drown
In the pool we use to play
Why'd you try to leave us mama?
Don't you have a reason to stay.

You gotta be strong now mama
You gotta come outta this fighting
For yourself
For me
For us
For the token in your belt
Thats frosted flakes
Full of candy colored ripe vines
Reminding you and all of us
Of the big open heart you have
You gotta do whatcha gotta do mama
To keep breathing, humming
Singing the tune you've always sang
Rabbits nest
Sweet rabbits nest

We all need you to dance
And fight
To stay.

I've been up since around 5
Day 3, back in that Chitown summit
Mama and Papa
We dunno
We dunno
We dunno
Figure it out
Figure it out
Figure it out.

Its Thursday
Summer is here
And I think its here to stay.

I drift in and out
Into the newness
The relief
Of releasing the exhaustion
And I see photos of you now
Honey Bear
And you look so tired
So old.

I suspect I'm different too
We snap, snap, click, click
Free of the critique
At long last.
I'm sorry I made you think
That was a necessity.

I sat on black leather
But I consume only vegetables
Beans
And I drank down my whiskey
Laughing lightly, or hard
My name from someone else's lips
But I keep it casual
Casual.

Time to go back out into the sun
Been up since the early hours
"Kick *** launching your app today babe."
I typed it, so swift
Time to go
Time to go
With wings she glides through time and space
My card read last night
In a circle of women.

It was at one point
The flight of fancy free
I'm able now
To think in resolution
Of when I wore a sparkly blue skirt
Wild wigs
Rolling into The Electric Forest sunshine
And my forest love, I think he musta gone
Gone and done it
Because I moved on
And fell into a love
I couldn't fathom really reaching.

But I ******* tried
I gave it everything I had
With all my mighty might
And like a switch blade
I see the graffiti on the walls
Of the old Philadelphia building
Running around town
I return to that girl
That woman
Clicking wildly
Lets record everything
I don't have the answers
And I wanted to find out
Who would stand next to me, solidly
But I just don't know
Its not in the cards
Not now.

So I stand next to myself
Like a xylophone
That I use to play
In the same uniform colored shirts
As all the little boys and girls
Around me swirling
Let me sing a solo
I got one line
And I ******* lived for that ****.

So swap, flip
Me right back into
The arms, we tower
And lick each other down
With what I'm sure we've both been through
But the pain doesn't fester
I befriend it
Into the wild trample
Of being a modern woman.

We open and close
The windows of our legs
Like a reframe
Starting, repeating
Echoing into the light
Or the depth of the darkness
A slip taken away
Red shreds in a plastic cup
Iron out our futures
Slap us back on to
The factory mat
As we hike up our skirts
And flaunt our femme glory.

Sun is out shinin' shinin'
I remember when
I poured myself into a glass of lemonade
That then, became my title
Warm in the Chicago sun
Folding manila envelope after
Manila
Envelope
I cooked lots of
Brussel sprouts
Especially peppers
Slept on a blow up mattress
Braided my hair like I gave a ****
Drank up all the newness
And the sense of relief
And wild magic
To just fully revisit and live inside
My life has returned
In a full spectrum.

Jump from thing to thing
Little breaks in between
I calculate and wonder
I calculate and wonder
But then again **** it.

Like being pulled into
A mirrorless flood
With perfectly heated
Calculated movements
A breath of fresh air
Twirling me into
Oh baby
Oh baby from a new man's lips.

We slip into our whiskey covered kisses
Peck into the sunshine
I trot on
Ignoring the invisible feeling
Of dirt under my finger nails
I showed him how they glow in the dark
In the wee hours of the morning
I stop the conversation about work
Because I just want some lovin.

Its hard to write about you
I smoke ringlets into the sunshine
And defer myself to the independence
I *******
Over and over again.

Today is a day
Where I feel like my family is cursed.

Today I am tired
The sun is going down
I had a bigger kick in my step this morning
Mama always cries at lunch
Papa told us yesterday that if he came back
He would probably just leave again
And every time I see photos of you
And I realized your sister and her husband
Removed me as a friend from social media
My heart sinks
And I spend a few hours
Reassuring myself.

I don't know why its this way
I'm not sure why I feel like I have to tumble
To get back up
I saw your face and I thought
"Did I ever really love you?"

It is beautiful outside
My drive seems to have subsided for the moment
I have been feeling as though
I were made up of confetti
Confetti in the height of the air
As eager hands reach out
A sparkling clump clump
Seeking to compile it all
Into one vibrating core.

Core full of resilience
Core full of passion
Ambition
Determination
Empathy
Truth
Intelligence
Nuance
­And an unwavering talent
To get **** done.

I'm sorry
I'm sorry it didn't work out between us
I guess maybe you are too.

I'm still hurt and angry
And I think I might be
For the rest of my days.

But perhaps in time
This too
Will be like the time I fell
And skid my knee
In the Alabama sunshine
Only to rise back up
And keep riding.

There was a time
Where the lengths of the grass
Was my greatest solace
Until I discovered the humming
Of the pavement
That I hit and hit
With that aptitude of
A fever
Called endless ambition.

I think for a long time now
I've thought I know exactly what I want
But its been all shook up
Its all shook up
Folks ask me which one
Which one
And its like my brilliant brain
Morphs into an open desert
I see hay stacks wheel past
Cacti lone and whispering
And I think and say out loud in real time
The noise of color whirling all around me
"I really don't know."

The crickets in the midst of the heat
I thank the slips of sharp grass
The bugs that nip my city girl skin
My hair combed and short
I float, fly
Relaxing at last, tonight.

At sweet long last
No expectation, pressure
I teach myself how to just enjoy
The attention of a new man
While focusing so solely on myself
My endeavors
The fulfilling moments
I give and strive for
Within the blood and dust
Of my own soul
My own hopes.

"I know how powerful you are."
The past should have inked it into
The crook of my skin
And a flurry of memories
All equal parts sugary, beautiful
Gone
All gone
Walking up the stairs of the
Upper school
So well received
I thought
Everything looks the same
Nothing's changed
Except for me.

It's not even you I long for anymore
It's just the continuation of the surrender that it's long gone that remains.

You know what I remember
I remember how ugly you looked the night that I left you
I remember how you hurt me in the moment I needed you most
I remember how you couldn't let up
I remember how the weight of your body felt on my vulnerability
I remember all the times I tried to convince myself
We would overcome.

That's what I remember.

The dinging of our grandfather clock
The quiet whistle of the southern wind
In these times, in this particular time
I often feel isolated and alone.

I do, take things very personally
But it is not without reason
And I hope that as I continue
To root into the earth
Those fears and feelings
Will casually fall away.

Ain't nobody gonna really be able
To have my back
As much as they say they will
And stand next to me with power
I shoot my arrows into my own reflection
Because I know thats all I can do.
At least for now

It is quiet in the old big house
The house where my room felt so large
A treasure trove
Of discovery and nuance
I imagine bodies huddling together
Intertwining within the sheets
How my mother must feel
After 35 years in the same old house
In the same old bed
And I wept a little bit today
At the damage all of this has done.

I think of you
But too, less and less
Asleep somewhere
In your perfectly premeditated
Surreptitiously calculated
Home and head.

I brought out a wooden knife
And attempted to carve a singular, small
Spot into the heels of what belonged to you
At first with perhaps thoughtless eagerness
You welcomed me in
Only to help me pack my bags
And subconsciously push and shove
Me out of your perfectly premeditated
Surreptitiously calculated
Home and head.

I know, I know
You never meant for me to go away forever
But I want to.

I hope my father doesn't
Perhaps they will figure it out
In the heart of Winn Dixie
Where nothing but classic rock plays
I held my mother today
And I thought

I've never felt more present.

Lights out and off
Within the large wooden house
Mama so angry, so hurt
My eyes look so large these days.

I noticed the lack of
My fathers presence
As we ate lunch
Empty seats all around us
At the kitchen counter
For dinner
With a glass of wine
And we spoke on the phone
Tears welling in my eyes
Knowing your cheerful footsteps
Were not going to be wandering
Into the house
My mother pacing all around
Like a cat in a cage
And I half expected
And heard your voice
Throughout the kitchen
The den
The dining room
But not now.

I'm not sure what will happen
I typed and deleted a text
To my now ex lover
Drunk on my own thought last night
And there is just something not right
About how much I must witness this
But this is what my life is right now.

She often refers to Savannah
As so sweet
But mama
You weren't very happy then either
And you told me things then too
I never needed to know
And it seems as though
Our heartbreak has coincided
And I remind you our stories here are different
Just because mine ended
And I'm glad it did
Doesn't mean we are the same.

I may have not found my person
But I sure have been loved
A lot a lot
By many many men.

Everyone that I've ever been with
I fell in love with
For a singular moment in time
Because thats how fiercely I commit
Invest, give
And then I've broken from
What became my own
Self inflicted cage
And released them
Only to have them return later in time
To give me love
And feed them with some short sweet truths
Making my mark on them last
For forever and a day
Until the time comes
Where I don't love and release

But for now
I let it swoop and sweep
Right through me
Knowing my greater purpose
In this very short
And very long
Life.

Lets go right back
To the place
Clad in bones and history
Bonnets & debutante gloves
Greenery surrounding me
So irrevocably mine
Between the thistles of the pine
Or the roll of hay
I stood atop
Riding a black motorcycle
Alone
Abandoned from behind
My hair now short
Wavers into the windy city wind
Grounded in my own authenticity.

I remember so vividly
Every bit and piece of the life I've lived
It all replayed like a haze
The night you told me
You didn't want to have children
You didn't want to have my children.

A reinvention
I glance at the quote on my wall
Uttered by my best friend
Who I'll always believe you must have been
A bit threatened by
Me and my backwards way of doing things
A pen and ink
You called my fake
And those words will never leave
The sound of a haunting.

Walking on tombstones
I pick up new ways
Filter through the vintage antiques
Or the laughter of a home
My mama tells me more than she should
Though her voice has grown frail
And I keep on.

Since you didn't have the courage to watch me leave
A new man appeared
As a major door slammed shut in my face
Seven little ones opened
And I know you don't harbor any ill will
But I can't and won't be thinking
Of you with fondness
Not now.

Its the little moments of happiness
In the stream of the Alabama abyss
I'll go home
I'll go home
To the place
That I was so eager to leave
I'm so different now
Everything is so different  now

And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

No one really knows what to say to me during this time
And it doesn't really matter
How many emotions I go through
I did the thing to my utmost
And yelled cut when I sensed
It was the end of the end.

Everyone seems to have their somebody
And my somebody did nothing but let me down

And now it is
I don't think you ever really knew me
Or loved me for me
Ever at all.

It brings me a quiet
****** sensual
Rhythmic
Satisfaction
That I scooped my body up
My pair of green eyes
Out away from your hungry
But never willing
Grip.

And now you have to live the rest of your life
Without it
And without me.

At the sink of a bathroom
Big white sweatshirt
I censored out my *******
Once I realized I forgot
The humming and buzzing of the internet
The face of Scream behind me
We made brutal love
And then he/she/them
Stabbed me repeatedly
But it wasn't even frightening, no
It had a sense of a new beginning
The start of a start
I screamed my most cinematic scream
A movie star
And woke up in my bed
To the Chicago sun shining today
And this morning I spoke some logic
And then let myself

Weep and weep
For the loss of you
Us
And
Know deep in my gut
I gave it my best shot


Thats all there is left to be said
I gave it my best shot.

Faux fur
Strapless bra sliding down
Been a day been a day
We ride off into the night
And I revisit an old band
That once claimed so much
Of my heart
I remember
Like head banging
Against a frosted pink
Southern sunrise
And adult me wonders
And finds
I think I'll be sad for a long time
This one didn't work out.

But off we go
Again and again
But it's all different this time.

My God
I've been through so much
I've seen so much
Blink 182 blares
A favorite old tune
I think back to 15 year old me
Cut it all off
Begin again
Make new decisions
Coast
Hit the pavement
It's always been you babe
Remember
Sweet nostalgia

It's always been you girl
Woman
Kick it up and out.

I don't know when I'll be able to love again
I texted my mama
My eyelids feel so heavy
From the onslaught of constant
Waves of spiraling emotion
And my empathy falls shorter these days
Because this is the worst
Of the worst.

I wrote a lengthy poem
About the past as it comes to a halt tonight
Smoking sticky ****
Numbing the plethora of feelings
"I will never give up. I will never give up. I will never give up."
My mother sends me long text messages tonight
Alone in the wood of a deep dark house
And you expect me to high five you?

The cluttering and snapping of closing doors
I can imagine the lights dimming out
For the final time
Swirling candy cane *******
Sniffing with huge wild grins
The mildew breathes and smokes right in
Lip sync battles, carrying on into the night
I disappeared at the epitome of my flight
At that moment
And from that. To then. To this.
Lightning strikes outside my window
I have a girlfriend that I know
Wearily closes her eyes tonight
I thank my stars
My fate is no longer in the hands
Of some whiskey baited breath
The scratching of a record player
That was mine, I entrusted
And they all sing and swing
Their goodbyes and Peter Pan movements
Tonight
The little Brotel
Filled with little people with little dreams.

I tell my mama to sleep well
Onward
In the big wooden house
Where we breathed
And discovered our youth

And the truth of the matter is this:
I spent all of my youth
Chasing and being chased by boys.
I held a camera in my hands
And no one ever told me to pursue it
I focused all of my attention on whatever it was I did
And I always was sure to be the best at it
I made being in love a job
I wore a white dress
I wore a constant white dress
You saw my movie

Didn't you see I want everything?
And fled from everything?

Here is what you have to understand
Every day
Every other day now
Because calling everyday is too painful
My mother croaks into the phone
About what she would do
To have my father back
She reveals details
On her most recent tactics
To try and complete that task
My hair grows longer
I long to chop it off
I contemplate the next bit of skin
I'll ink
Rearrange my room
My insides
Every bit
To try and make it all feel new again.

The weather outside likes to howl
I've never been one for it
I long for the sun
The promises of a better day.

You email me to essentially wish me well
I think
But never quite clear about what it is
You still seek
I need my best friend now more than ever
And she is states and states away
And it reminds me
Of when I first moved here
Putting away glasses
Sniffing in
I know this feeling I thought
I know it so well
I'll get through this

I remember sobbing between bites of egg
Feeling like an entire party of people
Turned against me
Because they did
And tonight as they celebrate their last night
I wave goodbye to yet another love life.

I don't know why
I'm not sure
But I try to create space
For happiness
For positive change
My girlfriends, we all ache
At the same time it seems
And I don't feel envy over what I don't have
I know this path is all my own
I know this path is all my own

But you weren't there
You set me
My mother opened the door for my father
And though I am angry at him too
I know how he must feel.

You wished me to be safe
You stayed in your bed
Didn't even watch me go
You set me free
Only to see
I was not coming back.

I think I'll wear all dark clothes today
Because I thought you were gonna be there
At the tip of my fingers
For my ups
My downs
And you too
Disappeared
Out into the gray blue
Never to return
By my side.

I thought you were gonna be the one that stuck.

It feels like a sigh of relief
To take it and release
Cute smiles and eyes
At a new party
A whole new slew of people
Community
And I enter into contests
Grant submissions
Because I think and I feel
Something
One of these
Has got to happen.

I heard phrases and words
From my first film often
It's cold out
Every morning I wake up
Haunted by dreams
Trying to make sense or relive  
What we lost
"And you looked so pretty"
He said
I wore my white cape shirt
Because I know it's a power move.

You told me
"You look like you could be somebody famous"
When we walk, bop around
As to what I got stares or approached
In the sunshine
We were at our best on vacation
And as I scrubbed my bathroom floor today
Picking up and out
What once was
I thought
The week days were a gray filled torture, locking me down and influencing me
With whatever your mood
And in those moments
Where you became a monster
It was no longer worth it to me.

Shy new smiles
Longing for some more of those new wet kisses
I tread lightly
Carefully
Selfishly
I thought I had it figured out
But I think of the night
I started to buy a bathing suit
Larger than life carpets
Heated in Macy's
And how you almost sent me home
And yet still,

I was willing to compromise
Surrender
Give

And none of it even really mattered in the end
I worry about those who might
Turn the other way
But I remember what brought me here
Who I am
The turmoil of home
How I feel with a camera in my hands
Or when I look radiant
And I'm glad

I'm so glad
You didn't even have the strength
To watch me go.

The mornings
The nights
And the middle of the day
Are the hardest
I still feel so sad
Disappointment is the largest
And most pointed word
That constantly comes to mind
That I, you, we
Spent all that time
To have it accumulate to nothing.

I remember when I pointed out
In between sips of champagne
That we had been together for almost a year
I'll never forget the way that you scoffed
Behaved as if it was a shock
And I dropped my head
A thousand and one more times
Because I thought I had it
I wanted to find it
And I look out the window on my own again

I don't know what anything is going to be
Chicago is such a sea
And I think if I had stayed in Philadelphia
Or cast my net out shorter
I bet I would have found something
I bet I too, could be settling down
Choosing and being chosen
And though sometimes I feel so exhausted by it all
I know this is what I gotta do.

I wonder what you do today
We would have been together
In the rain
Even just three weeks ago
I think of your pink face
Unable to shed my skin just yet
My mothers voice is gone
So hoarse
Remember my Mickey Mouse pretzel
I tried so hard
I tried so hard
I tried so hard
And still you pushed me
To write goodbye in lipstick.

I'm so glad I look like I sorta have it all together
Because on the inside absolutely everyone annoys me
And I'm always looking for the next best thing.

Never thought
I would
Drive into
Out
The opposite direction
Of you

Are you happy now?

I'll always believe you subconsciously
Wanted me gone.

And I guess
I did too.

Tonight
On this night
I'm very okay
And really happy
To just be
Me.

I've got the shaking power
That makes people cry
When I go

You'll never really fathom how much it hurts to have been wrong about the whole **** thing.

My mama and I both spend our nights
Without men by our side it seems
And there is a part of me that knows
I couldn't
I just couldn't
While she is
Where she is

11:23pm
I felt so tired before
I have a hard time putting my phone down in bed
I always have
But it's now my loneliest place

But I hope to embrace
Take up all my own space
Inhale, exhale
I busy my days
No time to really stop
I wonder about you
And talk quickly in the morning
Knowing how necessary it is
For me to go on
Rinse
Rinse
And go on.

The past two days
It has felt like a little hole
Revealed itself in my heart
And the phrase I once sung in my head
Like the chorus of a poppy emo song
"I dunno what I want"

And I don't.
But I recognize the cracks
That became too large to repair
I'm grateful for what I have built
How I have grown
And I acknowledge
My god I got a way to go
I'm trying
I'm trying
I wish I knew

But I just don't
Maybe I never did.

No matter how well I'm doing
Going to bed
And waking up without you
Is still the hardest part.

Remember when
We hopped on the red line trains
At different stops
Seeking to find each other
Until we did

But a different man kisses me now
A different man tells me Mondays get him
But with positivity
Another man kisses me now


And I float and drift
Alone

I called out this morning
Into the emptiness
Of my rearranged bedroom
Your
Our
My
Pet name
And you didn't come around the corner
To greet me
With your grizzly face

Today I miss you
I long for the moments
Where we behaved like infants
But I remember
Like whiplash
The hardships
And the pet names
And tears
Fade.

A golden light from the sun
Oozes in through the 8th floor windows
We take a siesta
My girls and me
Everything changed
Shifted so quickly
I think about what to wear tonight
Kisses in a different king sized bed
But I ain't rushin' nothin'
No I ain't got no room for a partner, no
Building bricks
Stacking hay
Stonewall
I don't build it with hate
Greed
But with a capacity for
Whatever is meant to happen.

Snapped at mama on the phone
She seems to skate in nothing but circles
Creating, making new habits
The weekends are the hardest
Because I would plant myself
So steadily beside you
And truth be told
I think you fully appreciated it
Until now.

But its much too late now
Much too late
Just a hair or three
Too late now bear bear
Just too
Too late.

I wrapped myself in a pale pink blanket
We will get ready to take on the night
Three career minded women sit at a table together
This is my life now
This is my life now

Wanting to skip past the sorrow
Mama and Papa take me back about
13 steps
Every time we chat
But I move
I move
I'll figure it out.

The trick now is to make friends with your absence

Remember when it was me
I was the one with the cute older boyfriend
Pictures posted
Celebrate
In the nook of our white sheets
I thought
I've got it all
I'm figuring it out
And then like the thunder
I imagine swirls
From time to time
Within the pulse of my wrist
It was all gone.

There is no changing it
No fighting
Gave it my best shot
So glad we ain't got no animosity
Needed and wanted that support baby
I don't know when everything will be okay again
No, I don't know
I don't know
But I write in a my favorite coffee shop
And wonder what's next.

It's always so painful to watch
And let someone go
I know if I could go back in time
I would tweak a thing or two
But there is no going back
I cannot reflect too much on the past
There is just moving forward.

I know we miss each other
I started to get very comfortable
Thinking we were of the same skin
I no longer needed to hunt or look
But I did start to crave a validation
Compliments
That you couldn't really seem to fully give me.

What's done is done
There is no going back now
Only moving forward
I worry for my mother
I cannot hold on
To anything energy sapping
I have so much to do
I have so much to throw myself into
And I did learn so much from you baby
I'll never forget that fact.

Airport coffee
People flash and whizz by
I don't like where I live
And even if I gave it a face lift
Perhaps I will
But it's all still so mine
I'm not gonna be okay for a while
But I welcome the discomfort
The not okayness
And I know most wouldn't be as strong
Most wouldn't hang on
But I'm not most.

Preparing for another weekend
Reinventing the wheel
That's what you use to say
I know I was such a force
A force to be reckoned with
I kick myself into high gear
But I also let myself wallow
I'm older and wiser now
There is no going back
No changing it
Only welcoming the pain
And moving through.

In this moment
Among the sips
Of my French Martini
And the tapping of a cellphone screen
I am lonely.

I felt a rush
A rush of so much
And I look to fill the holes
Where I would share
And all of these beautiful
People of color
Told me I have accomplished so much
So young
To keep going
Relationship talk
As if I know
I admitted the recent strife
35 years
Even almost 9 months
Is a long time.

In this moment
I take the time to say
I am kind of lonely
And I miss what I wanted you to be
And what you were so good at being
At times
At this moment
I have noticed
I have noticed
And it doesn't matter
No it doesn't
I have sushi
Lots of beautiful sushi
Move on Layne
Just keep moving.

You know what this means
Little one
Time to level the **** up.

There is so much
Silence now
But so much noise
Couldn't cope with
How hard it all was
You said once that any time
You have ever been in a relationship
It was a huge pain in the ***
Well maybe it's you.

It's raining out now
My swift kicks feel heavier
Let's simplify the day
Gotta get on another plane
You don't reach out anymore
I begged you to stop
I begged you to stop
More than once
And still you crawled on top of me
To tell me I was too much.

I know you are real sorry now
You pointed out my flaws
I took them on like a cross
I don't know that I'll ever forgive you.

It was me it was me
So much blame
Constant critique
Can't take anymore bad news
Can't take anymore bad news
Can't can't
So it all imploded around me
And I took off.

I awoke so soon
The flesh and spit
Submerging me under water
Coming back up for air
A passion that had since been long gone
To appear and drown me
Romantically.

Alone again
But not quite so alone
I wonder how you are
And I'm relieved it's done
I find myself tiptoeing
On the wordy pages
I tried to write us
Only to see now
How all of your stress
All of your anguish
It held me back
Like the whistle of a gun.

Rolling over into the darkness
Of a new bedroom
Dogs leap and give great shepherd kisses
I don't fear my independence
I revisit and hang onto it
Like it had been lost on me in the end
And I tell those I love
That the moment
You asked me to hit you
And I didn't want to stop
I knew I had
Had enough.

Feathered consent
I disappear under the wave
With a new man
Already
But only at my desire
At my expense
My choice
Walking the tightrope
Of exactly what I want
Once again.

How did it come and go
So quickly
The skipping beat
Of a pond
I think often about it
And often I don't
It's all wavering differently in my mind now.

Never meant to hurt you
Break you
Mama tells me no poor man is ever gonna make me happy
But I don't need to listen
I don't need to listen.

Nobody gonna fully get it
Gave you everything I had
But I see you for what you were now.

We slept under the hyde of an animal
Snoring into an oblivion
I can't wake up knowing
You aren't a part of my everyday
Anymore now
And I'm okay with that fate
But I don't need you remindin' me

It's not comforting to me
That you doin' the things we did
The I miss you I love you phase
Is no longer helpful
So I had to say go your own way now baby.

We thought we had it all
I think for a second
Remember when we first started loving
And you woke up to me in the throws
Of your window sunshine?

That will never happen again.

I believe deep in my soul
That you threw it all away

And I'm glad you did.