Onalenna Nkoketsang

Onalenna Nkoketsang Sep 2019

I watched you walk away
Never thought you'd leave me abandoned
I honestly wish I'd have fixed things and you'd stay
With me myself and I, I felt stranded
In a world so far away from anyone else
I was destructed by thoughts that never left my mind
Don't know what had me thinking you'd always be by my side

When I ask if you love me
Know your words before you lips break the way my knees Do at this side of you
Couldn't keep my heart and mind at ease
Remembering all the times we've spent together

Will you love her the same way you loved me
Will your face break open and eyes get filled with Diamonds when you talk to her
Will she hold your hand tight in fear that she'll loose you

Onalenna Nkoketsang Sep 2019

She

I was sitting on the train the other day
Watching each of my issues pass by while I'm looking out the window
Soon enough I found my reflection
I saw a girl, I saw a pearl
I stares for too long and she was gone
She reappeared and I looked into her big narrow eyes
Found death in her eyes
Deprived of her happiness
And left in the dry desert of loneliness

Well this girl sat in the corners of my mind
With her fingers intertwined and silent
**** was cold but she looked vibrant

I quickly closed my eyes and cleared my thoughts
Hoping she'd have faded into the thin air again
I'm so stupid for thinking she'd walk away

She's the only person that stayed when everyone else turned their back on me
She loved me when no one else did
She consoled me
Took care of my heart when life was tumbing down on me
She put me at ease when my heart beat out of my chest
She calmed me down when I thought I was loosing my breath

She has been there every step of the way, everyday
Anyway I owe her an apology
For trying to push her away

Onalenna Nkoketsang Aug 2019

Dear Crush

My definition of love
Is starring and finding the beauty in your canvas
The glitter in your bruised
And the cracks on the windows of your heart

I tried telling you I liked you
I swallowed my pride
But it clawed its way up
My oesophegus
And I spet it out like it was forbidden

I know I have nothing to loose when I look into your eyes
For I find true beauty in there

The way you have champagne in your walk
Is the the same way I get drunk in your footsteps
Your eyes are brighter than the sun shines unto me
I wanna be closer than your skin is to you

The other day kissed my neck
And I heard the angels calling out
My name
I love you the way the stars adorn the skies
The way the sun shines so bright
"I love you", those were my favorite words
That ever came from your mouth

Crush I'm sorry but I really really like you
And I want you to myself, I'm selfish I know

Constantly I found myself drooling over you
As I yern for your lips to run across my hips
I'm really to let you in to my world of desires

There's too many words and too many names
But yours is my favorite
Your words are a crack of lightning at night
Dangerous like a hurricane

Perhaps you could be my forever
You could be my beautiful distraction

Crush I am ready to love you
Just not ready to put a label
To whatever that's happening
Between the two of us
I grew into loving you
But one thing that's hindering me is to out
A whole label to this beautiful bond
That we have right here

He who makes me fell worthy of being loved..

Onalenna Nkoketsang Aug 2019

Shout Out To My Ex

Dunk me in a well of your love
And dry me with the sunshine in your eyes
Tell me you love me before you set lies
To my ears

I wasted my time
That I had invested in you
And I'm so naive
I blame myself for loving you
Loving you literally drained my happy
My happy turned into sorrow
And now I'm stuck here
Wandering about tomorrow

I hate you
For what you've started in me

You led me on and left me lonely in the bushes
That brutally hurt me
And created scars I never wanted

I'm so naive and stupid
For thinking you could love me better than I did
My inadequacy caused me pain
Not to mention my insecurities
That have already found the root in my heart

But it's okay
I will carry my deceased heart
To the coffin you made
Throw it into the hole that you dug
And cover it with the soil that you
Penetrated through

Onalenna Nkoketsang Aug 2019

To The Guy Who Thinks He Can Get To The Queen Between My Legs

My body is an art
Complements from you don't bother me
So these words hardly get to my heart
I'm not just a girl you met a few weeks ago
But I'm a queen of my own world

"You're beautiful" he says
You're so predictable
So typical
Apparently I'm supposed to believe everything you say
But I'm not gonna fall for it anyway

He held my waist and pulled me closer
He was plugged, I didn't know he was a stoner
Before I knew it he's hands were all over

I'm not just a girl you met a few weeks ago
But I'm a queen of my own world
I cannot allow you inside the castle
Not inside the lords temple
What would I resemble myself as

They will call me names
And start to saying things
But I'm a queen of my own world

I swear I swear, I cannot dare
To let you in
I have fears I cannot face
I have a voice I cannot raise
Because I'm just a queen of my own world

I'm not strong enough i know
But I'm strong enough to with hold the pian you brought
To my heart

All because you didn't listen when
I said my body is an art
I'm a girl
Of cause you'll think
I'm not smart
Because I'm a queen of my own world
Impearled by a thousand angels around me
A thousand worlds surround me
Crowds support me
They stand by me
Hand in hand
Because the understand

You took advantage of me
You broke my heart
And left it unband-aid
You dreamt of taking my virginity
My only little dignity left
Took my souls best
And left my heart to rest
You know I'm not just a girl you met a few weeks ago but
I'm a queen of my own world

Onalenna Nkoketsang Aug 2019

Lady In Red

I met her at the age of ten
I sat there and stared at her for a while
I was in fear, wondering who this unpleasant stranger was
Or how she got there

I was in absolute disperse
My tears then started rolling down the desert I call, my cheeks
Not knowing what to do I quickly rushed to my aunt
Informed her about the informal visitor we had

Since then I learned that I had to get used to her
I learned to understand her
But not one day has she ever made me feel
Good about myself

These days she visits with a warning
Before coming
When she pops up I abstain from white
On these beautiful legs
And she doesn't only leave a mark on my pants
But in my mind too
So I'll never forget the days she made me
Feel awful about myself

When she's here, she hurts me continuously
But on the inside where she hides all the time
She destroys my plans
And leaves me laying in a bathtub filled with red
Her favorite color

She has me confused of how I really feel
I get to fussy and restless when she's around
Around my waist is hee favorite place
Where she beats my walls down my thighs
And that's not alright

So this is me
At the age of sixteen
Still being bullied by the
Lady in red
She walks with so much pride
Yet fills me up with so much pain

Onalenna Nkoketsang Jul 2019

Dont keep your hopes too high

I hope that someday I will stumble upon someone
Who will start a fire in me, than can never burn out

I hope he's eyes will save me from the illusions of this world
He won't tell me about
How my intuition is nothing
But my insecurities
I hope he's honest
Mostly to himself

I hope he'll be perfect
Perfectly carved and handmade by
The lord from above
I hope hell bring do much warmth in my heart
And nothing but simplicity

I hope he's dark skin, brown eyes
And has a great sense of humor
A pure heart to love himself and I
Lastly, I hope that he puts God first
Before anybody else

I really hope its him