Unfortunately there's no light at the end of this tunnel
At least I got to learn that things will always stay like this
I keep having these convulsions
And trust me its not bliss
I try to find the little things during the day to make me happy
But the burden I am carrying is way too heavy
Nothing ever seems to be consistent these days
So I love curling up in my bed
Reading books and making up scenarios in my head

Often I find myself in a world I call my own
I wonder when this world will ever love me for who I am
Maybe I'm too weak to stand on my own
I can't deal with certain situations alone
I'm only just 16
Can't the world be a little less harsh
Can't it at least let me be me

I've grown into consoling myself
I wipe my own tears
I hope one day I'll be able to kold up my smile
Hope that all my fears will be gone

Let's hope tomorrow I'll be better

Afraid Of Myself
I smiled and said hi
I couldn't continue the conversation
For I felt my insecurities crawling up to my mind

I walked away and left her perplexed
I couldn't get help, my heart was way too congested
And before I knew it
The river in my eyes started flowing down the desert I call my cheeks
So then I knew I couldn't face the truth
I'll beat about the bush, failing to at least elude
I wasn't even persuasive enough
So I found a room and shut the door
I had a fear I couldn't face
A tear I couldnt erase
A memory I wouldn't embrace
And I sat there and stumbled across my perceptions
I didn't want to give her the wrong impression
So I unlocked the room and walked out
And just then I remembered that couldn't face my fears
And it really knocked me down
And until today I'm still this way
A poetic introverted mind is what I'd say

Rest in peace to my beautiful
My ugly passed away too

I grew in a paranormal world
I gave in to pain
But instead of enduring pain, pain endured me
****** the life out of me
With only only my bones helplessly floating on air
Barely touching the ground

I died didn't I
My life, I let it pass
Call me crazy but I ain't frightened by a corpse
But by a kind person

Last night I choked her
Thinking I'm saving her
Because to me pills didn't seem to be saving lives

My Wish List
I just wish things could go back to the way they were
Only if things could turn back to normal
But I guess im wrong

If I knew that we'll only love each other today
And become total strangers tomorrow
I'd never have taken the chance of letting ypubinto my heart
Not to be ignored the following day
My heart is aching in pain
Yearning for your love again
I'm not gaining but loosing 'cause of this stress

If only I knew you'd get me to open up
And unfold my untold like secrets written on a paper
I wouldn't have bothers talking to you
I wouldn't have let you into my world of desires
But I'm stupid right, I'll believe every word you say

If only I knew that if I looked into your eyes
I'd fall harder, I would've wished for a world with no gravity
Just so I could float back to the cliff
But your eyes have always been my favorite mirror
To define my exquisite self

If only I knew my heart would endure this much pain
And my mind would be so strained
I wouldve went out of my way to catch flu and not feelings
Because I could never get rid of my feelings for you
Its not that easy
Not after you've set a fire in my heart that'll probably never burn out
I just wish things could go back to the way they were

Her body is like poetry
Hand written
Carefully constructed for ones eyes to consume
Thick lips I'd kiss all day
Her eyes would always capture my attention
And I always got lost in them
Lost in their beauty
Her smile that eventually warmed my body
It had the power to control me
Console me
And mold me into a better me
Curved hips that looked like an African clay ***
Made to drink love out of
You'd instantly fall in love with her I swear
Her voice I'd listen to all day
A very warm melody
A great sensation