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A shot to **** the pain
A pill to drain the shame
A purge to stop the gain
A cut to break the vein
A smoke to ease the crave
A drink to win the game.
An addiction's and addiction,
Because it always hurts the same.
i'll find you under that sunset
where we first said goodbye
a bond that we formed-
two hearts full of ice,
we'd melt away in the summer
and be open to love
a friend that I fell for
an angel sent from above

you told me roses are red
and violets are blue
but winter soon came
and my heart tore in two
i promised to love you
and i did all that i could
until your very last breath
as i promised i would
the roses have wilted
the violets have died
the ice creeps back to me
as the light fades from your eyes

your wounds were exposed
your armour was cracked
my love couldn't fix you
(a skill that i lacked)
and you're under the ground now
your eyes closed for good
I'll see you soon darling
meet me in that wood-
where we kissed for the first time
and you said your goodbye
i'll see you by morning
sweet light of my life.
when i was little
i would always ask my momma
why she smoked
and looked at pictures of my dad
and it wasn't until I was older
that i realised
we go back to things that hurt us
because at least the pain
is familiar.
that is why i went back to you
My momma bought me some more of those pills
the ones that control my moods, keeping me sane
I only just opened them, took off the cap
didn't do anything, just swirled my finger around,
my thoughts consumed by the elegance of them,
the perfect roundness and sunshine yellow.
But then the dark thoughts came, like storm clouds,
as they always do around this time of the evening
and i heard them ask me, a hiss in my ear
now what on earth, could a girl like you do
with all of those
pretty
little

**pills
We're just a bunch of stupid kids. We pretend to know about love in the hopes that it will fill the gaping hole in our chests caused by the lead bullets of our parent's words or our friend's mockery. In truth we try to be mature and 'grown up' but we're not.  We're just 9 year olds stuck in a 15 year old body, trying to create a jigsaw but we've got missing pieces where our dreams should be and Reality has either hidden or destroyed all our aspirations that were so important when we were little. Now we're struggling through GCSE's and getting by solely on coffee to hide the lack of sleep, expected to decide our future when most of us can't even decide what to have for breakfast in the morning. I guess what I'm trying to say is...
We're just children.
I counted
10 planes
Go past my window
In the last
6 minutes
I wish I was
Headed somewhere
Too.
I only write well
When the sorrow
Filling my body
Swarms to my
Fingertips
And seeps out
Onto this page
Or gripping a razor.
There are thousands
Of ways
To feel pain
But I know only two
On how to
Deal with it.
(I) feel sad
A lot of the time
And I (have) so many
Doubts about whether
(To) bury my heart
Or (keep) it
With me
I am (trying) to decode
The echoes of myself
And I want to just
Give up.
One cut
Two cuts
Three cuts
Four
Come on now
Whats just one more?
Four cuts
Five cuts
And lastly
Six
Nothing bad
Its just a nick
Seven cuts
Eight cuts
Nine cuts
Ten
I have missed this
I last did it... when?
Cuts and scars
Across her legs
One day
I think
I'll wind up
**Dead.
 Feb 2014 Oliver Twist
Someone
Why?
 Feb 2014 Oliver Twist
Someone
Why?
One simple question
That can never be answered
Why?
All I want
All I've *ever
wanted
Was an explanation
Why don't you love me?
Why do you treat me this way?
Why?
Am I even capable of love?
I must not be
This is the only explanation I can come up with as to why
You scream at me
Why
When you see my tears
You laugh
Why?
Why can't I be loved?
Should I just give up?
Why
Why
**...Why...
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