Life is just a series of rooms
You spend time in
full of all the people
You shot grams or
smoked a dime with.
Full of all the people
You laid next to
to rest your head.
Full of all the people
Who would end up dead.
Life is just a series of questions
You gotta answer to.
Like how did God decide
On All the people
He gave cancer to?
Why some things you never had
Will be the best you'll never have?
Why all the good things in life
Gotta Hurt so bad?
Rooms full of questions in my head.

We all take pain
In its purest form
Straight to the vein
Tattered and worn
We are reborn

They say Saints are only sinners
Who kept on trying
But we're all dying
Trying to lick the sore

There is no good
No bad
There is No right
no wrong
We are what we are
Don't judge where we belong.

it is what it is.
And We all bleed.
Sounds like Equanimity
To me.

Read me with your eyes
Dictionary of silence
Pry me open past my lies
Past my anger and violence

A tiny girl who wants to cry
And watch the world pass by
Steady waiting for the ****
Like I was born with a license

To **** my self
Watching my dignity fall down
From its shelf
Up In my mind
Too busy chasing vanity,***, and wealth.

"The next feel good
Will be REAL good"
I kept telling myself.
But I was creepin to the deep end
Seeking death with a stealth.

Ignorance is bliss
and that's why you got the blues, baby.
Takes a lot of pain;
knowing better while you lose.
We all get straight, one day,
Or we get dead.
In discontent; by old age.
By ******. By lead.
Just remember, Like I said,
It's not their ignorance you choose.
You got them gettin better blues, baby.
gettin better blues.

Changing molds
so i can force myself
through a you shaped hole.
I cut myself Down
to the image that I think you see in me.
In the mirror I can't see myself,
Much less imagine actually being me.

Who am I?
Well, This is it.
I'm a mess and a misfit.
the one who's got it figured out
but really doesn't know ****.
I'm the people pleaser
who never gets what she desires
and then wonders why the emptiness continues to transpire.
I like to deny the fact that I'm a liar.
I like to create
comfortable places in my head
where feelings can go unfelt
and things can be left unsaid.

Just a million little pieces.
My faces.
switched off and on in different places. Different phases.
A million little pieces of you
and every one I knew.
Now I can't find who I am.
Just what I was in my memories.
I can't decide who i was
ever even trying please.

At ease.
I pray for God
to break me down to my core.
To give me strength to stand up
For the things I love and adore.
To never hide behind lies,
sit back and slip
Right through your fingertips.
To be true to my soul
and really start to exist.

i lie when i don't need to.
i steal when i don't have to.
i'm always thinking when i shouldn't.
i eat
drink
sleep
smoke
****
when i dont want to.
its just me feeling like i have to
fill this void because i need to.
but i shouldnt.

i'll eat till i throw up and then admit i still want more.
i'll drink so much i won't get up for days.
i'll sleep all night or not at all.
i'll smoke, snort, shoot all i can take till i go dumb.
psychotic.
numb.

i'll do it
over and over
and YES!
ill do it, all the time.
and every time
that i don't want to
i'm just so certain that i have to
fill this void
splitting me open
till i die.

Truth is

you make me wanna be honest.

Haven't felt that in the longest

time.