Ms. Minerva’s
Helpful Hints and a guide through life



Ms.Minerva…
Born September 1885….died September 1976, 91 years old.  She didn’t marry until she was 45 and had her first child that year.  Getting married at 45 was something that didn’t happen to often for women back then, especially a black woman.  Then low and behold 5 years later: what the doctor called her second tumor, she had her second and last child at 50, a baby girl and her change of life in one shot.
        But her true joy came along 17 years later at 67….only being a mother for 22 years; she was now a grandmother……that’s where I came in!  My mother’s oldest child and Ms Minerva, my grandmother’s baby boy……..Mama!!

    It is important to tell you that from here on, the stories will be in no certain order….they’re as I remember them.  As I found understanding, THE LIGHT, as she called it.
MS. MINERVA’S HELPFUL HINTS…
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[Song – Higher & Higher]
This song became her theme song for a while:  Love, knowledge taking you higher!!  Ms Minerva (Mama) the first career women I knew.  In 1967, she heard this song and realizes that this song talked about what kept her going…LOVE!  Love took her higher and higher and it was love that she shared………with me!

MM: “Boy, you might not understand what I’m telling you, but remember it remember all you hear, see, taste and feel….. because understanding come with time and when you ready for it!”
Knowledge……. Love………Understanding……Enlightenment take us higher.

How?  How did a black woman in south Louisiana go out, have a career, a family with little education but wise beyond her years.  Oh, when I say career woman I mean a cook, maid, nanny but mama said,

MM: “those jobs keep us going and I was one of the best, always be the best at what you do…greatness comes in all sizes!”


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Another thing I should say is: some of the stories that I will share have not been documented as fact.  They were hers that she shared with me…..
Like one night watching TV…….

MM: Lord, Lord, Lord…
CC:  What’s the matter Mama?
MM:  Did I ever tell you about when I worked at an all boys’ school in New (N’Orleans) Orleans.  I was the one who stayed with the boys at
night.  Well, there was one lil’ boy that was always
sneaking out of bed going outside playing his horn.
I would take it from him and beat his ****.  The day
they give it back to him, that night he would sneak outside
again.  Beating his **** didn’t help, he just kept sneaking out
no matter how long we kept the horn.
CC: What happen to him mama?
She pointed to the TV and said:
MM:  There he is……


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Louie Armstrong singing HELLO DOLLY raise in an all boys home in New (N’Orleans) Orleans….was this true……I don’t know.  Did and do I believe it….YES!
This was also one of the times I receive one of ….Ms Minerva’s Helpful Hint:

MM: You can be anything you want if you believe
and have the passion for it! Believe in
your passion because you are your passion
and you must always believe in you….yourself!  
No matter what others say or think….it’s you who
must believe!

Believing, she was a big believer. she believed in people and the good in them.


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MM:  Always see the positive in people, in everything thing.
No matter how negative someone or something is
there is always an ounce of positive…..go for the positive,
it will always carry you through and shine light

Everywhere, positive light.

I often wonder how someone so positive in my life, who taught me to look up and be strong could be so down on her daughter , my mother.  When I was sent to fly with the eagles she was told to stay on earth.  This was one of my confusions, I knew there was a lot of love there between them but so hard for them to share……Understanding comes with time.

When I was 7 years old I was sent to the kitchen to cook for a family of 5.  It wasn’t what you think.  At 72 years old Ms. Minerva wasn’t seeing things to well. So, instead of saying; Old woman you need to stop, you’re losing it.  She was told; “It’s time for Curtis to start learning how to cook, he needs to know how to take care of himself.”  So, what I thought was a prison

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sentence became some of the most wonderful and important times of my life……
I was allow to be a child and do the things children do but at 5, maybe 5:30 I went to spend my hour or two with Ms. Minerva, my best friend…..learning the secrets of the kitchen and of life.

MM:  you have got to know how to take care of yourself.
I won’t be here to take care of you but I’ll always
be watching over you, I'll always be with you!

Like a lot of things, I didn’t get it then, but I do now:

One day, I was tormenting my grandfather….Oh I haven’t and won’t say much about him because that is a whole other story, but I’ll share this much with you:
  His name was Tower Jackson Sr. better known as Bud (papa to me).  He was born in December of 1880 and died in 1969, it’s funny but I don’t remember the month or day, it just kinda went a way.  Anyway, I think he
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was married once before Ms Minerva…that’s what he said.  He had a daughter…Aunt Traci….who was old enough to be my mother’s mother.  Remember THE COLOR PURPLE he was kinda like Mister and Old Mister but not as bad.  But Ms Minerva wasn’t Ms Celia…she was more like Sophia. Papa loved me unconditionally and he was my playmate but I don’t think he realized that point but I had a great time.

Back to one of the days I was tormenting him…he was finish with me and he got up and came after me…he was between 75 or 80.  I starting running and he came after me.  We lived in a house that was once a duplex, I ran out of his room, which was in the middle of the house, took a left and headed for the kitchen and the back door, that was open to freedom.  I got to the kitchen and I could see the back door standing open and waiting for me….  But out the corner of my eye, I see Ms. Minerva washing dishes.  I turn right, then a sharp left and I’m almost to the door…..just then an arm reach out and push the door close…..I can’t stop……I hit the door and fall to the floor.  Just before papa grab me to start the whipen’ and mama looks down at me and say:      

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MM: Boy, didn’t I tell you to stop running in my house and don’t every run away!”
Well, it was all over.  I got a whipin’…one I would never forget.  Papa felt so guilty he took me for Ice Cream almost everyday for a week.
But later that day…….Ms Minerva’s helpful hint:

MM:  Baby the reason I don’t want you running, especially when
you’re scared, is because you’ll be running for the rest
of your life.  When you run out of fear you’re only
running from yourself.  No matter what people think
or what’s happening stand and face it…Don’t Run!
Believe in yourself and you can beat it.

I didn’t really understand what she was saying, but when I’m scared I hear her voice and I stand (sometime that old confusion comes in with my mother) but most time I stand, face it and deal with it.  Growing, Changing and changing and growing!  Stronger everyday.


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I remember when I was 12, it was a Sat and a beautiful day and Ms. Minerva called me into the house.  It wasn’t time for cooking and it was Sat but I went:
MM:  I need to talk to you.
CC: Mama can we talk later I’m playing.
MM:   No, I want and need to talk to you NOW!. let’s cook.

I knew that was it.  When she says: “let’s cook” the battle was over, she felt it was important.  We got to the kitchen and started pulling stuff out …
MM: You’re special
CC:  No, no don’t start this again.
MM:  No, no, no you’re special! You’re a *****, a punk, *****…

There were a few other choice colorful names…Then she said:

MM:  Now that someone that loves you, truly loves you have
called you these names they can’t hurt you.  You’re gay
and it’s not something I would chose for you but it’s

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who you are.  But it makes you more special and wonderful because you are different. You are my special, but it’s only apart of you and your life, not your whole life or the whole you.  You can chose to practice or not.  You are made up of many parts, many yous…..Be Proud of who you are! Never hang your head, You will be a great man…even greater because you know who and what you are.

That day, I knew what love was and what love is.  Unconditional Love.  I was Proud to be who and what I was and who and what I was to become.  Proud of Who I Am and What I Am.

Music was always heard in my house, all kind, mama believed in   experiencing everything in everyway.
MM:  You need to know about it all, don’t let ignorance
be your down fall.  That’s what’s wrong with most folk,
they just don’t know and don’t want to learn.  Education
is freedom; knowledge is light….don’t ever stand
in the dark, you’ll only hurt yourself.

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There were a few things I didn’t learn or just didn’t remember.  Remember I said; she didn’t like running in her house.  Well, when I was a kid I was a runner, a mover, didn’t want to get caught…so I just kept moving.   Well, one day my mother was going to whip my ****, I don’t even know why this time but she grab my arm and I just started running around her and every time I heard the belt hit…I would yell.  I think I might have gotten hit once or twice but my mother’s legs, oh boy, but she kept going and so did I.
Then I heard the voice…….
MM:  Sister, what are you doing?
Sister, that’s what everyone called my mother, even me.  she sat down in her chair
MM: Bring that boy over here and let me show you
how to do that.

The she put me on my knees and stuck my head between her knees and turn her feet in and locked her knees.  My ears were hurting but not compared to how my **** was going to feel.  Then I heard……

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MM:  Now, see you got wide-open ****!

Then the whipping began and it was one I’d never forget and the whole time she just kept talking to my mother…..I can hear her and feel the belt now..

MM:  Girl you need to get out of the way and stop making
it so hard.  Just breathe and believe, it’ll come together….
Now, go put something on your legs.

It took me awhile to start breathing but I did and I remembered what she said; “Just breathe and believe.” and when I don’t I just remember that belt on my ****.
Whenever people hear this story, they’re shocked, confuse…well, this was a different time and Ms. Minerva was a different kind of woman.  A wipen' wasn’t something that happen everyday, I never ended up in the hospital and I was shower with love….. a different day – a different time.
              


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Around that time I remember I went through my Ultra Black stage.  I had some problem at school and I hated all white people and I was very
vocal about it.  Mama, just listen and I went on and on and on….and somewhere in there she hit me and it shocked and stopped me in my tracks.  Then she looked at me and said:
MM:  Who spit on you?  Who’s bus did you sit on the back of?  
Who’s kitchen or yard did you work in?  Nothing, nothing has happen to you that bad to hate…..Don’t hate it takes to much energy.  Remember the positive.  Some white people are ignorance and you have to educate them.  You can’t be just one thing in America you have to know about all……people and things.  There will come a time in America when people will be more than just one race, we have and are mixing it up.  LEARN…we are all connected, we are all one, and we are all God!














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One other thing about my grandfather (Bud)…he had a scar over his right eye and I always asked him about it and he would say, “Go ask mama.”  But being a kid I would forget and then ask him again.  Well one day I remembered to ask Mama how he got the scar.  

MM: Who told you to ask me?

CC:  Papa……..

She started laughing and told me to sit down……

MM: One day papa came home and had decided he was going to beat me.  Someone had told him that I would take it because I should feel lucky he married an old woman.  So, he came in and hit me!  I had the broom in my hand (I had just finish sweeping) and I took that broom and started beating him with it until I broke the handle on his head.  But he kept coming and backed me up to the mantle where I had my teacups. (She collected cups and saucer) and I begin throwing them at him and when I realize I was breaking my cups…. I got mad and threw them harder and one hit him over the eye…. He stopped and went down…it was a bad cut.

cc:  What did you do?

MM:  I stepped over him and finishing cooking.  I knew he would live and I saw it didn’t hit him in the eye and it gave him something to remember this moment.  You have to leave a mark on people to remember you by….. hopefully it’s a positive mark but sometime it might have to be an ugly one.  People will treat you the way you let them and there will be time you have to show and leave them something to remember it by.  Don’t go through life getting beat up especially by yourself.

There were a few times I didn’t follow that bit of advice…...but understanding, the light came in time.


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MM:  You have to open up and let people in --- because a lot of times you see yourself through them and don’t you want them and yourself to see the truth?  THE TRUE YOU!

Early mornings were wonderful for Ms. Minerva:

MM:  Morning is my time to talk to Me and God and get us together for the day.  Some folks don’t know that they are God….your positive energy creates your world and parts of the world of others.  When you create you must be honest, positive, loving……God!  So, my quiet times in the morning is finding honest, positive, loving, creative things and feeling…..finding God in me!!!!!!!!

(Song – Amazing Grace)


One night while watching TV; we watched a lot of TV…..watching TV and cooking…anyway, it was the Mitch Miller Singers and Leslie Uggams was singing:

MM:  That’s a cute little colored girl.
CC:  Mama, we’re not colored anymore, we’re Black.

There was silent and then a sigh….

CC:  What’s the matter mama?
MM:  I’ve been *****, colored and a few other names that I don’t want to talk about and now I’m Black……I wish they would make up their minds what I am!

Then she told me:

MM:  No matter who or what people think you are…You have to know yourself, people will always try to make you into what they want you to be but the final choice is yours. You Must Know Curtis.

Her helpful hints could and would come anytime, anywhere:
MM:  life is a lesson to learn…never, never stop learning!
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Whenever I talk about Ms. Minerva I realize how much she means to me and how good it makes me feel because I see how good it makes others feel……people showing me…..Me and Ms. Minerva.

The day Ms. Minerva died I was in Shreveport/Bossier, LA in the Air Force, it was September 1976.  I was at work in the printing plant at Barksdale AFB.  My boss told me the commander wanted to see me, he was acting a little strange but at the time I didn’t think much of it.  Walking out to my car my best friend ran out after me and said he was going with me….”they call for me too.”  We got in the car laughing and talking about all the things they coul

You don't have to run
You don't have to hide
I've looked into your eyes
And felt your thoughts,
The moment has gone.
The time has passed...
I got it. I accept. The silences said it all.
So, have a Grand Life
Enjoy it all, I will see it from afar and enjoying.
As we pass to close,
Stand tall, acknowledge, smile as we move on.
Though Love has stepped back,
It is still very stronge,
Gratitude's light shines on,
A lesson learned.

Surrendering, letting go, making room and opening up to all the good to put in the space you just cleared.
You can't receive all your good if you keep your space, heart and mind, close off with stuff. you can't get the new, while you're holding on to the old....let go and make that room for all the good that is yours and waiting to shower down on you.
I remind myself of this fact, everyday. with this reminded, I choose to let go and open up to all the good in each moment.
LOVE YOU!!!!
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The process, feeling, emotions and sensations of change can be some ride but if just buckle up and throw you hands in the air and yell, weeeeeee. Those feelings, emotions and sensations will pass and you will have growth and be ready for the next experience. The on going process of Living a Wonderful, Great and Beautiful Life.
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taking time for yourself, being good to You, we all need this and should take the time to take care of us. Moving to the heart, opening the heart to yourself and it will open for others. Today, was a day for me and doing things that I need to do and find joy...all kinds of joy and happiness. Moving forward and enjoying my world, my life and knowing the same for all of you. take time for you, the silences, the joys, the happiness and let it flow out to others...It's all good, for the good and based in Love....Love Y'all!
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Opening to the happening of the day. A day of Great Gratitude and joy for all the Good there is for us. No matter what experience is presented, I will learn and share that lesson with others. It is a Great day and I will stay in the awareness of it all.
spread the LOVE! Smile...it's easy!
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Today during my reading of “the untethered soul” by Michael A. Singer, there were two things that got my attention and touched me:
“Change can be viewed as either exciting or frightening, but regardless of how we view it, we must face the fact that change is the very nature of life.”
…the other will follow in next post.
I felt that I had a handle on change and I do but it is continuous. I have to make conscious choices and stay aware that change is here and ain’t going now where. Let the energies of change continue the flow and work with the experiences don’t stop the flow. Let go of stuff and keep moving.
I was asked once, “do you ever take a breath?” Yes, all the time that is why I am where I am and say all that I say. It is during the breath, that the answers come and I have to let go of stuff and go with the breath and the answers.
LOVE, TRUTH AND A DEEP BREATH TO YOU!!!!
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Hello Darling!
I Am Still Here! There has been a lot going on in me, at time around me and all the time with me. Kicking off the summer in such a Great and Marvelous way, being able to share Love, Joy, Talent in such a Wonderful Celebration, just opened me up to soooooo much. But the ride took some downs but that’s is a Big part of the journey. The ups didn’t go as high as I want and the downs kept dipping lower. I had to work with it all… my way, I pulled back some, focus on me and the actions I had to take. The energies was very, very different but I stayed in that place, that part of my yard where the children of Love play.
I apology but did what I needed to do. I hope no one took it personally, it wasn’t, but I had to take care of me, to better take care of you. Even though things are still happening, I feel that I am moving forward, to better, brighter but I have to say; I don’t know where that is but I am going.
There are changes happening to me for me and I am open to it all. I am…will react to it for that place of Peacefulness, experiencing it all and letting go as it needs to go. One thing, from the whole spider bite thing, with the infection, when you stay aware and focus, all parts of healing can be felt…”the good and the bad feeling” and with my body doing its thing…I have to see where it leads. I took and I am taking all the actions that I’ve been told to do but I won’t know what it will look like until, it’s all done. I smiled, when I realize that is how all healing is: taking the actions needed and given, breathing deep because we won’t know What’s what, until the healing is done. But I can say…I Am feeling good, uncomfortable but good and I am Ready for the changes and the growth that comes with it all.
So, as I stand in Gratitude, Love, Joy, happiness and Truth…I know that I am moving forward and I Will Do My Best…Always doing my best, where I am, in the present moment. I will always give Love, accept Love and Be Love; as I continue on this, my journey. Thanks for being with me…being wonderful guides, understanding and knowing that, the choices are mine…
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I am in the middle of my 90 days in review leading up to my birthday. I look at where I am and where I've come from and celebrate them both. Yes, there might be a little pain but it's always a tons of joy. I don't know how I got started doing this and it's been going on for years now and I Love it. Because when I get to my birthday and the 30 days that follow, I celebrate ME and the light of moving forward. In this 90 days in review, I forgive a lot, me and anyone I think my have done me something. I remember that where I am, who I am and this present moment I am in, are all mine, it take total responsibility for all of it. I celebrate the awareness, the knowing, surrendering: letting go of stuff and opening up to all the joy and happiness in my life. I stand in, with and as GRATITUDE. I accept the Forgiveness and Open up to and for more. Staying in the flow of Source, the Oneness that we are, Individual expressions of source, working, living in the ONENESS OF SOURCE!
So for the next 60 days, I stand tall in/on my foundation of Love and Truth, the Love I share with all Y'all and always remember that we are One with, in and as Source.
Have a Wonderful Friday and a Great and Marvelous Weekend. Do the Good, be the Good, open up, give and receive the good. Your are the Greatness, in all this Goodness!!!!
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My 2010 find you wandering the streets of Life collecting Joy, Happiness, Prosperity, Love, Health and all the Good It has to offer. Knowing that the Light in You shines bright and that you Energy connects to All. Decide to Live your Greatness; It is your choice! Love You All!
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I have been thinking about what I wanted to say to all of you and the only thing that comes to mind is: THANK YOU! For being my friends, my family and the Love of my Life. I Thank You not only now at Christmas but always, present moment to present moment and each present moment is full of Love, Truth and the Freedom to be who we want to be. Thank You for letting me be me! WE SHARE THE GREATNESS! I LOVE YOU!
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A week before Christmas....Do you remember how you felt, as a kid, this time of year? I felt Good, Free, Happy and full of Love and nothing could change those Feeling and I knew It! I'm taking those Feelings Back!
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How Great is Great, When Great meets Great? To See Great...Look in the Mirror!!!! You are that Great!
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No matter how dark you think it is, there is always a Light...In YOU... head for it and Love the Journey!!!
LOVE is Great and I just can't get enough!
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accepting and releasing with understanding...Being Me that's what I got Me
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Up and getting ready to go make the coffee for the last time this year. Have a Wonderful, prosperous, Great - full and Loving New Year. Know that all that happens is really for our highest Good and Celebrate every step in your Life, big and small. Know that I will send you all the Love that I can and Know nothing but the best for U! GOOD MORNING BABE, IT'S TIME TO BE YOUR GREATNESS!
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No Matter where we are in our Life - riding the rollercoaster of Life with all of it' ups and downs, standing in silent breathing our songs, dancing to the joys of who we are...please know that the Light is always with you...in you...it is you....and me. Let us All Rise to the Greatness that We are and shine that Light....I rise, I rise and still I rise...
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How special the joys of Life, the things that touch our Heart. How a smile can Light up a day and keep us open and up for all the Good to come. Remember your smile is someones Light, share it and get more Light back, that's how it works....and so it is...Love and Smiles!
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What a Great - ful, Wonderful, Joyful day! Woke up to Tons-O-Love and now my face hurts from smiling so much. So, today is a Day to Smile and Share the LOVE! Working and making costumes....making money and being creative on my b'day and enjoying the Love. Thank U and Let the Celebrating began, I go until the 19th of Dec...I Love to Celebrate! OK, EVERYONE BIG SMILE AND LOTS-O-LOVE :-d
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"It doesn't have to be pretty it just has to be the right kind of ugly!"
CLASSIC! I overheard a dad say this to his daughter at the pumpkin
patch. It's only taken me 3 weeks to remember to post it! From my friend Tobi T, I Loved it so much I had to share! It's so True!!! Have a Great day and come over to NoHo tonight for the MADNESS!
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It's a Great Day.....Just let It Be and see where It Leads.........
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I Am feeling overwhelm today, not in a "bad" way but very full, feeling it all over. I think I will just leave myself open and work with It! It's a Good Day!

Sat, June 27, 16
This morning as I sit on the steps in Memphis, TN, doing my morning thing. I realize that I am sitting enjoying a time of change.  It is a new day, a new moment, a new city, state, country, world because of change yesterday, there was a huge surge of energy, Love, Joy, happiness, amazement, positive, healing energy went off the chart and we all felt it, experience it. Yes even those who didn’t and wouldn’t accept it…they experienced it. For those who accepted it, it was a feeling that we have and continue search for…Freedom, Love, feeling the warm light of Gratitude.  Things they be changing for the better…for the Greater.
Yes, those who don’t accept change will try to build a wall or walls to block it, but they would also build a wall to block the change of toilet paper. The feeling of Freedom, Love, and Gratitude scares them. Some will hold out a hand and cry; “help me I’m scare.” Others will just fight…but change is here. Change is the mandate of time.  Open up to it, accept it, fighting change hurts and aren’t you tried hurting and trying to makes others hurt. Some will say; “NO!!!” and keep fighting.
But for the acceptors, receivers, the ones who look for the good, the ones who want to know…know how do we build for here and move forward. Time to step into Gratitude’s light and feel the warmth.
Me, I like this Loving, Positive, healing energy. I wake up everyday with it, looking for more. Friday, June 26, 2015 was a day of overwhelming feelings and sensations but I didn’t close down. I stepped on the ride, buckled up and said; “LET’S GO!!!” I Love the overwhelming feeling of Love that comes from around the world.
Open up to it – Love, Compassion, Forgiveness is Freedom. Don’t be afraid of these feelings of Freedom.  It is what we have been all searching for.  Stop judging, no labels…put holes in your walls and let the light in.  Open up and learn to live and work with this Freedom, you will be surprise at what you will find.
Let the Love, positive, healing energy take you on your ride. Let Freedom and Gratitude wash over you: You, We are not taking the steps forward alone…no never alone…
Namaste
The Divine in me, see and acknowledge The Divine in You…Always!!!!
Have a Grand day of Adventures and remember…BIG SMILES!!!


June 28th
Are you not bored with hurting and hurting others? I see your face when you’re talking and hear the words you are saying.  I also feel your pain at times. But I don’t see Truth, your Truth because if I did, I wouldn’t feel pain.
We are all Individual Expressions of the Divine; the Universe; the Greater energy. Yes, there is something bigger out there but there is also something Bigger inside…Stop blocking it!!!! You are a Divine Being!!! I am a Divine Being!!! Yes, we are different but we are so alike.  It is the differences in us, coming together, like a jigsaw puzzle that makes the Oneness…The Divine!  Look at and for the Good!  It is surrounded by all the stuff we pile on top of it.  Clear away the stuff. Let that Divine in you, see that Divine in me.
Forgiveness, Love, Compassion. I am not stopping you from being who you are…I am Like You – An Individual Expression of the Divine! I shine my light and let others shine their light. I don’t ask you to cover your light…why should I cover mine?

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God, there I said it! God… The Higher Power, the Universe, The Divine – Whatever name you choose to use (a Rose my any other name, smell as sweet.) The Power I know accepts, not judge. If the last word you say is; Forgive me! Then it is done. And if you believe in the judge and you can if you want, why are you trying to take his job?
He sent a teacher, Jesus, that other name…from my understanding, taught Love, Forgiveness, compassion…did you miss those classes. You are not under attack from the outside. You are under attack from the inside.  If you are going to follow his teaching, then follow and stop trying to take the lead.  There is more than on way to the mountain top. Let each take his own path.  Stop standing at the bottom of the mountain yelling; “you’re going the wrong way!” Accept that, not everyone wants to walk with you or walk your way.  Accept and start your climb, on your path, your way and let others do the same.


7/8
Input-
We as Spiritual Beings having a human experience, receive so much input…it is hard to get through it all.  I do know that part of the process in developing a filter to help us see; what is needed now, what should be prepare for later and what’s not needed at all.  The biggest thing is what to let go off and when, why.  In the filtering process, figuring out what not to take so personal. Oh! We all take input personal. Now some of us don’t let it live with or in us but we all experience the sensations and that’s okay.  It when we live in it or bury it deep down, to bring it up at a later time that it becomes bad.
So many people give us input. Some with the intent to help. Some with the intent to hurt. Some with no intent at all, just want you to know their opinion. With all that’s coming at us, plus what we input to ourselves, it can get overwhelming especially with no filter or a weak filter.
I reached a point, where I hear it all. Some is discarded as soon as I hear it.  Some I store because it’s not needed and will soon be release back into the circle to come back around again, when needed. Some I use when making up my mind but it may not show.  It just didn’t compute for my best and highest…
To be con’t…

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The past is just a point of reference, not a way of Life. It’s oaky to visit, see the memories, use the sensations to refresh or make aware…but don’t make it a way of life.  You can’t change it but You can grow from it!


7/16
Starting each day…
Waking up to yes
Making choice to be happy
Moving from good moment to good moment, dealing with all the stuff in-between while continue to look at the good in everything.
Being aware and focus, living in the: Love and Gratitude’s light.
Looking for the lessons, passing on what I’ve learned. Putting it all in my hard drive for future use.
Surrendering, releasing, letting go and opening up to the highest.
Trusting “ME!”
Faith and Belief
Enjoying, laughing, smile and celebrating Life…
Everyday

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When I fee a lack of trust, I look within myself. Trust to me is an inside things. Trusting that I’ve made the right choices for me. For when I stand in Trust of myself, I have faith and belief in my Being. I have trust I the people, things and situation I have chosen to added/place into my Life.
Today I stand with joy and Love knowing I have support and Love. I know, feel and celebrate the support and Love I have for myself. I am open and ready to continue creating Greatness.


7/19
Are you listening to understand or listening to reply, with excuse and being defensive? But if you listen to understand, you’ll see there is now need for excuse or to be defensive for being who you are…unless you are not sure of that yet.
…just a question


7/20
Please, stop saying; “I’m sorry…” for doing what you wanted to do. If you said you are going to do something, but from something you felt was more important and higher up on your list…just say, I can’t. Don’t ignore…you don’t have to say what you’re doing…just something came up. But you wait time the next day with a, “Sorry” and a story…just no more sorry, maybes or whatever. Yes or no is find.
Never be sorry for what you want to do but be respectful for what you said you were going or maybe do. The story has a better ending that way.


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Greatness comes in all flavors just enjoy it with no limits
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!

Right now is a good time to start,
You’re not behind anyone or ahead of anyone,
You’re right where you need to be!
Start now, in this moment…
Look, see, know, be aware…you have everything you need.
Start now.
Right now is a good time to start,
With Faith, Belief in the highest good,
trusting, knowing, doing, Being.
Start now…
Standing in Love, knowing Truth, making conscious choices,
knowing you can make changes if need be.
It is time to start,
lets start right now, in this present moment…
moving forward, higher, trust in yourself,
Knowing…..
Right now it is time to start….
Knowing…You are One with Source/the Creative energy
and Being One with the Creative Energy, you are One with Everything.
Right now is a Good Time to Start.
(it's never to late, your never to old, just do it! 2013 time to be seen!)
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Heeeey! How You be's so far? Me...I don't know...huh, don't know. feel okay, still a lil sleepy, gotta get some things in hand and work with it better...I don't know. feeling and sending out a lot of Love this morning. Sooooo, I'll see what comes up and what will be created during the process today.
You, create something Glorious today and have some fun. I'll let you know what comes up, when I know.
have fun, enjoy it all and celebrate everything....Big Smiles!!!
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today, this morning has be very peaceful for me...so far. Thinking about last week, on Saturday, I was in rehearsal, got a txt for one of the Love's of my life, he had just married is long time Love and I was overjoyed. Then, I got a Christmas card from a friend in LA, letting me know what I mean to her and her life...I was overjoyed. I thought; here I am in Memphis, doing what I Love. My friend/family is joining his Love with his Love and I got my Roses...for knowing that I have made a different and Loved are Roses....The sign...showing me that I am walking forward on this journey. That there is Love in my Life. Love around my Life. That Love is My Life! I stand tall in Gratitude's Light. This day...This week I create Greatness, joy, happiness, light and I Am Love!
I Am Grateful for/to all of You for sharing your life with me and letting me be apart of it! Thank You for staying and being apart of my Life. You...all of You, help to make the journey so Grand with tons of Light! A deep breath here because I am just overwhelm for all that you have given me...you are giving me and the lessons, experiences and adventures you have made with me. I LOVE YOU ALL TONS!!!
Now, get up, get out and DOIT! Do your thang baby because it is and will be GREAT!
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oh, what will this day bring? whatever it is I am ready, it will be good, it will be fun and it will be for me, to use for my highest Good. to receive a lesson and to give a lesson, that is every experience and I am aware and open to learn that lesson and to use that lesson wisely...conscious choice, that's it.
Staying focus, because it would be very easy, not to be. It is all coming together...I ain't come this far to stop NOW! Going to enjoy the day, my choice and it just feels gooooood! groovin' to the sounds and music of the day, listening to what is, knowin' what ain't don't work.Grateful, Thankful and so totally Blessed...releasing it, knowing it is done and Celebrating, knowing that I got It all cause I Got Love..
and so it is.
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Change, it happens…can’t stop it…to grow is to change and to change is to grow.
2013 is a year of change for me and I will grow into more Good. It all happens…for the highest Good. Sometimes, it take time to see that Good. I must be aware…focus…open…knowing, working with it all from a place of Love and Truth…ready to take action.
Today, pulling it all in and working with it. Packing some stuff, finishing quilt (yes, coming to the finish line with it…pictures will be seen soon!) Enjoying, Celebrating, letting the boogie move me. I am Loving this day and Loving me and Loving my folks…all y’all…change is good, let’s work with it.
LETS MAKE TODAY THE BOOGIE DAY! Yes, everyone can boogie….
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Today...looking for the good: that element of good that's in each and everyone of us...keeping my focus there and no matter what happen, what the action I need to take let it come for that point of good that's in me, you and everyone and everything else. As Patti LaBelle would say...A New Attitude. I feel if I come from a place of good, I will bring a lot of...tons of Good with me. Today, no labels, no judgement...looking at The Thing Itself and seeing that place where we are ONE..working with, using it and choosing wisely from that place of Oneness...Laughing, singing, having a Good time and knowing...that as One we can Change things but we must all do Our part...start with Love and Truth.
Now, the music start "....running hot, running cold our senses in over load.....we need a new attitude..." Letting go and staying open to...A New Attitude. Have a Great day and Enjoy...the Fun is only beginning!
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Knowing it is done. Everything, before I speak the words...it is done. Remembering that sometime is hard. All we need do is listen, accepted and follow the action laid out, don't try and change it...just Trust, have Faith and KNOW! It is can be hard at time...when we think we know better. "It is done as YOU believe." Today, double checking what I Believe...What I Know...and listening and following the action.
Today, in this moment...I Trust me! I know the Truth and knowing that we All are One with the Creative Energy, The Universe and Everyone and Everything that is. Seeing the facts, working with them but always, always Living in Truth and Love. I know...It is done, I just need to surrender, Letting go and opening up, taking action toward the Highest and All will, do, has worked out for the Highest Good. I Know this...It is done as I Believe. Oh, That's why I am always Celebrating and hearing...weeeeeeeeee! I know, I Trust, I Love, I Believe, I do the work, I am Grateful, Thankful and soooo Blessed...I AM and shall always BE! Have a Great day...I Am!
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It is time for my Heart to open up and Sing! Today was a bit of a rollercoaster for me but deep breaths and staying with the upward movement, I did what was needed...a small Celebration but a Celebration none the less. Taking moments in silence to here the answers to so many questions running through my head. Staying open and letting go of stuff, making room.
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Tomorrow will be a day of focus, seeing the good in it all and connecting...Letting Freedom Ring. Tonight I will surrender stuff up and breathe..quiet time with Curtis C.! ...and then the Blessing flowed with storms of Love. The music grew and the dance of Gratitude and Thanksgiving began...my Heart is at peace...
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Ready: New experiences and adventures, working with all that is here for me right now. Loving every moment and the people I find in those moment, even if they don't want to be Loved. Creating a day one step at a time and having Fun doing it....That's it one step at a time, one choice at a time and knowing everything I need, want and require is here for me...awareness, Love, knowing and Truth, Great tools to work with. Okay, I am going for IT. Lets get this Party started!!!!!!
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Change and adventure...adventure and change. That is what's happening right now. Making conscious choices, while going through changes and it is all a Wonderful adventure.
Today, I will see where the adventure leads and I am making the conscious choice to have a Good time with it all...Seeing the facts and working with them, knowing that it is all Goo,d. The really Great thing that is happening, with every step I take, I am shown, reminded, aware and feel all the Love that surrounds me...from everywhere! That is a Wonderful Adventure...to do your thing surrounded by Love! NOW THAT SOME BLESSIN'! I am so Grateful, Thankful and Happy...Thanks!
...and a Good time was had by All and All became aware that they were One, working with and in Love and Truth. Then, the creating and Celebrating just got Bigger and Brighter and they realize that the Good Times, just got Great! It was there All The Time! Have a Great Day!!!!
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Good Morning! Last night right before going to sleep, I founded out an old friend had made his transition, Jim Montgomery in Shreveport. Even though it had been several years that I had talked to him or seen him I realize he was one of those people, memories, point of references that helped me through many things in my life. His spirit, his lessons, the fact that I could call him...Friend. We did several shows together, shared meals, several Long talks and lots and lots of laughs. We worked at the Newspaper together in Shreveport, a job he helped me get and so, for awhile I saw him pretty much every day and every day he gave me something to help me along, to store away for later use and to just say, its okay, "I'm here if you need." Beside the fact, that you couldn't say Theatre in Shreveport without his name come up. He will be missed, there will be sadness and tears but as we work through the sadness, that feeling of Lost...Lets Celebrate the Life of James Montgomery and that he made a mark on and in our Life. How Grateful I am to know him. How Thankful I am for the Support and Love he gave me and How Blessed I am that He is still with me, that point of reference I can check in with, laughing as I remember the stories he told, wonderful dinners, doing shows in Shreveport with him, talks over wine...the hugs, the Love, the time he said, "I am here with and for you." without saying a word. I am very Happy that James Montgomery IS a part of my life. So, to my friends, no....my family in Shreveport as you work through the sadness, lets Celebrate the Life and the Gifts he gave to US...how Special we are to have had the Jim Montgomery (Uncle Jim) Experience. I Love You and will see you all soon!
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Today, I temporarily give up my office in the nation of Procrast, so I can get my stuff together and see what's going with me back down south. It is not easy but I will, I know, return to office, most likely after the 1st of March. For now it is time to get this act together and take it on the road and see where Spirit leads.
Surrender time...letting go and opening up to possibilities and opportunities...Great Day, I wish it was warmer.....

Sitting out back, It's nice, comfortable, sweet...
So many thoughts running through my head, over thinking but not.
So many things to be said but no words to say it all and no one to hear it all.
It okay because it's all perspective...my perspectives.
And Who would really understand; The way I see. The way I hear. The way I feel. From my soul, my heart, my head. I send it all out. I hope you feel, you hear, you see. Into your head, your heart, your soul. If we're lucky your perspective will understand.
Life is a such a Grand ride with all its ups and downs. Its light and dark. Its smiles and tears but...but its Love is so Wonderful!
So here I am...Me!
Sitting out back, it's nice, comfortable, sweet...and somewhat overwhelming.
I wish you could see what I see and understand it all...I Am just Me.

Good morning!!!!! Nice, quiet morning.
Creating Greatness today.
Starting from the highest point and working my way up.
Sharing and giving Love on every level, from every level.
A good day to just BE!!!
Kicking it in neutral today and working within the flow.
To focus on and search for the Good that surrounds me.
Knowing...everything is gonna be alright

YOU have a Grand Day today.
Put all the stuff back into the flow, focus on your good and...
Create the Greatest time for yourself, from where you are.
It will move you forward and higher.
Join in the Celebration of Life!
Sing your song, dance your dance, laugh, smile and shake that *****!!!!
Whatever you're going through today, how ever you label it or judge it...
Make it a stepping stone to the Greatness that you are.
You have carried much heavier burdens and made it this far.
Live Life. Your Life and make it what you want!!

Tons of Love and BIG **** SMILES!!!!!
Now Goooooooo!!!!!!!

I would like to know...

I would like to know why I became invisible and so hard to be around. Why did you feel the need to run and hide? Was it something I did/ I said or didn't do/say? Were you afraid I would ask you for something or was it because I didn't ask? Yes, I find you attractive. Yes, I want/  wanted to see you naked...just once. Yes, to touch your body. But I wanted most of all your friendship! Your Love as a friend. I fail in Love with your spirit, your sense of freedom, your ability to accept a person as is...at least that's what you gave me at first.
I think/thought you felt my bring attracted to you, though I tried to put it aside. Those feelings do come when two spirit come together. Were you afraid because you were having the same feelings? Yes, I felt them from you. Were you afraid of my age? For me, age is just numbers, you said you agreed.
The Spiritual connection and personality is what counts for me and pulled me in. We did connect and do connect on those levels.
I am your friend, as I have told You this before. I promised I would be there for you and I will. All that I have done and will do was because I still believe we have a connection, whatever it maybe, (friendship I hope) and it still feels good. Also because I wanted to.
I shall take a few bigger steps back. NO, I don't like it or want to do it but you need it and want it. But I Am still here for you...you just need to ask.

But I would like to know why I became invisible and hard to be around, also, why you felt the need to run and hide?
I Love You, My Friend!!!!