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 May 2013 Sayer
marina
he said
it's just easier this way,
to let you go before you're
gone

she said
you're only hurting yourself
more, letting go instead of
holding on to hope

he said*
i just don't want to hold on
anymore

she said*
but you have to, for me
please

(but for her own sake,
she'd already prepared herself
to get ready to let go)
i'm a hypocrite
because i fail to see why he's pushing away the two best friends he's ever had, and so i tell him to stop being ridiculous and to hold on.  but i'm already putting up walls just in case he decides it's not worth it.
you guys convinced me not to delete this.  thank you
 May 2013 Sayer
marina
i don't need you to hold my hand
anymore to reassure me that you're there,
but sometimes i still get scared, so
i'm begging you tonight--
                                             please
                                                       don't
                                                               *go
because this is the scariest road i've ever had to cross and i don't know what to do when all my friends have to go and i have to stay so please stay with me too.  i don't need you to be here every day like i'd like you to be, but don't tell me it would hurt less to just stop talking now because that's bull and you know it.  
holy crap i'm freaking out.  i'm sorry, i feel like i use hp more as a diary than i should.
 May 2013 Sayer
marina
i have run
out of words
to give to
you
.
 May 2013 Sayer
marina
cartographer
 May 2013 Sayer
marina
i have painted universes on the
backs of paper cranes again and
again,
but i am still too scared to
explore them.
i think map-making would be such a lovely job.
today i saw a friend that i haven't seen in almost a year while he was working.  it was the weirdest thing, neither of us knew what to say.  but he smiled at me like we were best friends and that right there was enough.
 May 2013 Sayer
marina
you think nobody's been
listening, but i always
did
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