Attention
My span is short
Fickle and false
I barely even have a pulse
Deficit
Of all of use
Of anything that’s not obtuse
Hyperactivity
In my brain
In my movements
I’ll never change
Disorder
That’s how they describe
My silly little broken mind

I make lists
Throughout the week
Each night before
I go to sleep
Monday is usually blue
Tuesday green
And Wednesday too
Thursday can be blue or red
Fridays purple
In my head
Saturday is a happy yellow
Sundays beige, calm and mellow
I make my lists
To get me through
So I remember what to do

I’d love to say
I’ve no idea
But unfortunately
I’ve many
I’d love to say
I’ve plenty of cash
These days
I’ve barely any
I’d love to say
I’ve grown up strong
But really
I’ve grown small
I’d love to say I’m worth it
But it seems I’m not at all

It’s a chasm of nothingness
A gaping void that doubles in on itself
Like how I imagine a black hole would
I’m in it and I am it
Can’t see into it or out of it
It makes me heavy like a wet towel
Thick and slow like dripping tarmac
It is pain and it is anaesthesia
Feeling nothing and everything
Dragging myself through days and weeks
With proverbial broken ankles
Stumbling into potholes and falling
Flat on my face
Over and over again
Till the sun comes back

‘Are you okay?’
Said the brain to the heart.
The heart screamed ‘NO’
Back up at the brain,
The brain rolled its eyes to itself
and said to the heart
‘get a grip’

I could be at the lowest depths
The most sunken death
But when I see the sea
That’s when I’m free

I’d prefer devastation
To this desolation
I’d rather feel it all
Than to feel this empty
No tears left, no screams
Just the fakest smile that
Gets me through the day
Till I’m home
And I’m blank