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Eric Braun May 22
I got dizzy sick rolling down hills in the mist
In the heart of a city desperate to exist
I understood that longing gaze of the abyss
An endless summer, well, when will it quit?

A stitch in time between two uneven seams
A finger in the socket of Tesla's dead dream
Come dance in the current of electric memes
Talk me out of my money with sweet polysemes

Dawn's hair was a sunbeam, she dyed it fire
It wouldn't fall straight, time is a spire
Out of sync with fate and strung like a lyre
She was an apex of innocence and desire

She left with a preacher all doom and gloom
I came with a stripper in a darkened black room
She said I'm a good kisser, I assume it's true
You can laugh at me if you want to

This dancer's a waterfall, turning all slowly
Trying to show me how intimacy's lonely
Piercings on her back like the ones Anna showed me
Lost time swirling in whirlpools below me

I tried to be gentle but I just turned out weak
Cursed by my angels, Hope and Release
My mediocre mind, my consistent hobgoblin
She said "Don't fall in love," that won't be a problem

Haylee got angry at the skip in each heartbeat
Anxiety burning in every breath of our sleep
She held every moment of the life I never had
Then released them like butterflies in our confab

My tongue tied, un-nimble, into infinity symbols
Swirling in the kiss of strangers so simple
Peeking thru needle's eyes into heaven's riddle
Wound up with Thumbelina living in a thimble

Tumbling down a faucet stream, twisting with ripples
Her hair caught in my mouth, it tickles a little
Her eyes scream with thoughts of playing my fiddle
But I feel the life released from my middle

My heartbeat's compulsive, my shivers convulsive
Her tatoo at an angle, her complexion olive
I called it a nice moment but I hope it lasts
A thousand memories trapped in my gasp

A thousand nows
just
out
of
my
grasp
Eric Braun Feb 24
I slept
thru all of your texts
I doubt
my thoughts would've helped
Maybe they're better repressed

I spent
most my 20s depressed
My teens obsessed
Upset
or trying to rest
Caught up in myself, I guess

Minds split
or in a vice grip
Trying to inflate
some simple experience
Waiting
for each compulsive hum
To turn into an aria
Waiting
for each actor
To have his or her own camera

Now they talk about depression
Like it's the normalest thing
Like paupers who all think
They deserve to be kings

I don't know why I came here
What I'm doing here at all
They take away my identity
The one they gave to me
The one they demanded of me
Like it was never mine at all

Facebooked
the captured looks
Chased down and hooked
Walked the plank
and tossed from the boat
I labored to rock and shook

Nostalgic
for an old emptiness
Like a sepia photo
It's just
some sidewalk I walked
in another life
Some talk we had
That wound
out of our hands
and wound us up here
somehow

I listened for directions
Took half-certain impressions
from your dog whistle call
Your charm
Your steady walk
Your inevitable fall
Wrote them
in marker on your wall
But now I'm pretty certain
You never gave a ****
about me at all
Eric Braun Feb 24
I woke up this morning thinking of you
Like writing this poem is all I can do
I don't smoke or drink but even a buzz
Probably wouldn't lower my defenses enough
You fell asleep thinking of somebody else
I won't get jealous cause that doesn't help
I know myself and I'm still too scared
To love you how you should be loved


Oh but honey you can't be as sweet to me
As the sugar that's in my blood
You were tryin' to tell me you're not an angel
She was saying that she was
I guess we all see just what we want to see
Way outside the bounds of propriety
I can't tell desire from anxiety
That's just a clarity you won't find in me
Eric Braun Feb 24
Rusted armor and suspect honor
The stories we're told are ours
Trust and candor, the way they pander
Thinking they hung the stars
Transparency, fake sincerity
The fear of being caught
Social disparity, vocal clarity
The thrill of being watched

All these forms of focused sensation
Lawsuits, brands and allegations
It's all a lot of information
It's all up before the litigation
Every turret and every tower
Every destiny and every power
For a thousand years and twice again
Fallen and forgotten by the tale's end

Impunity to lunacy
the little cracks in the community
Who remembers where this funeral began
Who ******* told you they understand
The rules they wrote in founding these
Systems, absolutes and boundaries
All were cast in pencil first
All were from men made and dispersed

I can't complain or say I was deceived
My uncertainties can't be relieved
Your confidence was a lie
but it's allright
It was nice for a moment to believe
Eric Braun Feb 23
Fix your posture, sit up straight
Your smoker's cough, your wobbly gait
Fix my problems, I'm a reprobate
Find what I lost and compensate

For 40 years nothing really changes
In 100 years, mostly still the same
1000 years it feels barely gone
Rearrange the furniture and carry on

I saved your seat on the city bus
I whispered "Please don't self-destruct"
Amongst strangers I stared at the wall
and wondered if I really knew you at all

For 20 years you held on tightly
Kept the faith, maybe wavered slightly
In 40 years they'll still be deciding
The differences are a change in lighting

Lightning strikes in a fitful shake
The world swirls in it's peaceful wake
I felt stunned, even cast aside
You looked vacant, dewey eyed
Your mouth set, your words hating
Your eyes wanting
Only wanting

Fear

1000 years make you feel clever
I used to forget, now I remember
Everything

100 years make you heavyset
I used to remember, now I forget
Everything
but your eyes wanting
Always wanting
Eric Braun Feb 23
I woke up with your heart in my mouth
In my ***** room, scattered reminders
and a blue sky calling me
Maybe like "It's a short life, get going"
Maybe like "It's a long life, run while you can"

The night stars all shied away, abused
Dogs pressed against the asphault, confused
Cats chased sunbeams thru the shade
I waited for the shadows to fade

In a clean room, a hospital lobby
Impatience crouched between each breath
I read a magazine about what animals dream
As we tried hard not to think about death

A raft careening thru pirate waters
A caravan rolling over plains
Awash in capital that's been laundered
The blue sky calling me names

I took my beating as quietly as I could
Really what else was I going to do
All this pain and this shame is all we are
You swallow it or it swallows you

I found God when I was in prison
Really what else was there to do
When the blue sky's just a story they tell
and scattered reminders re-wire your mind

The wind pressed at my cheek like a kiss
All caught up in some chance that I missed
At 2:13 pm, they pronounced me dead
I'll let you know how that goes

I paused a second to let memories have me
For that moment I felt nothing had changed
I felt like Nixon when he went to China
When China came back for us, that hope waned

I let the lightning out of my backpack
My old friends all scattered at the sight
To be honest, you didn't look impressed
As the world shuddered at your caress

I woke up with your heart in my mouth
I couldn't figure out how to spit it out
But I like it because it's bitter
and because it's your heart
Eric Braun Feb 23
When we were on the tarmac
I thought you were an art thief
I found out this place is plugged into your heartbeat

When we were in the car park
I thought you were a card cheat
Turns out this town is hooked up to your heartbeat

I thought you were a raincloud
I found out you're a hurricane

When I met you on the ice floes
Your wings were looking damaged
I got so flustered just watching you try to flutter

When the moonlight was your halo
I was paralysed by the tension
Turns out your gravity was all that held me in suspension

I thought you were a raincloud
It turns out you're a hurricane
I got whipped by the wind, my hair got all sandy
But I was as prepared as a person like me can be

When we saw the horizon
I was the places you'd never been to
Now you're the current the power lines tapped into

And I've got my own problems
I know that you can't solve them
But somebody's got to keep this hamster wheel revolving

I took you for a raincloud
You're a ******* hurricane

We had our crumbling temple
and our row of golden pews
When I remember this in ten years
All I'll think about is you

We had our shining tower
and our unobstructed view
When they try to trace the power
They'll see it was always only you

I thought you were a raincloud
But you're a hurricane
I got caught in your downpour
You soaked me to my frame

— The End —