Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Obadiah Grey Mar 2013
Squares have disappeared,
and edges burred,
a root of the round
now abounds.

anathematic steel
has succumbed to rust.

horsepower has
reverted to horse and –
the kingfisher
will truly be king.

And the trees now thrum
and grasses dance
in the old bluebell wood,
the oak,
the ash,
the elm;
everything will be
as it should --

with the green man-
at the helm.
Obadiah Grey Jun 2010
So lunch is on me then eh?

lips suitably pursed, pinkie raised
to the correct angle,
she sits and sips the last dregs of
life she's squeeezzed outta me-
a fitting accompaniment
to the thick slice o' succulent wallet
she's so elegantly carved out of my ***.

dripping with greenback,
for those blessed with perfect diction,
her lawyer comments on the tenderness
of my sauteed sweetbread,
"hummmm a little stringy,
but ever so nourishingly juicy".
as he pours the remnants of my self esteem on to his final bill...

alan nettleton
Obadiah Grey Apr 2012
First we fashiond our Gods
of stone
and then from a
sacred wood,
we even tried out
flesh n bone,
but it wasn't -
quite as good.
we lauded him as
"SON OF BOSS"
then promptly nailed
him - to the cross.
so can I borrow
your latest God?
as this one's
one helluvan-
awkward sod!....
Obadiah Grey Mar 2012
If you **** an ear on a moonlit night-
point it to the sky,
you just may hear the crunch of gear
of sputnik whizzing by,

It was built by them there Russians
errrrrrrm,,,, 'bout 1957,
outta garbage cans n rusty vans
then launched quite close to heaven,

think it's due fer re-entry soon-
but I guess I'll be in bed.
so I'll pray real hard that she's off her guard
and it lands on the ex wife's head
Obadiah Grey Oct 2012
The fare we pay for
penning rhyme
is want of sleep and
pilfered time;
But a poem is a poets
fair redeem,
when weighed against -
a dream.
Obadiah Grey May 2011
Sunday morning with Buddha.

Desire is a plump fickle comely *****;
Want is but a breakfast in bed,
Need is a dump a *** n a trump
and a **** with a bodkin n thread
Obadiah Grey May 2011
Tea fer Two.

Pickle me a Dolphin; sprinkle liberally with rye,
whip us up a Butter cup on Snake n Pygmy pie.
griddle ten rare rats ****, soaked in sauce o' barbeque;
serve it all in the banquet hall; for liddle me n you.
Obadiah Grey Jun 2010
All I saw was an *** - twitching;
as it sashayed through the doorway,
pert n tight n denim clad,
think the legs were rather fine too,
not too sure though,
the *** kinda jiggled in an intoxicating
hypnotic rhythmic fashion,
sorta "♫*** didi *** didi *** *** ***,♫"
it was muscular, without being overly developed,

I had a really deep desire to bite it;
chew on it a liddle !
Obadiah Grey Dec 2011
Perhaps the moon valiant
shall vanquish this days ire,
for a suns radiant
sad Soliloquy pales in twilight
burnished,

but a bruised blind mute
in awe of Dianas flight.
Obadiah Grey May 2010
The comely *****

a comely ***** o' twenty three, from yonder village banburee,
alight her sight on poor auld me, a poorly man wi' one bad knee,
she buxom be enough fer three, her legs be thick as big oak tree,
but contrary to crippled me, she sprightly be wi' two good knee.

as I took flight on that fateful night from rutting comely *****,
I felt a pain, a twist, a strain, and a gutting  Rumley Wrench!
yon knee was spent, wi’ geat lament, she's upon me in a jiffy
she made it clear, she said, “m’dear I want yer little ******”

now twenty three ‘tis not in years, but sire, tis stones in weight,
and 'er on me wi one good knee, be too dire to contemplate,
but to my surprise, she got a rise outa my little wrinkled pecker,
wi’ her big thighs and **** the size o’ a bleedin double decker!!
Obadiah Grey Jan 2012
"- The Greasy spoon -"





I wonder if there’s canteens
in Heaven;
with cottage cheese that’s
quite appealing
hob *** biscuits
n darjeeling -- yeah;
Wonder if there's canteens-
in heaven;
Maybe beans on toast
or a Sunday roast
is served by God
the holy ghost,
n his only son is the one-
who pours the gravy;

yeah;
wonder if there’s canteens - in Heaven.
Obadiah Grey May 2010
The joker

who has seen the sun at midnight?
shining darkly,, shadow rays,
playing hooky with the pixies
as the rest just stand n gaze,
the thief he stole our conscience our ego
and our self, left us singin Dylan songs
whose lyrics were his wealth,,,,,

the joker saw the sun go down,
a shimmering silhouette, whilst
the thief atop his watchtower
lit a final cigarette,
he has seen the sun at midnight
shining darkly,, shadow rays,
dancing  through the dark delights
of a ruptured world sun set.
Obadiah Grey Dec 2011
Who knocks up the knockerupper
who knocks us up fer work,
four hours after supper
that drives a man berserk!
three raps 'pon th' windowpane
fer early morning shift
hewin coyl 'neath mile o' soil
fer ten bob n short shrift.
Obadiah Grey Feb 2015
I quite like plastic sandals,
**** shaped candles,
and big assed women in my bed,
I like artistic folks and ***** jokes
and piccalilli on rye bread,
I like big gay men and Tony Benn,
loud mouthed scousers and Steven Fry,
I like The small faces whisky chasers
and come home Lassie - made me cry.
I like the upturned curl
of ******* dog lip
the hurl and swirl
of big girl hip.
I like Bevelled slick edges
and reeaal eeaasy slopes.
chilli dip wedges
with fresh artichokes.
wanton loose wenches
and swivel hipped ******
daft dawgs and dentures
and granddad - who snores.
Obadiah Grey Oct 2013
Bevelled slick edges,
and reeaal eeaasy slopes.
Chilli dip wedges
with fresh artichokes.
Wanton loose wenches
and swivel hipped ******
Daft dawgs and dentures
and granddad - who snores.
Obadiah Grey Nov 2012
Lapsang Souchong
two sugars n me,
are owft on a charabang
jaunt to the sea,
with pickled egg Mary-
her three pekinese,
who are hairy quite scary
n chopped owft at the knees,
we are bringing darjeeling
and Oolong along
to twiddle their tootsies
and fire up their ****.
Obadiah Grey Jun 2010
*** whipped

Where the hell has he man gone;
n why can’t I **** in bed.??

All true men are incarcerated,
trapped on a clitoral plane,
where knee **** reactions
drives a man insane,

We all wear pink pyjamas
frilly knickers and a bra,
wear our hair in pig tails
shave our ****** ,,YAY HURRAA. !!

They feed us up on retinol
give us optrex for our eyes
provide the silken stockings ,,
denier thirty,,, OOH nice thighs.

So where the hell has he man gone-
I would like to **** in bed,
but guess I’ll just mow the lawn;
do the feckin dishes  - instead.

Alan nettleton.
Obadiah Grey Sep 2011
"- Too bright the man -"

Met an overly confident man today-
he was bleeding profusely from the nose;
at his feet was strewn a life times
collection of bravado;
added little- by little- by little,
tiny victories accumulated whimsically
in the blue of youth
and hoisted aloft,

beside him stood an old-ish man; "unbleeding"-
light brown and unashamedly humble.
Obadiah Grey Jan 2014
To the left of kathmandu
sat a man bereft one shoe,
was one sandal shod
so he said to God
"oh Lord this just won't do,
I've holed my sole
and my begging bowl
has up n then gone missing,
now it's my mishap
that I've trod in crap
and I've got no ***
to **** in".
Obadiah Grey May 2010
wanted; - Liverpudlian rock stars
to sing fer me - the queen,
I'll pay yers all in corgies -
n transfuse ya wiv - caffine,
gorra bloke called ringo -
fer the bingo - inbetween,
support act - chewbacca -
n maca - in submarine.

Alan nettleton
Obadiah Grey Sep 2016
wanted;  
Liverpudlian rock stars
to sing fer me - the Queen,
I'll pay yers all in corgis  
and transfuse ya wiv - caffine,
I've gorra a bloke called Ringo  
fer the bingo - inbetween,
support act - Chewbacca -
and Macca - in yella submarine.
Obadiah Grey May 2018
'er pons and medulla oblongata
makes Annie the ****** a bit smarter
than the average gal, joe pete or al
and her mystery is - pro rata.
Obadiah Grey Mar 2016
leaf litter rustle
urcheon beneath the hedge row
mother and hoglets
Obadiah Grey Mar 2016
Gimbal eyed and shrugged -
at rooks caw and ravens croaked
shriven threaded dawn.

-------------------------------------------

Syllabically
­Oversimplification
Abomination
Obadiah Grey Jun 2018
I could wax on the wings of a butterfly
but, I aint that kinda o' guy.
rather kick the nuts off ******* squirrels
pull the wings off blue arsed fly.

I'm the stuff that flops off dog chops
when he's up fer it and high,
I'm a metaphor to drink s'more
I'm the toe nail in the pie.
Obadiah Grey Apr 2016
First, we fashioned
our gods of stone,
and then from
a sacred wood,

We even tried
out flesh and bone
but it wasn't
- quite as good,

we lauded him as
the "SON OF BOSS"
then promptly nailed
him - to the cross, !!

the next shall be
of ones and zeroes
pay per view
and pixelated -

a Super Hero.
Obadiah Grey Mar 2012
Divorce

I acquiesce to your request my dear
I’ll take my leave of thee,
just give me half the money dear
and divorce I will agree,
the marriage is truly over
this is plain to see,
it happened when ****** partners
increased from two – to three,

you couldn’t keep your legs shut
they were open good and wide,
just to let your lover
stuff his **** inside,
you say he’s a better lover;  
he’s sensitive and kind,
also that for the first time
******* you did find,

but  in my own defence dear-
and this I truly think,
your big and hairy *****
was rancid and did stink,
and your lover you should inform him;
oh - this isn’t just a tease!
if he’d care to inspect his *******
He’ll find a small disease,

'twas on a mate’s stag do
that I fell for a honey trap
I’m afraid you must inform him-
I acquired the ****** clap,
so let’s just call it even
and go our separate ways,
we’ll admit that hanky panky
never -feckin -pays.
Obadiah Grey Dec 2015
Croak with the raven
bluff with the crow
the urchin
the field mouse
beneath the hedgerow

Yelp with the *****
howl with the hound
and bay at the moon
till the sun comes around.
Obadiah Grey May 2010
but a breeze in the midst
of a storm at sea;
this precarious spark,
we; humanity,


Alan nettleton.
Obadiah Grey Sep 2010
Remember when bullets bounced off our chests;
when a goose steppin hoard o' mad men held no sway,
thick eyebrowed men plotted plans hunkered in bunkers,
But we could lick the likes of Adolf
-- any day


Remember when bullets bounced off our chests;
when the Ayatollah lobbed fatwas at our ****,
we could raise a middle digit - to the Eejit.
coz Rushdie was quite cusdie
-- what a farce.

Remember when bullets bounced off our chests;
Al Qaeda n the cowards planted bombs.
bin laden poked the eye of big bald eagle
was it legal; when he brought it home
-- to moms.

Remember when bullets bounced off our chests???
Obadiah Grey Feb 2011
We the pixies clench our buttocks..... Or up yours Dave...



There is tell of a foetid rancid hellish hole
in the wild wood,
only visible by half light - every leap year,
where thick knobbed hairy arsed gnomes
plot the buggering of slim hipped
virginal pixies.

they sit cross legged on woolsacks-
knitting ****** shaped thorny policies
for the inevitable insertion,
the thickest of **** and hairiest of ****
get to chew upon the sweetmeat
of the mythical proletariat in perpetuity
as a stipend for their buggery,,,

or so the tale goes...
Obadiah Grey Dec 2010
Whatchyaneed


God didn't give me a soul;
just lobbed me a baked bean tin
with something rattling inside,
said, "there ya go young un---
make do with that"-- so I did;

think it maybe a con job though,
the rattling thing must be getting soggy,
because it's stopped making noise.
Anyway I got curious; like you do,
bought myself a can opener and took a peek,

Discovered God must be a comedian
because there was a conker inside--
although beans on toast is my favourite meal,
and Conkers--------
my bestest game ever.
Obadiah Grey Jul 2015
Somewhere, there
is a fat man dancing,
and behind his rusty grin
lies a man thats lithe and thin.
Obadiah Grey May 2010
Would have been sarah,

missed it--
missed smoking the Cuban cigar;
getting ****** wetting her head,
I missed throwing up at her birth
reciting nursery rhymes
changing ****** nappies
and more much more;
I missed it,
the day she took her first step
I wasn't there,
didn't weep with pride
at the sound of her laughter
hold her hand
or walk her down the isle;

I didn't do it-- wasn't there,
-- but neither was she,,

Alan nettleton.
Obadiah Grey Jan 2011
Yesterday

We bound young wolves
with a palate of grey;
shackled a snowflake
in white,
we manacled the sun
unto the day;
tethered the moon
- to a night.

— The End —