Eminent professors everywhere,
even those bound to the chair,
all agree whid liddle ol' me-
we'll all be ****** eventually,

We're gonna die - we're gonna fry
pucker up n kiss yer **** g'bye.
it's difficult to comprehend
jus' when this **** is gonna end,

In a ball o' fire we're in the mire-
jeeezzus man we'll all expire !
it may be quick o'er in flick;
clock is ticking tick tock tick,

Or it maybe slow the way ya go
- jus' 'nuf time for one more blow,
either ways it's fair to say
we're gonna end up - - consommé.

Ode to David Cameron.

This day upon a gibbet stage;
there will Thoth be hung,
alas no more to turn a page
o' Einstein Freud; or Jung.

to dance the jig 'pon corbled rig
to swing there; decomposing,
where bibliophiles and sacred files
lament the libraries; you are a closing.

Who knocks up the knockerupper
who knocks us up fer work,
four hours after supper
that drives a man berserk!
three raps 'pon th' windowpane
fer early morning shift
hewin coyl 'neath mile o' soil
fer ten bob n short shrift.

I hurple t'ward the Wabbit Warren
of pomposity;
a reynard of levity,
lost.

lollop,,,,,,,, that's a good word innit?

Perhaps the moon valiant
shall vanquish this days ire,
for a suns radiant
sad Soliloquy pales in twilight
burnished,

but a bruised blind mute
in awe of Dianas flight.

RIP,,, Obadiah.

here lies the body of Obadiah grey
choked on a bowl of soup they say
bought from Tesco’s last tuesday
fifty nine pence beef consommé,

Obadiah Obadiah Obadiah grey,
sure don’t smell a sweet bouquet,

here lies the body of Obadiah grey,
departed life yesterday,
ate too much of the free buffet
silly **** now has to pay,

Obadiah Obadiah Obadiah grey,
already started to decay................YAY!!!

We bunged up his holes
n buried him deep;
because the ******'s dead now
and began to seep.

Dear Gawd......I wanna be Pope..

I never ride backwards
on train or bus,
I never profane,
blaspheme or cuss,
I'm limpid,
riven of diaphanous stuff
never been given,
to a female ****.
I'm penitent, contrite –
shriven of sin,
compliant, reliant,
I'm bendy n thin.
not quite castrato,
gives good vibrato
to choirboys mullato
with bellybutton fluff.