it's driving me crazy
it drives me insane
your indifference, lazy
agonising and plain.

it's making me nauseous
it's making me ill
i knock on your doors
but you run for the hills.

no matter what happens
im trying to choke
suffocate this vain feelings
turn my pain into smoke

i dont eat, there's no point
i dont breathe
leave me alone.
stop reappearing
but how can i delete
delete poisonous feelings
that i turn into wit.

this one's to say i love you
now and ever
this one's to say my lies
are only fever.

im drunk and this might not make any sense
but i will drop the veil,
abandon the pretence
and say i love you,
not to you of course
i dont think i am strong enough
to face remorse

you boast, you lie, you're confident as ****.
im awkward, i am pretty, i'd say very drunk.

you're happy, you dont bother
why should i?
oh yeah, that's right
i am a female
i am never fine.
im always overthinking
always analysing
the words you say
the nouns, the verbs
what you're disguising

The chains you put on me
dragging me down
the pain you caused
is eating me alive
but i stay calm

i need you
please oh be with me
oh please
i know i am not good enough
i'd rather you would **** me
make it easy.

i scratch my head
and pull my hair
i run my fingers down my chest
i think of you
i think of us
i drown, i crumble
im your chess.

your name
i wish i could just say your name aloud
and not be scared
i want to scream your name
but i wont yet.
i'd wait
i'd wait until the very end
and say your name under my breath
i hate this.
i hate every moment, every second
but i want "us".  
but i love you
so i am fine
and merry christmas.

the guy i love is flawless.
his eyes are blue, though dark
the guy i love is perfect
the guy i love loves back.

the guy  i dream of daily
my one and only friend.
the guy i love is near me,
he'll be until the end.

and envious my girlfriends
can never look away
i am lost sea, an ocean
he is my home, my bay.

the guy i love is perfect
oh, what a fine creation!
too bad the guy i love lives
in my imagination.

I am tired and nearly forgotten
I look fresh but my insides are rotten.
I am fading away like the smoke
Disappearing like time
Unlike you I am broke

I am sleepy im nearly down under
Buried as if Im supposed to be
I am light I am heavy addictive
Though you seem to be immune to me

love is love and i'll never recover.
Love is love and i'll always relapse
every time i think i've got it covered
you pop up and i cant think that much.

just a phrase, nothing promising, heavy
but for some reason always enough
to throw me off a cliff, feeling dreary
with this creepy and neurotic laugh.

and i see you once every year
but in my head we're never afar
and i carry this lingering fear
i will die never crossing your path.

love is love so i'll never feel better
i will never feel entirely free.
im relapsing, but you've got it covered
love is love, woe is me, woe is me.

You are the ache in my head
The deep black hole in bossom
Youre the devil from hell
And a Saint, heaven's gossip.

no please dont like me
oh please dont love me
order your heart to
not try the wrong sea.