Memories in my head are like sand on a beach...
Grains that have gathered for ages...
Some on the surface and some way down deep...
I can pull them up like turning pages.

Each memory is like a grain of sand...
Each grain unique unto itself...
Not all so great, but others so grand...
Shuffled by the sea like books upon a shelf...

My mind is always shifting like the sands...
Forever manipulated by the ocean...
Like watery fingers from the the seas hands...
That can take away or leave behind, like a magic potion...

I try to walk slowly upon my beach...
With wonder and an open mind...
I try to learn all I can and also try to teach...
Always amazed at what I will find...

Tread lightly and keep watch of the tides...
Each grain can be very precious...
Every moment won't be a glorious ride...
But things like a child's giggle can become infectious...

Age, like the tide will creep up on us all...
Memories will be swept away by the waves...
Some will become harder to recall...
But, the best ones of all, we'll take to our graves...

"What are you searching for in a relationship?"
I'm searching for someone that is kind and unselfish, honest and funny...
That is ready for someone like me to call "Honey".....
I want someone that will tell me the truth
at the drop of a hat...
Someone that will tell me the truth when I ask
"Does this outfit make me look fat?"
I want someone that is ready for a silly kinda woman...
that is ready to give all...
Ready to surrender her soul, willing to take the fall...
into that next phase of life.. the one that really counts...
One that is not afraid of taking one more bite ..
because it may cause her to gain an ounce.
I want someone that will love me unconditionally...
and will get that in return...
Is this too much to ask?.. That is my concern..
Everyone seems to want just a little bit more...
so they're not willing to close that door...
The one that is open to the world...
the one that might lead them to that "perfect" girl...
I want someone that will realize, I'm right here...
and willing to go forward without any fear...
You see, I want to close that door so badly...
and I want to fall in love so madly....
with someone that feels the same...
So we can rest comfortably in each other...forever...
and remove ourselves from the game...

I swear sometimes...
I cannot help loosing control...
They say it is mind over matter...
But, it is so deep into my soul...

The writing helps as long as reality stays afar...
But, it is when it comes crashing at me...
Like a drunk in a huge car...

That is when I try to jump...
To get out of their way...
And land right back in it...
Not knowing what to say...

I wish I could go back in time...
Try to get my emotions inline...
Just stick with the rhymes...

Instead I threw my words...
Right into your face...
Where you had no choice...
To ignore or embrace...

For that I am truly sorry...
I probably ruined...
What might have been...
A beautiful friendship...

I tried to get a hold on it...
But, I lost my grip...
All because of this thing on my shoulder...
This.... **** chip...

I did fall head over heals for you...
For that I am not sorry...
I am sorry for the way I handled it...
leaving you with a sour view...

My personality needs some construction...
All I can do is apologize for my...
Self  destruction.

I can write on paper all day long...
Sometimes words, they flow out of me...
Some week, some strong...

Feelings that I can't explain...
That roll around in my head...
Bouncing around in my brain...

For so long I thought I had a handle on things...
Then you made your entrance...
funny what life brings...

God, you're so beautiful...
Sometimes it hurts to look at you...
I told you once, you take my breath away...
You have that effect on me every single day...

And I wanted everything about me to change...

I didn't think I was good enough...
Wanted you to see how cool and funny I could be...
How confident I was...
Problem was I couldn't seem to do it without a buzz...

But, I was none of those things and the more I tried...
the worse I made it, the worse I got...
became something I am definitely not...

I finally realized I should have stayed...
the way I was, I was just fine...
Quite, soft spoken, no need for the wine...

Because, that is who I am...
And I am good enough...
I realized that just plain me...
Was the person you really wanted me to be...

I just hope I woke up in time...
I hope you still want to see...
That the person in front of you now...
is the real me...