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Julianna Dec 2020
We are writing our from our hearts
Red ink staining the pages
We are writing with our hearts
Each word in rhythm
We are showing everyone our hearts
So that no one can see the wounds elsewhere
We are convincing ourselves that if our heart still beats
There is no problem.
But our hearts are beating our blood away
Julianna Dec 2020
My heart tightens my rib cage traps my lungs
these are part of a dance we’ve done many times
a dance where one partner is trying to run
and the other  is trying to waltz.
You do not get a head start,
there is no finish line or trophy.
You just hope that the next dance is slower,
The steps are less hard, and the partner less willing to dance.
Julianna Dec 2020
My skin is red there
its peeling there
So I pull.
I pull at this pain that traps me;
I pull away the suffering;
I pull away the memories,
the hurt too much to keep.
But when I am done pulling
what will remain of me
Julianna Dec 2020
I am trying to write a letter to the man who tried to save me.
I don’t know what to say
And maybe that's why I stop
Maybe that's why the ground remains the same distance away.
Maybe that's why the bridge doesn’t win this time.
The characters of ‘dear teacher’
are the only things that mark the page
Julianna Dec 2020
our relationship was like confetti
the parties gone, the guests have left
but it sits, damp, lifeless, alone
in the grass

Our relation ship was like glitter
even though the sparkle is gone,
its still turning up
in the couch cushions

Our relationship is like the party long gone
every loves to reminisce
but no one wishes they'd stayed longer
Julianna Nov 2020
I roll the words I say to you around in my mouth,
Making sure I will feel good about them later
But of course, I don’t.
Later I will curse my words, and wish I spent them more wisely.
There is always more to say to you.
I want to tell you how I used to make sandcastles out of plastic cups,
I want to tell you how everyday I wonder if the person next to me is depressed
I want to tell you what book I’m reading.
I want to tell you I’m lesbian.
To tell you though I would have to spend a lot of words
Julianna Nov 2020
The memories I made with you no longer fit with me
But I can't decide whether to weigh them down
Or set them free

I made these memories on a stormy sea
But where doesn’t matter
Because you were with me

Now you're gone
But don't come back
I no longer sail on seas like that
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