I want to love you like how I'm meant to love you
The truth is I know that love will never be true

I want to love you but it will never be real
The love we both want is not how I feel

The love I have is different from yours
Mine is restricting making me want to explode out of my pores

Maybe if I wasn't born this way then I could love you how I want to
Maybe if I was born the right way I could love you how I'm meant to

No longer will I hide in the dark cracks of the world we live in
The shadows that lurk beneath my skull will be ****** out like the marrow in our bones.
No longer will I cry as the screams of life ring in my ears,
Now the ring is the sound of the bells in the night.
It’s as if the world was flipped, turned inside out like my guts
The guts are something you need, you need to have guts to keep living.
Life comes with knives that are constantly thrown at you,
Shield yourself from the shadows and you can be the light to lead your own path
Do not live to die, live to live

Sprinting through the blades off grass through the midnight wind
The night hears my footsteps but I hear the music in my ears
Running and spinning it’s nauseating
Diving into the piercing cold lake sending a shock throughout my nervous system, jump starting my heart.
Holding my breath so the liquid doesn’t fill my lungs, the lack of oxygen will burst my them instead of the water that will fill them later.
I beg and beg to stop running, I plead as I wish to hear my footsteps and not the music sprinting in my head
I hold my breath and the music stops
I breath and the music plays
Both will **** me, one quicker than the other
One will drive me into a spiral of insanity
One will drive me into cardiac arrest
In the end the music will stop
Maybe more to life after you take your last breath
Only time will tell

Soft sand under my feet soon turns to aching rocks as you keep walking forward
A trail of footprints left behind from every moment you keep walking
The rocks in my feet are harder to ignore when they’re staring right at me
I can’t stop walking or the world will stop spinning
But the rocks grow and my feet bleed
I bleed, and bleed until I bleed no more
Seeping into the rocks which then turn into sand
I’m now a part of the earth that kills me, apart of the nature that should nurture me

Pounding, the parade of drums that pound in my chest.
Shrinking, both my lungs and my body that deflate.
Pouring, sweat pouring out of each pour in my skin, dripping down into a puddle of tears.
My ears feel as if they're waiting to pop, my mind departs from my body as it ascends to the atmosphere above.
Lost, I feel lost as my reflection stares back at me.
The name I was given feels foreign on my tongue as I repeat it over and over hoping it will come back.
As my name crawls away like a scared child I lose recognition of who I was.

Who am I
What am I

As I continue to stare into my soulless eyes, my name is there in the back of my head.
This name is not the one that crawled away from me, but it's a name I'm crawling too.
My hunched over figure perks up like a flower after a downpour
I hold my hand and grasp onto the name that found me.

I know who I am
I know what I am

I am an alien to my own species
Not the green bug eyed creature, I blend in
One foot out of line suddenly all the eyes of the world lock onto my face, the squinting looks that pierce my soul
One foot too far and now you're no longer human, you're a show animal to be judged
One foot too far you trip, tumbling down the never ending white staircase that leads to the pits of hell and beyond, trying to climb up to the white gateway, one foot out you slip and fall again

The light flickers in the night sky
Chains tighten around my heart, tugging as it tries to escape the black hole that consumes me
Fire burns in my eyes as they’re being set ablaze by the sight they can’t yet see
Heat rises to my cheeks like an active volcano erupting from being idol for to long
I am a dying star waiting to burst into shards of colour that can pierce your soul
I am a nebula bound to catch your eye, you are light years away, I am out of your reach inside the glass doors that hold me captive
Hiding away in the small room where one keeps their clothes, the colours of the stars leak through the cracks underneath the doors trying to reach you

Sunk into the ocean of the abyss, the rope pulls me out
The whip slaps me back down as the angels circle around
Falling back into the ocean, trying to drink my way out until it fills me up