Oh how greatful i am that you have come into my life. The anticipation is overwhelming,  thinking of one day bejng your wife. I wish i could show you, how loved you make me feel. And i know that yours is the touch that showed me live is real. As i lie in bed at night, i wish you were hear. Hand grabing firmly yet gently from ear to ear. I shouldnt be doing this, i need to get some rest. But with thoughts of you my hands softly caress my breast. I other hand wondering down my sheets to find such a mess. I dream of you often and what our life would be like, holding hands as we walk the beach and the children on bikes. Do you want what i want, can you see what i see?  I wake up with a small puddle under me.  I wish  you could taste it, its so phat soft and sweet. Griping your head firmly, bon appetite. I need to get up and take a shower, but that may make it worst. Ill use cold water to calm me dowm although i shouldve use warm water first. This is not working, i need something inside. You are not able to come so ill shallow my pride. That thing my sister bought me, never tried but im pretty sure it will work. She said it easy enough, stick it to the floor or wall and twerk. I dont know if i could do this, nor have i ever wanted to try. But my urges are overwhelming and im sensitive all over, no lie. I guess ill go and get it, it seems to be the only option i have. ( as i walk, day dreaming of that time you were in the bath. I placed a towel on your face, because i didnt want you to see. Then i picked him and put him in my mouth and ****** like a slurpy. Then slowly step in and got right into place, so i could sit down, not in the water but on your face.) Ive made it to my room and for sure ive changed my mind, only because i waited so long  amd mom will be here anytime. Well, maybe for a little bit, no one here to catch me, but just as i started, a bang at the door. Who, could that be? Why are they pounding so hard, **** i wish someone would pound me. I run to door swing ot open, its my baby. I dont know or care how you got here. I just really need you to help me, you see i have this inch, inside, deep in my *****. Do you think you can help me? Do you think you can reach?  Bent me over daddy, im your student, ready for you to teach. As crawl on all four and the you soft grab my hair. I start to leak a little and wake up again amd you are not there.  ****, i was so close, but not close enough it would seem, well back to sleep to try and continue that dream.

(From her perspective)

I am hurting in inside, and i dont know what to do. Because  on hand I love, want,  but the other hand i cant stand you. Why do you make me feel this way? Why do i allow it? I was fine before i fell for you, so i know your love i can do with out it. But how? i dont want to.  I wish i could pour into you the words, i need to hear.  To quall my hopes, and subsidie my fears. But it not my places, these things need to be done on your own, in your own space. How do we move forward, when my pleas are falling to deaf ear. We could be talking, but it seem as if your not here. Sweep me off my feet, hold me and tell me you love me.  Not just you love me, so you can touch me.  Where are we going? What do you want for us? This relationship, i hope is build on more then lust. What do you need from me? What can i do to make you happy? Do you see us years from now living happily? Tell me how will we get there? Because there is so, so far from here. And when i think about all of this, my eyes start to tear.  Because it cannot be what i want, but what is best for us as we move on. I just hope we figure it out before this feel is all gone.

(From her prospective)
There is no one i want to make me feel the way you do. I know this sounds corny , but you turned my gray skies blue. There is no one, but you that i want to share my life with. I will hold your secrets and love and take an oath or pled the 5th. We can be so great together, if only you could see. There is no better life for you without me. I know how that sounds and its pretty confident of me but i know what you need, its quite easy to see. You need someone to hold you, when the cold nights are long, you need someone to stand up to you and tell you your wrong. You need someone that gonna always have you back, you need someone who is there to help pick up the slack. I want to be that someone, if only you could see. Instead we fight over petty things, and whose to blame , Me. We could be so great together, i feel it because i have already gotten a taste. But then some days i just want to mush you in the face. Not physically but figuratively. Do you want me? Baby why is this are tough, we push and pull, but i fear one day we both will have had enough.
I will project just a bit, so you can see, what i see. 5 years down the road. Its you, OUR children and me. In our own home living stress free. Me rubbing your head as we watch tv.  And you hilding me tightly as we drift to sleep. Can you see it? Do you want to? Because all i know is i want you. But i dont want the pain you bring when you dont get your way. The word you say in such a way. I dont want that, why would you say such words, knowing that the pain they cause, how would you feel if thats what you heard? I have waited to find someone to love me for me but i wont compromise what ive built,  it sound harsh but im speaking clearly.  I sometime wonder do i live with "in love" glasses on, i bypass all the stuff you do even though i know its wrong. Was i so lonely that i let my standards slip? Because in time pass if anyone would have done some of the things you have done, i been would have dipped. A heart is a very fragle thing, very similar to glass. Once it broke there no other option but to throw it in the trash. Our life can be as great as we want it to be, as long as we handle our business, well be together like fish in sea. I could go on and on about what life would be like but if you dont want this please just walk out of my life, dont get my hopes up of one day being your wife. Just go and dont look back, and when  your sad and lonely, dont call me just think back. Think of what you had and what you have lost. I want this but at what cost? Do you see where im coming from and can you see where i going. I had fallen for you with me even knowing. So yes i have high expectations, because you did this to me. So keep your word and make me happy.

I got demons on my shoulder telling me what am I supposed to do. Confused.... should I listen and is what they're telling me is true?

Your supposed to have an angel and the other, well you know but I seem to have two of the same so is hell were I'm dynasted to go?

I tried to get advise but everything they seem to say is wrong. And if I continue down the path I'm going I know I won't last for to long.

It could be the simplest question, basic things you go thru in life. Yet the answer always seems be the same and ends with me under the knife.

I thought about not listening but then again why not, the choices we make are our and the answer we seem to have forgot.

So if you have to demons like me, mind the the things you say and do, because when you look in the mirror there are no demon, it's just you.

If you only knew what I ive long to do to you, what would you say better what would you do.
I can tell you now that I never wanted anything more, Like a astronaut dying to explore.
Reaching new places no one has yet seen, ill break it down a little more so you know what i mean.
Passion for you expressed but never shown, the love of a queen from a king on his throne.
If you only knew that I would take you away, shall we hide  and ride this cloud until judgement day.

Sometimes is life you want people to do things but it doesnt always work like that.
Ive found if you let them do it on their own it will normally work out.
Two halfs make a whole. Puzzle pieces naturally fit.
Sometime waiting on the wrong person you will loose the right person.
Live life and always keep your head up. Love yourself. And dont  wait for anything, waiting and looking on for the wrong bus, an the right bus will pass you by.

In my opinion there 3 types of love. UNCONDITIONAL  love, LUST love and SETTLED love. Let me explain:

(Settled) Sometimes if life you come across people that you think you have that forever, unconditional love, but truly you just SETTLED. You may have a few things in common, you like the same stuff and yet you still find yourself thinking of someone else or you still find yourself hurting, afraid to be alone. Afraid of what going to happen to the kids. Stop using your kids to settle, the best love for you will be the best love for them.
(LUST)
I can make you feel good right now, really good, I could kiss the nape of your neck as my fingers crawl up the back of your head. Gaze into your eyes, kiss your lips softly as my hand slowly moves across the rest of your body. Whispering ***** deeds in your ear. Exploiting the stream now flowing down your thigh. Any way you get the picture.  
(UNCONDITIONAL)
Im broke and i cant get you anything today but i call you up and say I LOVE YOU, i took the time to write you a letter and made you a paper heart. I get home and you dont care about anything, your just happy to see me. I give you the letter and the heart that i made. As a tear flows down your face you except them saying these are getter that any money i could have paid.  Which love do you have??