death and fear either makes us, or breaks us
it will change us, or show our true colors
it helps us realize who we can trust
and makes us hate something we once didn't

panic shows in our eyes, like we're animals
it claws in our mind until we're insane
drives us up the wall until we rocking back and forth
we sit there wishing for it all to stop, to shut up,
but it won't

I wrote how I felt
on a small slip of paper
and I threw it
into the ocean
to never been seen
*again

I checked my phone every moment I could
and I tried not to get excited when I got a message
I hoped that it was you every time
but I don't know what I expected

Did you even remember what yesterday was?
Have you any idea how badly I want to talk to you?
I want to know how you are, and what's been going on
I want to hug you and breathe in your familiar smell

All I wanted was a message from you
It didn't even have to be long
'happy birthday', would have been enough
but I guess even that was too much to ask for