Sometimes some things happen that change your life forever,
Some secrets revealed that break you apart.
Some words they say that pierces the soul.
People call me fake, I pretend to care they say
For I have that smily face to disguise me well
They don't know how difficult it is for me
When I m sitting alone in a room with my thoughts
Those haunting thoughts
The images stuck in my head
Mind is a wild thing , you see
It lets you see things even when you are not there..
The rumors I heard, the pictures I paint
I don't know how much they resonate
But they haunt me..
Pictures of you holding someone else in your arm
Cuddling and falling asleep..

It's a year now since we parted our ways..
A lot happened in a year
Feelings changed, I changed
I cant say I feel for you the same way I did
I cant say I miss you the same way I did
It's true when they say
Moving on and getting over are different things
Certainly,
I can say I have moved on
I can say I dont want you back
But I hesitate if I have gotten over you
Its weird how we cant hate the person we once loved
How much you rant , how much you cry
The anger dies, the ego dies
But the love remains...
Yes, I cant say I still love you
But I can say I can never hate you...

why do we all want things we cant have...........

I remember the weather that day
The rain had stopped but it was still gloomy
The sky was trying to make its way out of the angry clouds
But the clouds were stubborn as ever
What a perfect weather for coffee and cigarette
He had said Come over, I ll make you a good one...

We sat in the kitchen
Sipping coffee and smoking cigarettes
Laughing about stupid stuffs
Then he pulled me closer
Smelled my hair and pulled my cheeks
And asked if I liked the coffee
I just nodded and smirked
He could notice the blush in my face

Soon we were in his bedroom
Listening to my favorite playlist
He pulled the blanket and asked me if I m cold
I said nothing , just smiled
I was astonished how he could easily do that
I could feel that weird magnetism between us
Pulling us closer and closer
I wasnt sure about what was about to happen
Neither I was sure if I wanted anything to happen
All I knew was, it felt good
Good to be surrounded by the abundance of love

He looked into my eyes..
He could see that agreeable denial.
Then he smiled and kissed my forhead..
I said I was tired and wanted to sleep
He said nothing, just wrapped his arms around me and said its okay
When I woke up he was still staring at me
That deep brown eyes, looked like a honey pool
He leaned closer and kissed my lips
Then our tongues did the sweet wrestling
His hands did the flow
Unhooked my bra and caressed my body..

It didn't matter if we were right or wrong
All that mattered was that moment
The moment when our loneliness faded
Then my phone buzzed and a text popped
"I miss you love" it said...
Then, I pushed him away
Telling you ll fall in love
But then he kissed my lips and said no I wont..
But deep down I knew the truth
He wouldn't fall in love because he already was..

Maybe your jokes aren't that funny..
But I laugh anyway..
So now you think you have got the way to my heart...
Maybe I modify the thoughts in my head..
When I tell you what I like..
So now you think you can certainly make me happy...
Maybe I dont miss you that much...
When I tell you my feelings resonate with that melody..
But now you think I think of you most of the time...

I am trying to hold back my feelings
Because I don't wanna fall in love again
I have known love is no good for me
It will only wreck what is left

What will you do if you become the person you never wanted to be???