I'm lifeless

Running out of time
Inbetween wanting and desiring nothing
Things are never easy, it comes and goes
They say life is priceless,
doesn't mean much to me
I look in the mirror and only see hate
there's nothing inside me worth wanting
nothing out here worth touching
just can't shrug off my tears
cause I've lived this life
beneath a mountain of fear

I'm nothing, nobody, and I just can't keep up
with everything everyone wants, always been a ******
I'm diseased, plagued by failed wantings
every moment passes with a bit too much haste
this life will be nothing if not in vain
I seek remedy to rivers overflowed in pain

and in the end, will I get anything I've wanted?
can't stand to live without my emotions being blunted
so I hide away in days best left unsaid,
and forgive me cause' all I'm saying is nothing worth reading,
and the entirety of whats to come,
doesn't deserve repeating.

i still havent figured out the greatest answer
the things ive seen
i dont know really
i dont
and is that why im still here?
because i always did
and i always will

know scars from depths and heavens lashings
felt coal and fought the demons pleading
been starving cold and hungry
been all alone
ive been alone
but i know the way the season changes
i know cherry blossoms and sweetest honey
taste the nectar of my eternal spring
i felt love
of the way the sunrises

pyramids
slow down
find the reason why

i had a talk with myself the other day
i told myself to be strong
like i was before
like i am all along
and that even this pain will be something
i laugh at