J - Hello Poetry

J Jan 2012

i tried so hard
to send you winter
in a letter

i went outside
collected snowflakes
and foolishly pressed them
into the pages
the ink ran
and my thoughts
melted away

i wanted to save winter

capture it in a bottle
and hide it
between my lungs
so my every breath
would be cold
and my voice
would taste like snow

i thought
maybe
if i could take
that bluish-grey sky
and shove it between
my ribs
and swallow
every
dead
leaf
you would see frost coated grass
and think of me

... and
i could give you
winter

f o r e v e r

J Dec 2011

stranger

long days and restless nights
thin lips part to reveal a voice of sand
silently screaming at those around him
he wore his pain on his brow
***** and wrinkled like the shirt on his back

... that is supposed to go with this: http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv7t6qFSDL1qzb4fio1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires;=1324381434&Signature;=ss3RWzpKolFEvcd3BLhh%2FL1b1KI%3D

just a quick little sketch of a stranger.

J Dec 2011

Seventeen

With a runny nose
Shaking hands
And unsure thoughts
I got on my knees
And begged

Not with words
Or
With tears
But with my lips
And my tongue

His **** filling my mouth
His hand forcing my head
Eyes closed
I could feel his body tremble
Smell his sweat

A few heavy thrusts
Followed by even heavier gags
He grabbed my hand
Helped me up
And slipped a reward into my coat pocket

'... this is the last time'
I whispered

'You always say that'

The walk home seemed to last years
Prolonged by feelings of disgust
I could feel the people
Of the city streets
Silently judging me

I locked myself in the bathroom
Cut the fattest line
My body could handle
And snorted away my
Shame

J Dec 2011

To every guy that I've ******

Thank you

I liked it
(75% of the time)
Caught up in the drug-like feelings of lust
You reminded me
That I am desirable

So **** me

And let me know that

I

AM

NOT

FAT

... even though the feeling never lasts

And be there
Every time I need my fix
Because
I need my fix

But don't love me
I can't
love you back

Years of
'You'll never be good enough'
And
'You are so ugly'
Along with unwelcome touches
From men twice my age
Has left me broken
Far beyond repair

Confused
Because he said he loved me
But proceeded to beat me until

I

couldn't

move

So don't love me
I don't know how
to love you back

And please don't hate me
For sneaking out while you're asleep
Because I wouldn't be able to handle
You sneaking out before I wake up

I'm sorry

But
If there's a slight chance
That you might actually care
about
ME

Just...
stay

I can't give you much
But
I promise

I will
*******

Every

Single

Chance

I

Get

J Dec 2011

Blood Moon

I gazed up at the moon
It's usual glow of silver and pearl
Replaced by a haze of deep, blood red

There was a scientific explanation for this
Something about sun's rays being blocked
Something about light particles

I didn't really care

All I knew was
On that beautiful rare night
You were not standing beside me
But it almost felt that way

The sky is always the same

J Dec 2011

Untitled

Every word that ever escaped your thin lips
Wrapped around trees like silk ribbons
I can hear you in the wind

When it rains
Your warm breaths coat my body like oil
Protecting every flaw

Your soul burns hot on the tip
Of my l a s t cigarette
I can feel it in my lungs

And I love you
... more than I will ever
let on

Your every bone may lie
Six feet beneath our world
Flesh, decayed to almost nothing

But as long as the sun shall rise
YOU...WILL...NEVER
die

In memory of my most loved

J Dec 2011

Strawberry Gashes

She dragged her nails across pale skin, digging
into her flesh and relished in the the pain, curling
her fingers across punctured plains.
She bled crimson but it didn't satiate her guilt.