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 Nov 2012 Nicolette D
Tessellate
i had a thought.
i ran out of my room,
down the hallway,
and into the bathroom.

i wriggled out of my worn down, tie dye shirt.
hopping up and down as i pull off my
high-waisted jeans, pulling my pant leg with my foot as i
trample the dark denim to the ground.

i stand there naked, in front of the
harsh, full length mirror.
combing my fingers through my natural, wavy hair.
i contort my face in disgust, cocking
my head slightly to the side.

i close my eyes, and take one deep breath in.
when i open my eyes,
the reflection staring back at me is a thin, natural
beauty.

Her smooth ivory skin glows in the
silvery reflective glass.
Her stomach is flat and toned.
Her ******* lay on Her chest in perfect
proportion to the rest of her petite frame.

i run my fingers down the sides of my body.
my palms trailing along, dipping and
rising with the mounds beneath my skin.

i close my eyes and open them again,
this time taking my reflection for
what it really is.

i am fat.
my skin is pink and spotted with freckles the
colour of blood.

my stomach hangs low, covering the part
a man should see when i'm naked.

my ******* are big.
but not in the way you'd like them to be.
they lay there, sort of lop-sided.
hanging just above my ribs. Another place for
fat to take over.

the cuts on my thighs are hardly noticable
next to

all

that

fat

i can see tears in the eyes of the reflection staring back at me,
but i am numb.

i thought correctly. i am
fat. i am ugly.
Nobody in their right mind would want to
love me.
This distance between you and me,
Feels like it's half a world and it just might be.
Wherever you are, or ever might go
Know that I'm still waiting for you.
Waiting to hold your hand in mine,
Embrace your sweet skin in my arms.
I wait for the day.

Beyond the frosted glass there you are,
Touch you I could not,
If I called you couldn't hear.
With no visible way of interaction,
Hope is lost for an ever after,
And my heart overweight.
I wait for the day.

Keep looking forward to the day we meet
For the light in our eyes shall brighten the sky again,
Move on forward and destiny might plan the day
When both our paths entwine and merge
Oh glorious day that day will be.
Forever and ever after might be written on my sheet.
I'll definitely wait for that day.

I'll patiently wait for that day
When we can indulge in our time,
Go through life together like a game
By earning achievements and ranks.
Grow old together and gross our kin
With the passion and love we share.
Oh how I keep waiting for the day.

When I see you out in the distance
Dashing as anyone could be
Not long now until we meet
And say hello and I'd love to spend my time with you,
Laugh and cuddle together under the mellow moon,
Watch the meteor shower and end the night with a kiss.
I've been waiting for the day.

Lights go out and the day turns into night.
A hint of light coming from a corner
The curtains open and unveil
I'm all alone in the moonlit night,
Thinking about the days I lie waiting for you.
Avarious Ignis Ragnarok 10/31/12
This is not an angsty teenage poem
of love lost in that moment when you realized you wern't the exception
This isn't the story of love found over a cup of coffee
This is the poem for those who cannot speak
afraid of the havoc their words will wreak
the voices that tell stories worth sharing
wanting to be set free
to see light
to scream
Those who sit in fear
of not being believed
and for those who's name they'll never speak
The star athlete
the man down the street
the man in the corner of the bar
their best friends brother,  in his car.
this is a poem for those who shed tears and wish they were layers of skin
this is the poem for words unspoken
for those who wish that all they lost was love
for those who's tongue's gone numb
for those who wish this was an angsty teenage poem.
I'm not amazing but I tried so.....
 Nov 2012 Nicolette D
chrissy who
I’m sorry I wrote you.
I’m sorry I’m as weak as I told you.
I’m sorry I wasn’t lying.
I’m sorry I never lied.
I’m sorry for all the broken nights
I’m sorry I couldn’t fix them.
I’m sorry I couldn’t fix myself
I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.
I’m sorry I messed everything up
I’m sorry I couldn’t take it anymore.
I’m sorry I got tired of being alone
I’m sorry the permanence makes it easier.
I’m sorry you can’t write anymore.
I’m sorry I never could.
I’m sorry you couldn’t see yourself how I always saw you
I’m sorry you can’t see what I still see.
I’m sorry I loved you.
I’m sorry I loved you harder than I’ve loved anyone else
I’m sorry you made me question myself.
I’m sorry it ended this way.
I’m sorry I kept writing because I didn’t know how not to
I’m sorry you told me I could.
I’m sorry I didn’t listen when you said I should stop
I’m sorry I didn’t listen when everyone said I should stop.
I’m sorry I took all those nights seriously.
I’m sorry I believed every word you said.
Well…not every word.
I’m sorry I became such a problem
I’m sorry nobody listened to me.
I’m sorry for being right.
I’m sorry the permanence makes it easier.
I’m sorry I failed you.
I’m sorry I took the hit
I’m sorry I asked you to do that
I’m sorry I let you
I’m sorry you didn’t listen.
I’m sorry I couldn’t stand seeing the bracelet anymore
Or the pictures
Or the letters
Or the poem.
I’m sorry I can’t touch them without getting nauseous.
I’m sorry the permanence makes it easier.
I’m sorry I don’t even hurt that much anymore.
I’m sorry I don’t think of you as often as I should
I’m sorry you’re not sorry that I don’t think of you as often as I used to think I should
I’m sorry it ended this way.
I’m sorry you don’t care.
I’m sorry I don’t believe your goodbye
I’m sorry I don’t believe any of it.
I’m sorry I don’t care.
I’m sorry I sort of wish it was different
I’m sorry I think this is probably for the best.
I’m sorry I can’t be there to fix it
I’m sorry you let me go.
I’m sorry the other side of this coin is gone,
Your half dozen of these tacos are still here,
We never watched Finding Nemo.
You never finished renaming the constellations.
I’m sorry I never finished teaching them to you.
I’m sorry bandanas are now out of your life
I’m sorry you never wear sports bras.
I’m sorry my hands feel empty and naked
Now that yours are gone.
I’m sorry your hand was the best thing that ever happened to mine.
I’m sorry that was such a cheesy line.
I’m sorry I want a hair-cut
I’m sorry I want to chop it all off.
I’m sorry you’ve ruined that side of town for me
I’m sorry I’m no longer allowed.
I’m sorry it ended this way.
I’m sorry I would want to forget me too.
I’m sorry I kept writing letters
I’m sorry you never read them
I’m sorry I never will again.
Here I sit, alone at my desk.
Alone with myself, not always the best.
I sit and I ponder, I wonder what next.
For this soul left asunder, alone at his desk.

Be single they say, it's all for the best.
"For the best?" I stressed, maybe for the rest.
For this soul who sits, alone at his desk.
Alone with himself, is not for the best.
 Nov 2012 Nicolette D
Emma Brown
Are you afraid of the dark?
Do you stray from the night?
Are you safe in the glow of a candle’s light?

And do you hold a friend’s hand,
When you pass through the eve,
While imagining evils youth often perceive?

It’s a little bit funny,
And a little bit sad,
But the darkness, you see, really isn’t that bad,

It’s misunderstood,
Hated and feared,
Distrusted and dreaded since the monsters appeared,

They may own it now,
But they didn’t before,
The day was once host to the evils of lore,

But we still fear the things,
That we don’t see or know,
And in the cover of daytime, the evils don’t show,

So we fear the things,
That go bump in the dark,
But the daytime, you see, is no walk in the park,

Those monsters exist,
All around you, I fear,
And because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t here,

They walk all around you,
In a humanlike guise,
And possess the trusted, the loved and the wise,

Monsters walk in the daylight,
They’re all over the place,
Behind the eyes of a stranger or a familiar face,

But when the sun goes down,
Their masks pull away,
And the monsters emerge from the humans of day,

So you see, night is scary,
But the light is a curse,
So I ask you, please answer:

*Which one is worse?

— The End —