...I couldn't stop thinking about what would have happened if I had allowed you that second chance. Would I have stayed? Would I have been happy, merely because I would have had you again? Would I have still left? Would we have stayed in a relationship? I suppose we would have because VHS is only two or three blocks away from BHS. But I suppose we probably wouldn't have because it was all just too much of a sad situation.
And c... I wonder this quite often... If I had asked you to allow me to explain myself to you... Would you let me? Would you want to hear the truth? Or would you be content with a lie?... I wanted to reach for your hand that day, so badly that it stung. I wanted to hold your hand; see if I could still feel the warmth from your hand radiate through mine into my bones. I remember how it felt to slip my hand into yours, and I desperately wanted to see if I would still feel that now. I so desperately wanted to know how you feel about me... And whether or not you wanted to hold my hand too.
"If only" is just a cliché phrase isn't it? I seem to cling on to the If Only's and What It's more than anything.