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Natalie May 2019
some are dainty
some are kind

some are precious
some are vile

some are poisonous
and black underneath

some are thin
and corkscrew-like

turning constantly
until morning.

break off the cover
show a buried pit of coals.

when done, skin
scales, or feathers will all come off.
Natalie May 2019
The boundaries of my body are blurred. The once
Blunt ends of my fingers blend and smear, like Rorschach blots,
Into a pool of surrounding air.

The short scrubs of my hair sprout wildly
Like stalks, seeking
As vines of some flowering **** for something to leech on.

I am expanding one moment,
Collapsing the next, retreating infinitely inward,
Drawing in my limbs.

I sponge up all my musings, stifle
My breath, tuck words under my tongue
Or in the penny pouch of my cheek;

Some days I must go mute
And lock myself in the echo chamber of my mind,
Re-absorbing reverberations

Of the sour thoughts that I have shunned
While I searched for peace
So keenly outside of myself.
Natalie May 2019
when the sky blackens,
and the full moon brightly rears
its white bald head,
their words resound in my ears
from ghost-mouths and artful
tongues which, like thorny roses,

bloom and snag.
darkness shepherds them in.
and now, in solitude, under the charm
of somnolent night,
words cease to be words alone—
they are life in a breath.
they are lips and teeth
and tongue and cheek,
skin, blood, and bone.
Natalie May 2019
Faded building-tops
Tips erased by smog and haze

Are dulled, washed out
As the sky comes down, smothering the ground.

Flags lay limp, ephemeral trees
Like phantom shadows, dissolve

Into **** heads
Or bare crooked limbs.

Everything is cloaked
In staler colors.

The mind, too, is dull.
Stale people drag in driveling stupor

To places I do not
And never will know.
Natalie Mar 2019
that august,
when you left,
it felt as though you took
every source of earthly air.
and all i could do
was sputter and gasp
and choke on my despair.
and too **** often
i still find myself mourning your absence in pantomime,
whispering out midnight cries
so no one else can hear how much i miss you.
Natalie Dec 2018
your absence
will be my death.
my mind will not let me forget you.
my heart will not let you go.
i see your face as i lie alone—
as i close my eyes
this last time
against the steady darkness of night...
Natalie Dec 2018
my thoughts crumble to bits
under the pressure of my skull,
under the weight of my consciousness.

they collapse to dust, to subatomic
that cannot be broken down
to anything less.

this dust—these dark particles spin
in vast empty space between my ears,
colliding with each other, fusing
into angst and despair.
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