WHENEVER YOU ARE AROUND
THE MUSCLE LOCATED IN THE CENTRE OF MY LUNGS
CAN’T REIGN ITSELF TO CRY OUT YOUR NAME.
I BARELY KNOW IF WHENEVER YOU’RE BESIDE ME,
MERELY MAKING COLORFUL CONVERSATION,
YOU CAN DECIPHER THOSE GIBBERISH WORDS OF MINE
WHERE EACH SECONDS MORPH INTO OCCULT AND WONDERFUL SENTENCES
THAT LEAD TO THE IDEA OF HOW BEYOND WONDERFUL YOU ARE

I ALWAYS DREAM THAT THIS EMOTION THAT LINGERS WITHIN MY NERVES
WILL ONE DAY DECIDE TO GET THE COURAGE TO SING FOR YOU
AND PRAY THAT WHATEVER THE OUTCOME IS
I STILL BE ABLE TO BARE THE AGONY THAT’LL FOLLOW

NONETHELESS, MY MERE HEART STILL HOPES THAT YOUR RESPONSE
WILL BE THE SAME BEAT AS MINE

If I will count the days,
From the day we separated our ways,
My heart will believe that it only had happened yesterday.
Yet, in reality, it was five thousand and four hundred seventy-five days, already.

Now here you are again.
Wearing the same smile, where in my memory remain.
We are standing in the middle of this commotion,
A few feet in between, while I'm persistent smothering the recurring emotion.

'Hello' you said, just like the same way you accustomed to say whenever we see each other.
I smiled -- as a smart response to hinder this emotion to go further.
'You look wonderful in that red dress' you added.
'Thanks' I replied. But the agony within won't be mended.

If you only have the capability to read my mind,
Probably, you can decipher that am suffering inside.
From the time we exchanged our goodbyes,
Your eyes became the reminders of my system that you really won't be mine.

For the second time,
I will never be able to renounce how you mean to me.
And for the second time,
I'm pretending, in front of you, that I'm fine. That I will continuously be fine.

Your effort are not as bad as you think.
Those tears aren't sign of being weak or vulnerable.
You are kind and precious.
If ever you find people still hurt you quite way off from what you've thought they never do — Always to choose the path of forgiving
It doesn't mean that you are too easy to be discarded.
Instead, you are strong enough to tell them how you value their time,
How you care for their sake,
And how you treat them in a way they deserve to be.

It isn't your mistake to love.
It is always their choice to receive your love or hurt you in pieces.

There are those days when my words were caged within the hands of waiting.
They've been held captive for so long, where even my mouth considered them foreign.
Together with my mind unconsciously lost all of their meanings.
And the only naive heart of mine? It's the one part of me embraced their shards with full of understanding.

Most of the people that I’ve known
once told me that love has it's two  faces.
First is happiness,
and second is darkness.

At the prior days that you are with me
I saw things differently than before,
All the ideas and thoughts within my system turn upside down --
where all of my actions – that once are on a fugue state, before you happened
were impulsively heaved their way to merely exhibit
how you thoroughly mean to me.

Without fully knowing that was already the first face of love – happiness.

Until the day I truly dread to exist, occurred.
You introduced the soul you treasure the most.
The woman standing right before me is the one you about to marry.
After those assertions from you hit me like a blow.
It coaxed all the negative things in this world.
Yet, as much as I loved to shout out how much I love and will love you, I can’t.

Accepting and living happy for the soul I love from afar, perhaps the second face of love – darkness.

A secluded road leads to nowhere.
Brought the melancholy I mostly fear.
My heart skips as my hand shift for the fifth gear.
While whimsical that every thing won't care.

Vial brimmed of sobering Cognac.
Fancying to forget where I lack.
Decried by people I deem who got my back.
Where my words are like lyrics mean to lose track.

Meandering beneath the sheet of stars.
A handful of dreams I highly hoped won't scar.
I who dread of going too far.
Now lost in this crowded bar.

Writing is the simplest vessel and gift from up above that we can use for us to let go of pain and somehow make the brokenness bearable.

There's no doubt of a day that is about to come,
Where everything will coincide and conspire to what your heart truly desires.
Letting go might be a fearful idea,
And will somehow leave you a deep scar.
Yet, eventually there will be a soul who's enough and worthy of your love.

Twa's a dull-late afternoon at a coffee shop.
When your brisk tread suddenly engaged to a stop.
You are standing across the road draped in a pinkish top,
And from a mil of a sec you made my heart drop.

You have that kind of thick flapping lashes,
Where once I'd mulled were made my inside crushes.
From the moment your brain sent those feet in front of mine,
Can't resist my wistful heart to whine.

I was sitting inside of an extended awning so stern,
When you momentarily made that turn.
That gaze of yours I know are too difficult to earn,
Yet falling for you is something I can easy learn.

Driving at cold Saturday nights started,
Everydays dull-late afternoon ended.
And now that you're sitting across my favorite table,
I'm trying my best not to let my words to stumble.

Do you heard that?
I'm longing to touch where your heart at.
Do you see that?
Letting myself engross to things am not good at.

These words that are slipping pertually out of my lips,
Turn in to dreams and hopes of you from this eclipse.
The sun is no longer a star that reminds me of yesterday,
But become my constant reminder to wish to see you day-by-day.

Can't you hear these?
My heart can't longer be restrain at ease.
Whenever you're near probably this only explain
That for you I'm fallin'

So please put away the blue from your eyes.
When that someone tries to drive you in hard times,
Just ring me up once you start to cry at five.
Because that someone never deserves your love.

A backward step, pause, and silence aren't indications that we're chickens neither weak-hearted. There are brinks in our time when these are the remaining acts that we can do to give somebody's own healing.

I apologize for not considering you to walk beside me when I was in my deepest sorrow.
I may not have the courage to let you in when you were knocking at my door.
While telling me how much I mean to you.
And am way too sorry for not saying the words --
I'm not the right one for you.
Soon. Soon enough.

If these feet could be worthy and strong,
I will definitely bring you to places where every thing won't be wrong.
And I will cross the world just to find you,
Whenever you are feeling lost.

Whatever it takes. Every thing maybe at stake. Your words were never been a mistake. Take your time. Little by little. Breathe. And in the end you will be okay.

Looking back right through the day when our roads crossed,
The trueness of the promise I've kept never change after all.
I still see you as the most promising than these loads I deal with.
You're similar since the first day when I considered you as my sweetest reminder of happiness at the different faces of rejections and storms.
And you are still this soul who keeps me from the verge of giving up.

The sole promise I will store within me as I continue to choose to live.
You will be the promise I will look forward each day.
You'll always be this promise I won't allow to get close to any hurtful words.
You are my promise.
My promise that I'll embrace and hold through your light and edges.

One of these days, we will play a big part of someone's own happiness and prayers.
These hands of our time of nos will soon stop.
And there'll be a day when we're no longer be somebody's never.

Remember this, you have all the reasons to dwell on every corner of my heart.

I'm not a good poet, writer, nor journalist. Am also no person who loves English movies.
I am a soul who've gone through such pain that no one could ever imagine.
I'm not the one you thought to be someone.
I'm just a product of a love that never worked out.
The love that was broken.
A love that somehow never been reciprocated.
And the love that was left alone, sailing within the vast ocean of undying regrets. That's who I am.

The faintest star is always the farthest, so am I. Striving to reach the end of our universe, just to see if happiness, somehow, live within these black holes and pitch black corners.

The legend might be true about our happiness that's living within our choices.

Probably today our happiness isn't around -- even how hard we have tried to keep it alive from these broken choices we've made.

However, it isn't too late for us to give another ounce of hope for tomorrow.

Perhaps, happiness will be there waiting for us -- where our scarred dream, and futile forgiveness are worthy after all this time.

I was told that my words are somewhat capable to drift their souls somewhere. Somewhere too far away.

But little did they know, I'm here silently praying while working for pieces that I have nothing dream of to somehow reach the person who has my heart.

Someone who's out of my reach and way too far away.

Had you ever come upon of thinking how truly pristine you are?
Perhaps, you have this merest idea, you are absolute even from afar.
Probably you don't know that you have a type of smile I won't trade to any glimmering treasure.
Even my breath, I admit, can't mar your completeness for sure.
As I've held your hand, I fervently asked, "Would you spend your life with me?"
Below the sheet of this beautiful-starry-night sky -- You abruptly let your hand free.
And for the first time, I'd obliged myself to listen to the quiet.
While, am hoping for a thing that can somehow make your heart respond, harmoniously to my heartbeat.
Unexpectedly, the words I have held on the tip of my tongue morphed themselves in to thin air.
When your loud silence stabbed me -- like soaring words I long enough feared.
Yet, I still let myself purposefully discard the future of us away from my clasp, for once.
And somewhat gauged my understanding of my dream that there's no way for it to come true.
Now, I am standing at the rear pew -- I can still see in your eyes the future they can hold.
And somehow in your smile, tells me the countless promises that never been told.
That linen white wedding dress you are wearing, reeled me back to dream of you and I.
But there's no way for I to be the apple of your eye.

You see our world as evil as it is today.
You might catch some glimpse of hell as what you say.
Yet, there are these things you need to consider as we both stay.
I know things are getting rough some times.
But you need not to forget to cling towards the word and the idea of happiness no matter what.
Because it is how both of us are wired to be.
All of us are worth saving.
So you are.

We may agreed to meet last year, but I wish for "someday" to meet you again when our time will chime and will align to each other.

I wish for that "someday" when we will no longer looking at the places when we've hurt.

And I wish to see again the thousand of reasons why I love you.