Please come back to me
Even if it's in another life

The only time he holds my hand
Is after he ***** me until I can't tell
Where one inch of flesh meets another
The numb feeling of knowing I'm being held
Without knowing where
As hot flesh melds together-
It's not as if it mattered anyway

The number one cause of being let down


Is hoping in the first place

X

I don't bloom
Because you command me to
If I bloom at all
It will be
Because
I am finally ready
To face the world
And because
The world is finally
Ready for me

I'm still paranoid
And I'm sorry
I tried so hard
To smoke you away
That I almost did

It's sad that you dont see
A life with me

After all I'd ever give to you
But I will never do

Mother,

I feel I should apologize
After hearing horror stories
of womb to street stories
I realize
You're not the monster of the world
You are just the monster
of my world
No less deadly,
just only to me.
You're harmless as a fly to the rest.
You've never run home
with needles full of ******,
sorry Kay.
But many times
you have sashayed home
with sharpened words
ready to rip apart my flesh.
You didn't abandon me in the dark
and make me scavenge for food
before men in suits took me away
...I'm really sorry Kay.
But often you ignored my pleas for help,
as I begged you to save me from myself.

But now we're here,
and I'm still the victim
       your victim.
Yet, I want to apologize to you, and I'm sorry
for believing you were a monster
when you never deserved that title either.
You're just a bully.
And I'm sorry I let you get to me.

Regards,
Given Name

I didn't ask to fall for you
But that didn't stop you
from catching me

His soul was so beautiful
I will regret letting him go
Watching him walk away last time
For the last time...
I didn't require love
But I don't deserve abandonment

Now she holds his hand
Comforts him when he sleeps
She feeds the fire in his soul...
I could never give him that
The wrong love
At the worst time

Now all we have are passing glances
And my remorse
Maybe in those ephemeral moments
Our flames could collide yet again

Honestly,
I hope she makes you happy
Because truly,
He makes me feel so alive

I will always have those elastic memories
To stretch and watch over and over
Until they snap and fade away
Even if they don't break apart
Eventually theyll erode to nothing

I fear this pain won't be like those memories
It'll stick to my lungs and rot them away
Tears of acid will peel away these once rosy cheeks
My hands will shake wanting yours
Reaching for the memories
That have long sense expired

Cheers!
We can do this, baby girl.

The water has a way
Of drowning out truths
I was told something this morning
you told me
all I wanted to hear
So you could wrestle me down
into your sheets
Your words were hollow
Just like your soul

In the souls
Of these random people
Without taking from them
I'm still able to gather thier pieces
And patch my soul back together

Something I've learned
Over the years
Is never to rush nature
She knows what shes doing-
     Shes been doing it longer than anyone else
And the scars we force ourselves to have
Will always hurt more
Than the ones She will give to us
So never force a life lesson
You'll be naturally taught them
When She believes you're ready

What happens when the stars cross
and your face isn't the one I see?

When the planets align
but you're not the one in their path?

What happens when, as you fall for me,
I fall away from you?

The taste of stale cigarettes
On her lips
Mixing with the stinging cherry
On my own
Is a flavor I'll probably never forget
Or trade for the world

I wrote your destruction
Often times in my blood
But now the malice has ended
And I want to transcribe
Our ascension
Even with all this new found passion
The words have never been more distant

Hes the one
Because even in the silence
There is a melody between us
Sometimes the stark sound of nothing
Comforts more than frivolous words

I feel like all of my dreams
Random as they may be
Are trying to tell me something
They all want to circle back
And connect in some cryptic way
I'm terrified to death becuase
What if
Every dream is actually a nightmare
And what if all these nightmares
Take me back to you?

Those teaching us to survive
Are always the ones
Trying to take life from us

I wish I could say I'm in love
But right now I'm not so sure
Not even about myself

It's a pity
That my lovely hopeless heart
is eternally
Dammed
To a sinful and wondering
Body

The night air was cold
Spring was in bloom
So were those rising emotions
The only warmth in the earth around us
Was coming from us
Little lightning bugs mocking the stars above
Teasing them for our amusement
The world was singing in moonlight
All for you, maybe, for us
In that pale blue
We were simply Spring with the rest of the world

I wish you were the one
Sitting across from me in that chair
Time spent with you
Is far more precious than anything
Even in the tiny space
We would have between us
Is so much energy
It moves the galaxies

And into the abyss it went
Everything

Or better yet
Shut the **** up
And just kiss me

The rush of having those stunning emeralds
Piercing down to the core
Everything inside beats faster
But the world around spins no different
Does it not know what is about to happen?

The fading green gems growing closer
It's going to happen
But where is the title wave?
The rush is gone and turns to heat
Scorching deserts of embarrassment flourish
Cactus needles fill the gaps in time

Looks like it's not this time
But maybe some time soon

...or at least I hope

What the ****
Am I to do
When everything
Comes back to you?

You leave me beaten
Like you do
Always my heart aching
Black and blue

I'd tell you I love you
But I'd hate to wake you
From this dream of perfection
And let my honest touch taint you

I ran across our messages today
****- reading your name haunts me
Seeing the image of your face
Shatters my heart
Knowing I loved you completely
As you waited to tear me apart
If only forgetting you was for me
As was as killing me was for you

When consoling people
Most try to be soothing
Not accusing

Hes not the love of my life
Hes just a lover tonight

Your curse will be
Knowing that every time
You close your eyes you will see my crying face
And you will know
It was all your fault

You kiss with infected lips
With the expectation of being healed
Failing to realize
the sickness you spread

She has the kinda face
who needs a saving grace

Baby, hes' a charmer
but I'll tell ya he'll harm her

He is actually the devil
but she'll take your heart and revel

I think you know their fate
but it's already too late

I can give you
Everything
You've ever wanted
You, however,
Need to figure that out first

Her hands melted right into mine
The perfect fit, one of a kind
I was gifted the words in which to speak
The flavored sentences to make her weak
Too perfect to exist, God had made her
Lust had consumed me, Satan her sender
But lust had to be my least worry
When my heart departed in a hurry
It leaped right into her sweet soft eyes
Without any warrant or comprimise
When the hell will I come to realize
My heart wishes for my own demise
But yet another chance I give, to my own
Surprise

Death always comes in the form of loss
Destruction travels by flames

I could have been something
But your fire
had boiled me down to nothing

Mix drinks
Not emotions

I'm honestly searching for something
It doesn't have to be serious
But it needs to be genuine

You spill too much information
to lie to me now
and think you can get away with it

I'll take your worries
and make them mine

He let me sing
Songs on end
For moments that felt as if they would never end
Through my belting
and maybe a few tears
He understood my suffering
And in his silence
I knew he had a plan to me

These creeping thoughts of You
Are all too tiring
My eyes still wander
Thought the gallery of my mind
Imagines distorted by the thin grime
Of sentimentality and nostalgia

But the You to me
Was never truly to you that You are
The You to me was only the version of You
I stowed away in my visions
And held almost forgotten in my heart

For when I gaze upon You now
My eyes beg to shut
For reality doesn't align with
The mirages of my memories
Words You speak
Mimic Your tone
But fail to reach my understanding
Your helpless screams of
Swirling dread and fear of your end

I can't keep visiting You
For You are in the past
The You that lives on now
Is a timeless captive who may never grow
Or change
Abandoned to fade
And share the same doom as those fated memories of You

And I cannot look for You
In my future
Because the You are to me now
Perhaps the true You to you
Is stuck in a space
Left behind My in time
Still waking to fight the tireless battles
Of Your war torn mind
Capsizing over the paralysis of each decision
A despair that is not mine to carry