This water
Has a strange way
Of making me want to die

No, no.
Not suicide
I don't want to die
I very much want to live
I love those around me
But

The water
That **** water
It calls to me in peace
Offering it at the bottom
Of the murky water

Everything you've ever wanted
It says
Just swim deep enough to find it
It sings
And I want to.

I want to plunge to the bottom
And find all that I think I deserve
Cold bitterness overpowering my lungs
And the peace and joy
I was always offered all along

I miss the taste
Of the Lake
On my lovers longing lips

I miss the smell of the water
In his hair
As I run my fingers through it

I miss the sun
Reflecting off the crystal brown surface
In his eyes.

Through him
I guess
I still miss the Lake

He chose me
Something about me
In his eyes
Lead him back

Even despite the fact
That I wasnt wanted by the Lake
I was thrown from the water
It didn't love me

But he does
He truly, truly does.
Who needs the Lake,
When I can swim in his love forever?

It rejected me
The lake
It truly did

My soul had never been so devastated
I jumped once more
Deep off the dock
To the very bottom

I let my body go limp
take me
I preached
But no
Not yet I guess


My body rose
Like a hot hair balloon
Crashing not to the sky
But to the surface of the water

And my lungs re-inflated
With the hatred of this world
I pushed myself back under
Breathing in the precious liquid
Brown in color

But no,
not yet
Not me.
For I am
Not worthy
Of The Lake

The Lake
Rejected
Me
Even when
I thought
I was worthy

Swiftly,
Like the autumn breeze
You had no problem blowing me off

It's hilarious
in a nauseating sense

to hear my mantras
echo from your lips

Everything is temporary
(Even the pain of you leaving)
Especially the sorrow you carry for your unseen future

Learn to appreciate the moment
(And all the moments after you)
The calm you chased after running from everything

Let it go
(Or it'll suffocate in your grasp)
So you no longer feel burdened by the weight of decision

It's a pity you had to lose the sound
To appreciate the sentiment

May the voiceless chanting
Of something greater
Lead you forward on your path
Namaste

He was a wildfire
His flames hotter than the desire I had for him
From the beginning I was locked in his gaze
His eyes the prison I walked right into
His smile the lock I let close
Trapped like the other prey before me
Exactly where he wanted me
Just where I wanted to be
The fear and the rush between us-
That's what started the fire

Today I made your son a king
By taking him into my sheets
And allowing him to claim his throne
Though I have no intention of being his queen
Only his princess of the shadows
There for his needs
-And your torment

I really wish I could forget the taste
Of salty tears on your quite perfect lips
I admit I miss your hands on my waist
Each night alone is a total eclipse

I could fall in love with him
Probably because of his smile
The way it sets the dew before dawn
And makes way for morning's grace
Or maybe it's because of his words
When they wrap around me tighter
Than even my favorite jacket
Better yet, it comes from the core
Spinning me along for the ride
Keeping my feet on the ground
And close to his comforts

Laying there
Leaving morals behind
Rolling in hues of grey
Heating up shades of red
Tension builds
But so does the emptiness
The faux passion is daunting
With the heaviest prospect being-
Betrayal of the heart
Weeping of the mind
Along side
The overall deterioration

Your laughter could bring love back
From all the broken hearts
but all it does
Is **** me slower

I'm willing to risk it all
For a man
Not willing to risk anything
For me

You can turn the lights on
And tear off all my clothes
But I will never again
Allow myself to be naked in front of you

He's sweeter than you
All he does is want to spoil me
And I'm drowning
All I've ever wanted
And I'm suffocating

Learning to take a bullet with grace
Is the most painful experience
Life can teach

Roses are red
Thier petals are hot
I made it clear that I love you
But you did not

Even now
I realize my life has fallen victim
To some sick metaphor

At this point I'm called
Not by my given name
But of that of a flower

Rose

And for me,
Many times,
Love has come and love has gone

And I burn for the things I have done
I am douced in the flames of infidelity
But I've seen the flowers burning

It's common,
When love dies,
To see the image of fire- set to the lovely petals  

roses

So then, why,
After love has left me yet again
Should I be surprised that I'm burning still?

When you live your life through a sober lens
you have to open up your heart to all the hurt
and the hardships
that are going to come with it
but when you open up your heart it leads
to great things
you can feel love and joy and you can have
the help and the company of all those around you
Living life for the sober soul is more than just living to feel pain
it's living so you can feel all of the great things
that come along with being alive.
And if you can't open your heart
to even those piercing feelings
how do you expect to feel anything ever again?

Knock knock. Who is that, standing at my door?
It’s me, it’s me! See what I have for you?
Dear, my dear such little girl, you look poor
Come, let me in, so I can show you, too.

I let this woman in, but who was she?
Her eyes, ice like the horrid, cold, dark night
Soon I knew I was looking right at me,
so then the dark became my newest light

Unbearable is now the dying one.
It’s me, it’s me! Oh what have I now seen?
My dear, My dear, I am the fleeting sun.
With pain inside… I must now be a queen.

Throughout the night, I find my soulful peace,
which makes the brightest lights forever cease.

There are no words to describe a spirt
They are not if this world
Therefore words of this world
Do not do such spirits justice

I know this only after his spirt touched me
Right there in the smallest of moments
It happened in the space between seconds
Only as the Earth stopted in the breath before the blink

The strength of his gaze
The energy behind those twinkling gems
If only he knew the power he held
What actually lived on within himself

His spirt was something profound
It is a shame really that I have no other Earthly words
To describe this heavenly warrior
Who's own passion he has yet to fully realize

I'm jealous of the sun
every time she kisses your skin
You're awake every morning
to see her rise
She watches over you each
and every
day
And I wish
I could be her.

I won
I finally did
But still for her
I feel the loss
And pain
And I wish
Somewhere close to the surface
Of my heart
(Though I wish I could say it comes form a place deep down)
I could take the pain from her
I wish that I could carry it
Far from her
For she lays in this bed
Yet, by her own hands she did not make it
She was thrown into those sheets
Not a victim intentionally
But crowned so by fate.

I'm sorry.

You dance in and out of my life-
and around everything I want to hear

You keep me close-
sometimes spinning me away

With each graceful move-
You manage to scuff up the floor

Dragging dirt around-
Until our dance isn't even beautiful

Hes the one you want at your side
Because hes the one that has your back

Its just the way that disappointment moves
Through the body
It leaves everything feeling empty
But heavy
And it ***** because
There isn't anyway to undo it

If you break my heart again
I'll smoke as many
Cigarettes as need
Until I can feel something
Take the breath from my lungs

Sometimes I let my mind wonder
And it can be dangerous
Because in a world so horrid
It's all too easy
To get lost in a world in my mind
A world
Which does not exist

I was always enough
In fact,
I was everything you ever wanted
Needed
Thank god,
You finally realized that

I love myself
Because I learned to love my imperfections
Like you never could

I hate you for every time you've held out your hand,
as you stabbed my back

I hate you for every time you told me it was okay,
when it wasn't

I hate you for every time you made me cry,
even when I didn't want to

I hate you for every time you hurt me,
just so you could feel strong

I love you for every false smile you've ever given me

I love you for every warm moment you wrongly gave me

I love you for blinding me from the painful lies

I love you for letting me forget the world as you destroyed mine

I love you for hurting me so you could be strong

I realised something in the car on my way home this morning,
and it was this:
I always say he's perfect,
And it is the most true thing I have ever said.
Fear follows this thought
Because
The thought of losing something has never been present
But the thought of losing perfection
Is horrifying.

The water calls to me
No, not to me
But to my weakness
However, I am not weak
And the water
Cannot
Have me

This sunset will be your demise
I'll drown you in the reds
I'm going to hang you in the yellow
You'll suffocate with the purples
Both the blue of the sky
and of the waters
Will carry your soul safely on

God it felt good today
To rip you off like a bandage
And toss you aside for good

I want to be sober enough
To mean it when I tell you that I love you
But ****** enough
To not have to remember it in the morning

If only it was as easy
As trading glasses
To allow you to see all I do
Maybe then
You'd see how I love you

You spend all of your time
Waiting
for him
But you should spend more time
Living
without him

The magic of this world
Can be found with each rotation
A bad day ends at the dawn each day
and resets
Even with such an ability to rewind
To start over
Tell me,
Why do you feel the need to live there?
In the past.
Love and live with us here
Where each day is a new beginning
And every breeze can carry you
To something new

The words you give me
Taste sweeter than honey

Here I go again
Selling a piece of my soul
For less than the value of mud
Every diamond deserves better
It would be a tragedy then
If I was anything more than charcoal

The weight is dropping faster than I can
Pretend to shovel the tasteless waste down my throat
At first there was the fear
If this persists one day I will dwindle to nothing
Followed by the panic and the binging
Must. Consume. Calories.
Three bites in and that should be enough
But the pants continue to fall
And the shirts simply hang from the clavicle
Eventually I'll fix this mess of a body
Only after I fade to nothing

Your eyes are so good
You can see all the pieces

Your hands are so strong
They can pick them all up

Baby girl
Always know
You don't need to put on a dress to be a princess
You don't even need to be a princess at all
Show the world your stunning smile
Backed by your gleaming personality
And wisdom beyond your years
Your prince is sure to follow
But you don't have to have a prince
Anyone can save you
Let them
And when you fall in love
So be it
Fall hard and fall fast
Love like Fierce Kings conquered
Swift with no regrets
Live this way too
In all aspects of your life
The world is waiting for you

I lost my ****
And you couldn't come
Its times like this
When my mind holds the gun

He could always read me like a book
So it's no surprise
That he could see the lies
Or pain in my eyes
When I tell him were fine
He doesn't know you
You'd never want him to
But he still holds some of my love
Which when you think
Makes you weak
Because not only you can
Sweep me off my feet
But you are
The only one
I want indefinatly

I'm not sure I know
How exactly this goes
Though God knows I try
Still you gave me the sky
You sat me on your throne
Making my heart your home
I beg you to live in my eyes
This way- I'd see my demise
Grant me this wish
Through the seal of a kiss
**** me ever so slow
To let your heart know
I was always the one

"Don't you think you're wasting your potential"
...potential*?
I want not
Thus I waste not
Simply trading one skill
For one of equal value
In the ever lasting search for greater happiness