He's not my lover
But I know the taste
Of his lips

I've smoked more cigarettes
Than calories I've consumed this week

The hardest part is
Even after all this time
The torture and tears
Heartbreak and sorrow
I still love you
And there's still nothing I can do
To make you love me

These honey feelings
You have me stuck in
Leave me breathless
And sticky
Things get jumbled together
Maybe things that shouldn't
And everything becomes
Foggy and hazy
This process continues
Until not even the bees
Want it back

I miss the taste
Of the Lake
On my lovers longing lips

I miss the smell of the water
In his hair
As I run my fingers through it

I miss the sun
Reflecting off the crystal brown surface
In his eyes.

Through him
I guess
I still miss the Lake

Are things truly
better this way?

Perhaps I was wrong
Maybe on my own
I am not a complete person


Or


Maybe I had given
So much of myself to him
That I only feel complete around him
Because my body aches
For the return of those pieces

I am in a place
That you can't comprehend
Because if you had ever been here
You would have never made it out

I want to hurt you with this heartbreak
Like you hurt me with this false sense of love

The Lake
Rejected
Me
Even when
I thought
I was worthy

I wish you'd never read my words again
So I can tell my tales of hurt and heart break
Love, lust, and war
without fear of worry

How many times
will I allow you
to empty my heart
before I realize
that I can't keep filling it with you?

Your problem is
You can only see beauty when you're drunk
And I
Was beautiful always

Before my heart claims you
And my head regrets it in the morning

You can break a heart
But you can't taint my soul

I'm not the one who deserves another demon
But your crying eyes will haunt me eternally

The sunset looks so much more
Brutal
Without you

-this shooting star shoots across the Sky
Like the tears rolling down my satin cheeks
An invisible corset tying itself around my chest
As if it couldn't also see the imperfections somewhere lower

I didn't ask to fall for you
But that didn't stop you
from catching me

Why does self-destruction
Yield self-gratification
regardless of how ephemeral?

I can tell how he's doing
Just by how he answers the phone

Ice cold
lies told
To keep his heart beating

I'm ready to let Mother
Turn my toes to roots
And mend me back into the soil

My arms reaching for the warmth
And healing from the sun
To help me grow

I'll wait for the rain
To pour down on me
And wash all I do not need away

Or better yet
Shut the **** up
And just kiss me

I would do so many bad things
For that one good girl

The way you hugged the bottle
Tighter than you ever held me
Allowed me to see fatherly love
For a toxin much stronger than myself
Something inanimate
That would take the pain away
Like my smile never did
I guess my love for you
Could never heal like the whiskey

I hate you
Because you're the reason my mind races at night
But have I
ever made yours skip a beat?

I wish I could say I'm in love
But right now I'm not so sure
Not even about myself

Rest now baby girl
You'll need your strength
for when he tries again tomorrow

From the center of the moon
To the deepest part of the ocean
No...
The distance between stars
Millions of years away-
No...
The distance between the stings of my heart
And every other gap in between

If not me,
then who?

He touched the hole in my chest
Without hesitation he dove into his own
Holding out the beating ***** to me
Leaving himself empty
To make me whole

The number one cause of being let down


Is hoping in the first place

Look Honey,
I bet you're funny

You're oh so sweet
I felt your friction and the heat

But this has got to end
I'm not looking for just another friend

I bet you could frost me over
Even in the middle of summer

My mind races at night
Because I know you're running
   -around with her

Is it wrong
to burn souls
In order to save my own?

When it comes down to it,
humans will do anything
for self-prevalence
and survival

So,
does the arson make me evil?

Here I am
Naked in this bed
Alone
Feeling empty
Or is it the bed...
Who is empty
I don't know.
I stopped thinking
Too much about anything
After the clock on the wall
Began laughing at me.
I mean,
What time is it even?
How many hours have passed
Since you left?

I don't know how to say it to you.
...So,
I guess I just shouldn't,
right?

The only problem
I have with my drinking
Is the problem you have
With my drinking habits

This is a game.
I wouldn't lie to you,
it really is.
But don't think
for one ******* second
that I didn't come here to win.

I counted each and every set of headlights
Hoping they would add up to you

Do I even know how to love?

I want to push him down
into a pile of leaves
Laughing the way children do
I'd fall backwards and he'd catch me
Looking into his beautiful green eyes
resembling the still crisp evergreens
Oh, the trees would be jealous
But also proud-
for their leaves were not wasted
We would lay and watch
the world move on around us
Flowers wilting
Clouds fleeing
Snow eventually following
When its time to fall
into his arms once more
not wrapped in leaves
But in blankets of his love

For all of the special somethings
I did for my special someone
Who made me feel like no one

You're going to resent me tomorrow
And the hatred will follow
But I have to do what is best for me
that's always been the key

Your greatest gift
has always been your jaw
Strong and unwavering
Making it nearly impossible
to gather your emotions and thoughts

But your greatest weakness has always been
caught between the moments
you put pen to paper
and sacrifice your heart
Exposing your internal
and true
weaknesses

Now I can see it all

I listen to those sad songs
In anticipation for when
you make my heart recite them from memory

I just can't do it
I can't stand
to hear your voice
and not feel your breath

**** this place.