I'm jealous of the sun
every time she kisses your skin
You're awake every morning
to see her rise
She watches over you each
and every
day
And I wish
I could be her.

I would rip out your eyes
If it meant I never had to look deep into them
And trick myself back into falling in love
Looking so deep
I become a time traveler
Going to the times when we were perfect
Like all other travelers before me
I know I can't stay in the past

It takes a spider
About a day to make its web.
So then,
How long did it take you,
To construct your web of lies?

I wish you would have stolen my liver
So this next bottle would **** me

Your laughter could bring love back
From all the broken hearts
but all it does
Is **** me slower

Every man
Has stood at the precipice of decision and consequence
You are not the only soul to make mistakes
Yet seemingly
You have no qualms crucifying me for mine
All the while you shift the blame of yours

I hope one day you may forgive me
For my unwillingness to fall on your sword
Or grovel for the rotten bits of your affection
For in suffering you are not special
You are simply another lost screech into the chasm
Where we all eventually meet again

He isn't your prince
When he stands
on the wrong side
Of the dungeon bars

Your eyes are so good
You can see all the pieces

Your hands are so strong
They can pick them all up

I'd rip the petals
From every flower
Just to hear the roses scream

I could have been something
But your fire
had boiled me down to nothing

I can't mend this broken heart.
So then,
who is going to?

You throw me down
Onto the bed
Just to watch me giggle
And count the stars in my eyes

I'm drunk
But does that make me any less wise?

You fight for everything so hard
Except me

I love myself
Because I learned to love my imperfections
Like you never could

Look
I get it
And I wish you well
But truly I wish
We could have both been well

I saw this image in a dream once
Sure enough
You weren't there either

Are the waves
crashing so hard this morning
to help drown out the heaviness
of my heart?
Or rather,
to wash away my thoughts?

I smiled while you laughed at me
Even when I knew you weren't making jokes

A year after
Our five years
I sit in tears
Planning a future forward
Starting over from the point
Where you stayed behind

But I'm successful in ways
We never imagined
In multitudes
You'll never reap again

Close the pack baby*
He whispers to my weakness
*Lighters are only used
To burn the past
Or escape the darkness
With me you've already done both

I wish you were the one
Sitting across from me in that chair
Time spent with you
Is far more precious than anything
Even in the tiny space
We would have between us
Is so much energy
It moves the galaxies

He's sweeter than you
All he does is want to spoil me
And I'm drowning
All I've ever wanted
And I'm suffocating

Do you read my words here
That I wrote for you
And only you?


And in those moments
Do you think of me
And only me?

Do only my worst mistakes
Make up my future?

Your new girl looks like me
But my new man
Looks nothing like
the sad reflection
of my past

I was so close to finding happiness in you
Then I realized happiness isn't a person

He let me sing
Songs on end
For moments that felt as if they would never end
Through my belting
and maybe a few tears
He understood my suffering
And in his silence
I knew he had a plan to me

I'm sorry I'm a scratched CD
And you keep getting stuck
On the worst parts
of my song

Speak as you wish
But I'll believe as I may

You gave me a penguin to help me fly
I laughed at the irony behind it
Sternly, you told me believing was all flying took
The penguin wasn't to show me how
But how not to let fear stop me

This sunset will be your demise
I'll drown you in the reds
I'm going to hang you in the yellow
You'll suffocate with the purples
Both the blue of the sky
and of the waters
Will carry your soul safely on

It's just another day
Under the Sun
Which is a good problem

Cheers!
We can do this, baby girl.

There should be no tears shed
In paradise

Why does the bottle
taste sweeter in the morning?

Ahhh baby,
Don't cry as the snow falls
You're just a winter flower
Waiting to bloom in the spring

If every bee
Was limited to one flower
We wouldn't have pollination

My body loved you
Like my heart never could

I'm growing tired
of sending you words
you'll never read
emotions- I don't feel

I really should stop sending them
I don't do this for me
or you

But the way we behave
breaks grandmother's heart
and I know this stamp is the closest
I'll ever be to you again

When did you make me
So small
And yourself
So ******* better than me?

As I lay down to sleep
All I want to dream of is
You

You sit over there
And state
Almost like you love me

Something in your eyes
My demise
Almost like you hate me

Nights are lonely with you gone
Not any more lonely I suppose
Than while you were mine
But the empty bed was easier then
At some point I knew to expect you
To eventually curl warmly into me

But it's difficult now
And lonely still  
And cold
Facing the reality
That your absence
Is the only thing I'm promised forever

You are who you are
And there's no changing a soul

If you don't like
The words I say to you

You're not going to love
The ones I write about you

What in Hell
Or Earth
Did I do
To deserve you?

I was going to quit
To be with you
But now I use this vice
To drown you out

I can feel it building up inside me
Like a raging storm the waves abuse my heart
I can feel the floods behind my eyes
Wanting to add to the chaos
But in all this madness
The only thing I know how to do is smile
Trying to make the light shine through the cracks

I have to show up
As who I am

I can't show up
As someone else

And expect to be loved
For me