I wrote your name today
And I couldn't picture your face

I let me fingers trace every crack
Within those bricks
Through these man made walls
Just to get closer to you
Because I wanted to be closer to you

I fall apart
Drift away like ash in the breeze
With or without you
So why bother?

Slowly,
Day by day
I'm learning how to do everything all over again
Without you

Every inch of my skin
Becomes explored by your fingers
Completely and utterly naked
But you build me up
I'm **** but not vulnerable
I'm **** but not disrespectable
You treat me like the fair maiden
I never knew I could be

If only it was as easy
As trading glasses
To allow you to see all I do
Maybe then
You'd see how I love you

Honestly,
I hope she makes you happy
Because truly,
He makes me feel so alive

I've been hiding forever
But no one has ever come to seek me out
That's not how the game is supposed to be played

I want to love you
Will all of my being
So why do you insist
On making it so **** hard?

I didn't need you
To tell me
To have fun tonight
But even so
I did

These creeping thoughts of You
Are all too tiring
My eyes still wander
Thought the gallery of my mind
Imagines distorted by the thin grime
Of sentimentality and nostalgia

But the You to me
Was never truly to you that You are
The You to me was only the version of You
I stowed away in my visions
And held almost forgotten in my heart

For when I gaze upon You now
My eyes beg to shut
For reality doesn't align with
The mirages of my memories
Words You speak
Mimic Your tone
But fail to reach my understanding
Your helpless screams of
Swirling dread and fear of your end

I can't keep visiting You
For You are in the past
The You that lives on now
Is a timeless captive who may never grow
Or change
Abandoned to fade
And share the same doom as those fated memories of You

And I cannot look for You
In my future
Because the You are to me now
Perhaps the true You to you
Is stuck in a space
Left behind My in time
Still waking to fight the tireless battles
Of Your war torn mind
Capsizing over the paralysis of each decision
A despair that is not mine to carry

Let me start by saying you

do

not

deserve

her love.

Nor do you deserve

my

body.

But we give you both anyway,
She because she loves you,
and me,
because I love her.

Swiftly,
Like the autumn breeze
You had no problem blowing me off

Today the little birdie screamed out and told me
I was worth saving
*We're all worth saving

You are so much stronger than you believe
Look again at those mountains ahead
They're nothing more
Than the feathers to set you free

You have to know
I'm letting you go

You weren't the one
But oh so much fun

I was sorry to tease you
And it never did please you

But oh well
After this spell

You wont even remember
My name

I'm not sure I know
How exactly this goes
Though God knows I try
Still you gave me the sky
You sat me on your throne
Making my heart your home
I beg you to live in my eyes
This way- I'd see my demise
Grant me this wish
Through the seal of a kiss
**** me ever so slow
To let your heart know
I was always the one

Seeing your hands steady now
Even as mine still shake
Painfully reminds me
That you would have the pulled the trigger
Without any second thoughts

In the cold
My petals fall
The stem rips all it can from the ground
Soil seeking revenge
Gives nothing up
And eventually
the stem follows the dying tragedy

Walking up
Sober and alone
Reminds me
That the bed
Isn't the only thing
Cold and empty

I never thought you'd break my heart
I always figured I would
Be the one to hurt you
Considering my past and history

Maybe that's why I made excuses
Mainly for you
And tried to ignore it all
Because I was supposed to be the villain

I smirk knowing
I'm the twitch in your toes
I am the reason your legs cause earthquakes
Your gasping breath
Crying moans
Even those are me too
All of your pleasure
-Comes from me

Every inch of your body calls to mine
Baby,
I'm just here to answer

Something I've learned
Over the years
Is never to rush nature
She knows what shes doing-
     Shes been doing it longer than anyone else
And the scars we force ourselves to have
Will always hurt more
Than the ones She will give to us
So never force a life lesson
You'll be naturally taught them
When She believes you're ready

Anyone can put pen to paper and cause a smile
The difference is when
He put a pen to paper and made my heart sing

I was starving when I met you
Ready to devour every last morsel
of admiration and affection
Tossed in my direction
No crum too little

But I've had my fill
I've gorged on lust
Grown boated on tasteless compliments
Become lethargic with pleasantries

I've relished dining off your silver platter
Served only for me
With satiety attained I'll leave this place
Until the hunger strikes again

There is beauty in everything
Remembering
that beauty does not mean "good" or "lovely"
Beauty is "stunning" and "awe-inspiring"
Forest fires can be beautiful
so can your heart break
As long as you look deep enough for it

What happens when the stars cross
and your face isn't the one I see?

When the planets align
but you're not the one in their path?

What happens when, as you fall for me,
I fall away from you?

Being in such a tropical place
I see the beauty everywhere
Your laughing eyes in the flowers
That gleaming smile tucked away in rays of sun light
And you destructive personality in the heat killing my skin
Just as you did my heart

Will the weight
Of my dying soul
Eventually drown yours out?

The water has a way
Of drowning out truths
I was told something this morning
you told me
all I wanted to hear
So you could wrestle me down
into your sheets
Your words were hollow
Just like your soul

I seek out those
Who look like you
Because I want to find you
In everything

Knowing all too well
That those little similarities
Will never actually amount to all of you

To humble beginnings,
Spectacular ends,
The journey that connects the two,
And everything after...

I'll take your worries
and make them mine

It's not fair
That you moved on
And be came everything i knew you could
In spite of me

How long can you pretend our dance is graceful?

Your curse will be
Knowing that every time
You close your eyes you will see my crying face
And you will know
It was all your fault

What made her
so much better than me
that even in the end
the bitter moments before the storm
that you still chose her?

You can wish for different circumstances
But you cannot will them into happening

I'd fill the space between moments with you
If only to get you back

Its always
The rainy season
In my heart
Whenever you leave

Once again
She sleeps with the monster she created
Knowing full well in the morning
He will have left with the moon
For what he feels for her
Is only what she wants to see in him

Do I need you...



to be complete?

I want my words
To make your soul sing

So what would I have to say?

Love, do you even know
What you want to hear?

Dont speak
It'll keep you from chocking on the wrong words

After you solve this puzzle
Will you still be in love with the picture?

Searching for a love
that will guide my hands
and calm my spirit

Love so pure
it ignites my soul
and challenges preconceived notions

Pure and intoxicating
distilled to be set alight
and never burn out

I count each day
Waiting
Until we hit that magic age
That brings you back to me
And we laugh
About the time spent apart
The torments faced alone
Silent achievements celebrated in solitude  

Fast forward to a time
When we've healed from the wounds
We inflicted on each other
In tender moments
Of misguided passion

I'll meet you in the space
Where sorrow and anger have no hold
And time has created the distance needed
To fade the agony of memory
And bring only joyful remembrance

God it felt good today
To rip you off like a bandage
And toss you aside for good

It takes a spider
About a day to make its web.
So then,
How long did it take you,
To construct your web of lies?