How long will it take me to see
That out of all my pain and agony
Eventually comes beauty and grace?

Something I've learned
Over the years
Is never to rush nature
She knows what shes doing-
     Shes been doing it longer than anyone else
And the scars we force ourselves to have
Will always hurt more
Than the ones She will give to us
So never force a life lesson
You'll be naturally taught them
When She believes you're ready

How many times
will I allow you
to empty my heart
before I realize
that I can't keep filling it with you?

These whiskey feelings
I give myself
Straight from the bottle
Are often sweeter
Than you ever were

These honey feelings
You have me stuck in
Leave me breathless
And sticky
Things get jumbled together
Maybe things that shouldn't
And everything becomes
Foggy and hazy
This process continues
Until not even the bees
Want it back

Even quitting cigarettes
Was easier than quitting you

"In the end
It's you.
And, **** it,
It's always
just going to
be you.
So,
I'm simply
not going to fight it
anymore.
You're mine."

"What are you looking at, when you get lost in my eyes?"
He had no response so I began again
"In yours I see the storm,
I can see all the ways you hate yourself
And all the ways you rip and pull apart
All of your insecurities
But I also see the calm, and I feel the warmth
Coming from the sand under my feet
As I wait on the beach, in the eye of the storm.
Even through the chaos, in your eyes, I feel comfort and calm"
Then the storm came
and I kissed every drop off his cheeks

I dropped it and let him drift off
in my arms
He thought he got off free, but
I know when his eyes are closed
is when he's vulnerable and honest
And I asked again, with clouds over his mind
And his answer:
"Home"
The faintest mumble of a sleeping hero
Stopped my heart
"Your eyes bring me home"

I was always enough
In fact,
I was everything you ever wanted
Needed
Thank god,
You finally realized that

I wrote your destruction
Often times in my blood
But now the malice has ended
And I want to transcribe
Our ascension
Even with all this new found passion
The words have never been more distant

I want to give all my love away
And have it circled back
So then why shouldn't it
Be you?

Once again
Love prevails
And you are the proof of my victory

Walking up
Sober and alone
Reminds me
That the bed
Isn't the only thing
Cold and empty

Skimming sensation
From anothers skin
Has hollowed me out
Made every last corner
Emptier than the whiskey
Because not even drinking
Fills the hole you left anymore

Or better yet
Shut the **** up
And just kiss me

Perhaps I was wrong
Maybe on my own
I am not a complete person


Or


Maybe I had given
So much of myself to him
That I only feel complete around him
Because my body aches
For the return of those pieces

When my heart belongs to you:
I'm free

It's a pity
That my lovely hopeless heart
is eternally
Dammed
To a sinful and wondering
Body

I want to love you again
But tonight my lust is stronger
So that will have to do for now

Remember all those times
You told me I was the one
Then it turned out
I wasn't the only one
But even now I guess
At least I'm not the lonely one

He's sweeter than you
All he does is want to spoil me
And I'm drowning
All I've ever wanted
And I'm suffocating

I want to live in these moments of misery with you forever
Because they're the only things we have left

Every inch of my skin
Becomes explored by your fingers
Completely and utterly naked
But you build me up
I'm **** but not vulnerable
I'm **** but not disrespectable
You treat me like the fair maiden
I never knew I could be

Poems can't mend every hearbreak
But I'll de dammed if I don't try

Please write
If not to me
Then for me

His hands aren't as rough
And his fingers aren't as long
Your lips are softer
And you always tasted sweeter

He'll never hold me as tight
His arms aren't as strong
He's warmer than you in the night
But doesn't call for me like you did

He's never going to be you
And that's hard
I'm never going to get you back
And that's the hardest pill to swallow

I let me fingers trace every crack
Within those bricks
Through these man made walls
Just to get closer to you
Because I wanted to be closer to you

Please come back to me
Even if it's in another life

I guess all I have been trying to say is:
This all hurt,
More than anything I have ever had to feel
But I hope she can love you
In all of the ways that I couldn't

Now that you're gone
I just want to be sober
-for the first time in a long time
You had me so ****** up
Time seemed to warp
-and now
I just want to experience life
For all it should have been

Before I return them
I will drench all of your ****
In my best perfume
You remember,
The one you love most from our
Mhm, first time
So every time now after
You go to reach for it
It's like you'll be reaching for me
And a reminder of all the injustices
and sins you commuted against me

That's what happens when you're unfaithful
Everyone finds out eventually
and rarely wants to hear the excuse
Because there just isn't one

I'm not the one who deserves another demon
But your crying eyes will haunt me eternally

He let me sing
Songs on end
For moments that felt as if they would never end
Through my belting
and maybe a few tears
He understood my suffering
And in his silence
I knew he had a plan to me

Cheers!
We can do this, baby girl.

I want to hurt you with this heartbreak
Like you hurt me with this false sense of love

I love myself
Because I learned to love my imperfections
Like you never could

I've smoked more cigarettes
Than calories I've consumed this week

I was going to quit
To be with you
But now I use this vice
To drown you out

When you left me
You took more than just my being
You stole my appetite

But when he's near
Each time he draws closer
He brings forth an animalistic hunger from deep within me

Honestly,
I hope she makes you happy
Because truly,
He makes me feel so alive

Maybe things
Are moving kind of fast
But maybe
That's because
The universe finally thinks we're ready

A boy once told me
You can't expect the one who hurt you
to be the same one who fixes you
And ****
Did I not want that to be the truth

Your curse will be
Knowing that every time
You close your eyes you will see my crying face
And you will know
It was all your fault

I never thought you'd break my heart
I always figured I would
Be the one to hurt you
Considering my past and history

Maybe that's why I made excuses
Mainly for you
And tried to ignore it all
Because I was supposed to be the villain

Why can't my heart let you go?

Is it truly possible
That I could move on so quick?

Genuinely healing
Instead of hiding
Feels so **** good
Why didn't anyone tell me this before

In the souls
Of these random people
Without taking from them
I'm still able to gather thier pieces
And patch my soul back together

With all this in me
will I ever be sober again?