Oh Love,
As I watch you fall
all I want is to offer my hand
and raise you in your glory once again.
It pains me that I cannot.
You know as well as I
that the flesh of an angel,
cannot withstand the sting
of a demon's touch.

In a few hours
The sun will come up
He will be gone
And will any of it
Even matter?

I'm still paranoid
And I'm sorry
I tried so hard
To smoke you away
That I almost did

I would never again
touch another drop
If it meant you'd be forever
but until then
allow me to drink myself
into complacency

Silly boy
Broke my heart

Hes a toy
Been from the start

But we got this way
And its all jumbled

Seems my hearts to pay
For this fumble

There is no sense,
or evidence,
that we should at all
call the world peaceful.

Those teaching us to survive
Are always the ones
Trying to take life from us

Mother,

I feel I should apologize
After hearing horror stories
of womb to street stories
I realize
You're not the monster of the world
You are just the monster
of my world
No less deadly,
just only to me.
You're harmless as a fly to the rest.
You've never run home
with needles full of ******,
sorry Kay.
But many times
you have sashayed home
with sharpened words
ready to rip apart my flesh.
You didn't abandon me in the dark
and make me scavenge for food
before men in suits took me away
...I'm really sorry Kay.
But often you ignored my pleas for help,
as I begged you to save me from myself.

But now we're here,
and I'm still the victim
       your victim.
Yet, I want to apologize to you, and I'm sorry
for believing you were a monster
when you never deserved that title either.
You're just a bully.
And I'm sorry I let you get to me.

Regards,
Given Name

I would do so many bad things
For that one good girl

I said it would take months
looks like it only took moments

For a woman from Hell

Darling, please,
Lay your head down
Even on my shoulder

Curl up nice and warm
Grab the blankets
And my arm

I'll fight the demons away
If only for tonight
You don't need to be strong

Your fight is over
The war has ended
Its time for me to save you

Close your eyes
I'll hold your head
It's time for you to rest

Some birds leave for the winter
It gets cold and they fly away
It's how they survive

But some of them
Fall in love
Before they go

They survive seasons and storms through
Just waiting until they can return
To their summer home and comforts

But as they fly back
On tired wings
Do you think they remember their love?

Because after this long winter between us
I don't recognize you

I see you crying
Counting every tear as it rolls down
and pools in the dirt

You say all these words
None of them string into a sentence
That I haven't already heard

Trembling-
your voice isn't the only thing shaking
But I'll say it anyway

It's true, crocodiles produce tears.
They can actually cry.

You looked at me confused.
Would you have given me
the same look
if you knew what I would say next?

But the tears aren't formed from remorse
or sadness
They're formed simply to clean out their eyes.
So as I watch you, I'm questioning,
How many crocodile tears your shedding now
-here, for me?

---

But you can save me

I know I'm late
For 11:11
But I wish
You'd come back home

It's sad that you dont see
A life with me

After all I'd ever give to you
But I will never do

Liquor doesnt always taste like honey
And without a job I have no money
All I do is drink when the sky ain't sunny
My life is ****- but to some that's funny

So let's let out a cheer
When we stare in the face of fear
And let's get it clear
That the end or maybe love is near

Life is crazy but maybe
Just maybe

If hes with me
He has the key

To unlock my heart
And this release will give me a fresh start

Because the way he feels is like addiction
But all this life gives me is fiction
When he speaks he has such good diction
And I dont even feel the friction

I love when my lovers calling lips
Still sting of the water

We're all self-destructive at heart
This practice is an art
That we've perfected
While emotions are left neglected

Come now, come now
I guess I could see how
Such a past
Would stick and last
But it's not healthy to dwell
Inside this hell
You trap yourself in

Maybe you're right but people are people
And no amount of praying under a steeple
Will save a soul
Or help wanderers know
How to thrive
Or keep tender moments alive
We'll destroy what we can't control
Just to fill a hole

I should probably stop drinking
And probably soon

I should probably stop myself
From drowning in a bottle by moonlight

If I were wise
I probably would

I'm praying for a miracle
While sifting through this pile of cash
How foolish I must be
To think life could flourish here

I'm bound to slip
Oops

He makes me feel warmer
Than the whiskey as it goes down

A cigarette will fix things
It has to

Each release breathes out the smoke
And the toxins from within

All I need do next is light the fire
And watch it all burn

Do I even know how to love?

Writing in prose
allows me to freely say
*******
without needing to rhyme
or sugar coat it in metaphors
until the point gets lost in imagery

How sweet is the sirens call
as she sits and waits
Her gaze is beatiful
and dangerous
Her melody so intoxicating
and deadly

Beware the beauty in the shadows
For it's nothing more than filth in the light

I tossed my body around like a rag doll
until it wasn't even recognizable
as human anymore
Sunset through sunrise
this cycle is how I can justify
doing all the inhumane actions
the routine everyday life the choices I make
can clearly be done so
because what is being done
isn't being done to a human soul

Marks the spot
Where you buried my heart

He said that "W" word yesterday
I'm still not sure what that was about
After endless torture sessions
Void of commitment
Last night his heart had a change
"Wife" was on list of words
His brain suddenly drew from
He not only wanted me
To be his winter blanket
Or his ephemeral spring flower
But his goddess
Throughout all the seasons
He wants me!
...he wants me ..
And that means every piece
And he loves...
...everything

There's no poetic way
To say everything is ****
Some grim realities
Can't be glued
To the wings of butterflies

You loved him so true
All he did was make do

Because where your love was a fountain
His was a mountain

Strong and tall, but unmoving
Never improving

In this kingdom you are the queen
Grace and beauty is all to be seen

Let this distance bring you solace
Use this time to remember you're flawless

The goal was to be loaded
With my pockets now bloated
All my old friends have noted
To something new I'm devoted

On this climb up from broke
I hope I don't slip and choke

There's no escaping this noose
I found the golden goose

I think the greed has changed me
Haven't recognized myself lately

See, I sacrificed love for money
But paper don't taste like honey

So I sit here numbing my mind
Forgetting all I left behind

Forever let my fingers trace your spine
Dot to dot- I'll draw every line
Your soft, sensitive skin
Smells - where have you been?

So many words flying
The rooms spinning and I'm crying
Your words slam to the floor
With your hand on the door

Oh god, he's leaving
My already widowed heart grieving
What can I say
to make him stay

"I know its not you- its me!"
What a desperate plee
Rooted in lies
Something more ugly, than all of our highs

"No, it's not you,
that's not the least bit true"
But with each of his sighs
I see in his eyes

It's the end

On your hands
Doing what you do
If she doesn't know
it will soon become the mistress

With time like that
On your hands
All you have left to do
Is dream

Hes the one you want at your side
Because hes the one that has your back

We grow our love
In a garden of weeds

The only problem
I have with my drinking
Is the problem you have
With my drinking habits

I lost my ****
And you couldn't come
Its times like this
When my mind holds the gun

The whiskey is not as sweet
When you're not around

Hes the one
Because even in the silence
There is a melody between us
Sometimes the stark sound of nothing
Comforts more than frivolous words

If you break my heart again
I'll smoke as many
Cigarettes as need
Until I can feel something
Take the breath from my lungs

You have to know
I'm letting you go

You weren't the one
But oh so much fun

I was sorry to tease you
And it never did please you

But oh well
After this spell

You wont even remember
My name

Its always
The rainy season
In my heart
Whenever you leave

I wish you were the one
Sitting across from me in that chair
Time spent with you
Is far more precious than anything
Even in the tiny space
We would have between us
Is so much energy
It moves the galaxies

The rain last night
Washed away my sins
But
What's going to wash away yours?

Are the waves
crashing so hard this morning
to help drown out the heaviness
of my heart?
Or rather,
to wash away my thoughts?

I love you dearly
I truly do
But there is a darkness
In this heart of mine
It tells me
My love
Is not good enough

So yet,
I listen not to the voice
And give you all my love
However,
I will apologize
If it feels like I don't truly love you

Because you see
This love of mine
Is different from all the others