MUFFY LOVE

MUFFY LOVE Jan 2019

I learned how
To love again and this time
It’s me
I’ve falling head over hills
For myself
I learned how
To accept my flaws
Put all the bad behind me
In order to move forward
Happy days I shall now see
I learned how
To accept I cannot change everything
I love me for all my past
It taught me so much
My heart is no longer heavy
I learned how
To see this beautiful vessel
Love her entirely
From her brown skin
Smile to all her imperfections
She’s a survivor
Of the impossible
A warrior a poet a mother
She’s overcame what others
Never recovered from
I learned how
To love her again
It’s has been a long journey
But I made it
Yes I’ve made it
Loving you has been incredible
I vow to never settle
I owe you the world
No matter what obstacles you have faced
You pulled through and STILL STANDING
I LOVE ME
I learned how
To love again and this time
It’s me
I’ve falling head over hills
For myself

Learning to love yourself all over again

MUFFY LOVE Jan 2019

Hello FEAR

Hello fear
By Me Cara Chappell
I’m tired I have nothing left to offer
This sickness has gotten the best of me
I literally just tried to and sadly
I don’t feel bad about it
Hello depression
I have nothing left to give to you
There’s no soul in this weary body
Hello again Me
Are you in there somewhere
I hear you screaming HELP ME HELP ME
BUT no one dares to listen
Until she SNAPPED
Hey you yes you
Do you have any joyous moments?
Any days where you could just breathe?
Freedom she needs to break free
Bottled up inside nobody feels her pain
She screams as if into a sound proof room
No one comes to her rescue
Hello fear
Hello depression
I’m loosing myself
Apart of me has been lost
Idk if she’ll ever return until it’s too late
And she’s realized what she has done
All of those who refused to HELP HER HEAR HER CRIES this depression is seriously something that she just couldn’t beat
6 feet under dirt on top of a wooden box
Everyone sheds a tear of grief
**** all of your tears
When she needed you all most
No one dared to care
Now she’s gone
Now she’s at peace
Now she will be heard
Now your reading all the texts
“I’m not well I need help “
Help
Help
Help
Help
Help
Help
TIL
She said no more
And seeks out another way
BANG
BLOOD all over the floor
CUT
now draining into the tub
PILLS
NOW in system taking her into another universe land of the dead
She really is scared
Hello fear
I’m scared of what is to be
But deep down I’m ready to end all
There is of me
Nobody cares enough to listen
I’m exhausted
Mentally I’m drained
Emotionally I’m numb
Physically I’m just here
But no more
I MUST FIGHT THIS FIGHT
GOD HAS ALLOWED ME TO GET THIS FAR I SHALL NOT GIVE IN NOW
Hello fear
I’m tired I have nothing left to offer
This sickness has gotten the best of me

Depression if a loved one is depressed and is reaching out for help LISTEN please

#depression

MUFFY LOVE Dec 2018

Do you see me?

Do you see me honestly ?
Look into her eyes what do you see
Do you see a woman who's love runs deep
Do you see the hurt
Do you see her completely
Look into her eyes
What words come to mind ?
Her standing before you with all that she is
Beating heart in hand
Naked soul
Look into her eyes what do you see?
Do you see me honestly

MUFFY LOVE Dec 2018

As I ran away

As i ran away
not a tear came out
of my brown eyes
As i wasn't looking back
He shouted for me
All i could here is the winds in my ear
So much pain and devastation
As i ran away
Every heartache you caused
Seemed like a distant memory
Memories of which
I choose me
As i ran away
The shackles had broken
I was finally free of the pain
As i ran away
I saved myself i saved my children
I saved life from him
As i ran away
I lost everything
Yet gained EVERYTHING
I found me and thats
The best thing ever
As i ran away

As i ran away
not a tear came out
of my brown eyes
Freedom was all i saw
As i ran away

Leaving my narcissistic abuser

#toxicrelationship

MUFFY LOVE Dec 2018

BLIND MAN

All I see is your back n eyes closed as u sleep ... out of 24 hours
All I get is nothing no emotion no passion no nothing!
All I see is a eyelid
Blinded to what’s actually here
Eyes closed to the pain
Ears shutting out the whimpering of me crying
As I sit here at this hour all I asked
For was your time but it’s asking too much
Hell im exhausted beyond compare
24/7 365 On call as a parent no breaks
Yet still find the time to show you attention
But
Not the same effort is returned
It doesn’t take much yet it’s hard for you to do for me I guess
All I see is your back n eyes closed as u sleep ... out of 24 hours
All I get is nothing no emotion no passion no nothing!
No sincerity
No time
No outings
No hey baby
No nothing
My heart is heavy this sadness
I feel how could you have changed
I just don’t see it
Empty expression
Empty heart
Idk what to expect but I do know
This isn’t what I signed up for
Just so many reasons
It’s crazy we had this situation
A year ago
I AM SCREAMING CAN YOU HEAR ME
ACKNOWLEDGE ME
DO YOU SEE ME ?!
I am SHOUTING AS IF I AM SINGING MY FAVORITE ROCK SONG
HELLO DEAR DO YOU HEAR ME?!
As I sit here at this hour all I asked
For was your time but it’s asking too much
Hell im exhausted beyond compare
24/7 365 On call as a parent no breaks
Yet still find the time to show you attention
Guess I have to call and make an appointment
Can you schedule me in ?
Is anytime ok ?
I just want time but hey right
(Hold me please )
All I get is your cold shoulder
All I see is your eyes closed
(kiss my lips )
All Is silent
(Do you realize i exist?)

All I see is your back n eyes closed as u sleep ... out of 24 hours
All I get is nothing no emotion no passion no nothing!
All I see is a eyelid
Blinded to what’s actually here
Eyes closed to the pain
Ears shutting out the whimpering of me crying
As I sit here at this hour all I asked
For was your time but ..... blind man doesn’t see me

MUFFY LOVE Dec 2018

COULD YOU

by Muffy Love

Could you be my shoulder to cry on without me actually saying a word ? Could you be there when I have no one to turn to? Could you believe that I too get weak ? Could you hear in my voice my pain ?
Can you see the sadness in my eyes
The heartbreak the let downs the doubts
Is it possible for it to get better with time?
Some days I am on top of the world and others not so much .
Could I be depressed ?yea umm maybe so
Could I be overwhelmed? That’s possible
Could I be stressed? Hell yea
But I wake up every morning
I do all I need to for mine n self
By myself
No breaks in between
To ask for someone to just be there for me
Cause I’m there for everyone else
Could you be my shoulder to cry on without me actually saying a word ?

I’m MUFFY LOVE

— The End —