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Alexa Mar 2021
Where did her husband go?
No one but Don Lewis know
Did he really run away?
Or is this a case of foul play
The people speculate he got eaten by his wife's tigers
Or did she use the meat grinders?
I don't want to tell you too much and spoil
But they said something about sardine Oil.
Who killed Don?
That ***** Carole ******' Baskin
But since he's dead we can't ask him
~ A.S 16.04.20 ~
Alexa Mar 2021
Dear dad, I love you but I have to say this.
I go to trauma therapy to deal with the damage you gave me.
I really try to be good so you’ll be proud of me.
But that’s still not enough.
You don’t understand that everything I do is to make you proud of me. You don’t see or want to see that the pressure you put on me to get further holds me back from being the person I wanna be. All the fights, all the yelling, and the fear. All I’ve ever done is cope and hide the wounds you keep on ripping open.
To protect my brother, to protect my mom. To protect me.
From you
Dear dad, I love you but I stopped being your baby girl years ago
~ A.S 21.09.20 ~
Alexa Mar 2021
The only one who really stays is the demons in my head, they are the only company I have. (I'm back, missed me?)
They are the only one who understands me. (I see your pain)
I don't even try to shut them out anymore, they can scream all they want, I still don't care. (Just wait)
I've tried so hard, **** I’ve given it my all, all these years going round and round a carousel, I want to go off but there is no exit. I am always doing my very best but it's still not enough, I'm never enough, I can always do better. I can push it a little bit closer to the edge, just a little bit closer. I'm almost there,I can see it, I need success, not a failure, I fall. (You are a mistake, no one loves you, why don't you go and **** yourself huh?)
I wish I could stop and be normal but I can't and believe me I’ve tried, I’ve tried to not be Me. (I am a part of you and you can never escape me, fear me)
I've tried not to be too passionate about what I love doing (Three hours straight isn't a too long time, come one, you like doing this)
I try not to get lost in my own head (Oops, I accidentally have woken a memory you've fought so long to forget, enjoy)
I try to not let my feelings overflow (are you sad? let's make it a double)
I try to not hate you (I love you)
Because I really do love you (I hate you)
You are the worst human I've ever met and I never wanna see you again (Don't leave me)
I love you more than I love anything else (Don't touch me)
It's always like that, black or white, never grey (I see you)
There must be a serious problem with me but I don't know how to fix it (I know, death)
I’ve tried it all (Failure)
Pills (take them all)
Talking to someone (They think you're a burden)
Take a walk (Someone is behind you, better have a panic attack)
Clear your head (I will never leave)
Breathe in and count to ten (I am all you got)
But oh dear god, I'm drowning again (I will save you)
My demons stay but you don't. (I love you)
11 October 2019
Alexa Mar 2021
To my heart, you’ll always hold the key
A part of my soul is forever yours to keep
Just because we have to part, doesn’t mean this is a goodbye  
The mistakes we made, is no reason for you to cry
~ A.S 18.08.20 ~
Alexa Mar 2021
I am a woman, not a first-prize trophy, not a piece of meat or prey for you to catch.
I wasn’t born into this world for your satisfaction or your enjoyment. I will not be belittled, hushed, called sweetheart, or talked over.
I will not stand by and watch while my sisters get abused, *****, murdered, and thrown away like a piece of chewed-up chewing gum.
“Men get ***** too you know!” If that’s your first thought when I said that then you’re the problem here too.
“Men get abused too” if you say that only to minimize the issue women have with abuse then you’re both stupid and a coward.
They say her skirt was too short, she was too drunk, she was flirting, and never how he ***** her.
As if the amount of skin I show is the amount of infliction I deserve.
~ A.S 22.03.21 ~
Alexa Mar 2021
Because you didn’t just break my heart
You completely destroyed it
And every night I fall asleep with my pillows soaked
But I still count the hours until we can talk
Because a part of me still holds you dearly
~ A.S 06.10.20 ~
Alexa Mar 2021
My kisses always taste bittersweet
Bubblegum laced with amphetamines
My hands, are cold to the core and pale like snow
They leave a trail of broken hearts and suffering wherever I go
~ A.S 23.11.20 ~
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