Nathan Scott VanDoorne

Nathan Scott VanDoorne Nov 15

No longer twenty something
Wondering if the last half will be as hard as the first.

Thinking back on how you molded me to be the person that I am.

Consumed by thoughts that I might never make an impact

On someone in the way that you did for me.

You raised me up to be strong but not calloused

To be steerable but not to be manipulated.

I am torn to be here without you!

Some people have a Pa some have a Dad I had a Leader

Nathan Scott VanDoorne Nov 2023

Dad used to tell me

My Dad always gave me the best advice.
"Don't cry while laying down that is how you get an earache"
"Don't take your frustration out on other people, it's not their fault that you feel the way you do"
Dad everytime I look back I can tell that you truly cared for me, I miss you and your advice. You steered me in a way, I would like to think that you are proud of.

Nathan Scott VanDoorne Nov 2023

This thanksgiving

Was the first without you being here.
We set the table and pray.
We ate and we drank we talked about the things that we were grateful for.
But you not being here wasn't on my list. When I think of losing my Dad it makes me scared to lose my Mom.
What Thanksgiving is going to be like without the both of you. And it shreds my heart.

Nathan Scott VanDoorne Nov 2023

Learning to live without you

I used to look at complete families,
And not feel sad,
I seldomly thought about losing someone that I loved.
I seldomly thought about loving someone that I would lose.
I miss my Dad he used to tell me my father is in the sky but your Dad is right here.
Now my dad is in the sky with our father. And I hope and pray one day we can play cards and drink coffee together again.

Coping, mourning.

Nathan Scott VanDoorne Oct 2023

Thinking back

Maybe this is what I need
maybe this is what I wanted
I thought back about five years, "Maybe one day someone will love me the way that I loved you" from a earlier poem

Nathan Scott VanDoorne Oct 2023

I was so centered

Before I met her I was a stubborn person. I would burn bridges and forget about the people I left behind.
After meeting her, something changed my perspective. Maybe she put a spell on me,
Maybe she wanted me to love her just as much as I wanted her to love me.

Nathan Scott VanDoorne Oct 2023

A small piece

I found something out last night
I found that I shouldn't want you this much
I found a small piece of paper that opened my mind
I found out a piece of paper is all that it takes
Next time I see you I got a piece of paper for you.