our childhood ended
when they cut down our tree
our spiritful branches
with ice on their leaves

suicidal fantasy season
makes my heart tremble
and my hands unstable

when i am unwelcome i am
a corpse walking among
a world that i should no longer exist in

something expired and molded
my presence a stench
unable to decompose

let me talk to you
about the feeling of vulnerability
without ever opening up

I think our souls have touched
Though we haven't shared our names
But your words have moved me
And you've grown attached to mine
And we brought ourselves here
Because there's something underneath
That we both want to explore

one eyebrow painted on
and I remind myself
you either take the man's money
or take yourself to the bridge

this is how it feels
when you're down
and your chest has been binded for so long
and you're far away from everyone you've ever known

and you know you need it
or you know you need something
safe to bring you harm
safe for your destruction

when we meet for the first time,
my body on your mind and your gun on mine,
deconstruct me

I'm feeling that old theatrical feeling
Where I become a creature in facepaint
A shadow taken form in gowns and robes
and I myself am the echo of footsteps on the stage
I feel that aching feeling
of looking into your eyes and feeling horrible things
like my desires to love and keep you and take you with me
into a place where it is always night
and we live inside the walls and watch the curtains from the side
and we come to life and circle the ghost light
I cannot have you
but we will always be the same
and I will always feel your name
forming at my lips
when I kiss these walls goodnight

I've learned a new language
And all you can think of
Is my love for Leslie Cheung
As if it isn't magnificent
A wonderful thing
To have love and also to learn