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winter May 2021
Virginia, I'm feeling you tonight
Like you're waiting outside my window
Arms outreached with Jacques Rigaut
Elliot I hear you mumbling around
Why now, when you've been quiet for so long?
Cradle me with dreams of California
Under those Teasdale Stars
Drown me like you did to River
I cant take the Mayakovsky life
It's like you're whispering, Brandis
But i hear you,
Your presence moves me
Closer to something
That I'm too scared to see
And yet
You won't stop coming for me
Until the end. This,
I know
winter May 2021
Winter finds
the tops of mountains
Short of breath from the climb
Crystals shaped like snowflakes fall
On their cheeks, stung by the sun.
They wear long clothing with
Buttons that match: a uniform
Symbol that, though small, reflects
Defining strength and aptitude
And keeps them standing tall.
But when they climb back down
The home they return to
Is distant and virtuous and small.
A familiar pen writes papers and poems
To fill up the shelves of a well-crafted den.
It’s a habit more than a hobby, by now
They’ll have published at least one or two, by then.
On weekdays they travel to libraries and schools
Read books to children and sing.
When afternoon comes, they’ll be fighting for justice
With knowledge, compassion, and persevered dreams.
Winter is seen taking walks in the spring that can last up to 10 hours long
With friends, old and new, who walk right alongside- the journey, though tiresome, is strong.
They’ve grown a few inches, in shoes or in heel, and their childhood fears have finally nulled
Traveling far away, small spiders and mirrors, these terrors now trivial, lackluster, and dull.
Winter is a season that she once felt was impossible to feel like herself in, she’d say.
But now they have conquered the long blist’ring winds, and Teasdale’s Stars, and Woolf’s Dalloway.
They keep moving forward, inspired and stilled, by the pleas of a kid who once called out their name
In hopes of an answer, running up that hill, fiercely demands of them: Requiem for: identities lost and spirits regained.
winter May 2021
"this is a lonely experience"
I say when
I study blades of grass or cracks in the walls
When I'm so angry that I cry or when
I truly feel like dying
I repeat that to myself when
I'm reading untouched books
Or feeling affectionate for my friends
Far moreso, I think, than they would reciprocate
Love outpoors from me and I feel so alone
It is lonely to love

But I've halted those words
With a change of heart
Realizing I was never alone
Future or past, there are people out there
At least, so I hope, who feel the same things as I
They might mark my words, or perhaps never know, but wonder the same
Was there ever someone like me
Someone whose words are untouched
I wish i could reach through time and tell them
The experience isn't lonely

This is a human experience
winter May 2021
i think i'm starting to overcome it
I can love life, accept death, and believe
there's nothing after
all at once
winter May 2021
days haven't been good but I'm
still committed to growing
face to face with people
who believe that pain is necessary
to make means more efficient
who dismantle their own hurt,
thinking life is just a game
but i'm committed to keep going
make amends through it all
even when i feel put down
or so angry i start crying
i'm just trying
to prove them wrong
their exists hope
and kindness and love
for the simple act of being
and i'm being patient for you
if I can endure this world
I can endure you, too
winter May 2021
Child searches for truth in the eyes of
Others and finds nothing until the eyes
Of music
The brain is humanity's most powerful
Weapon and yet here we are
I want to say goodbye and be nothing.
I want to die. I want to see the stars.
I want the universe and future. I want to exist
I want to be free from this hell
winter Apr 2021
A letter to the president
We’re begging you
To see us in the attic on our knees
Thrifted stationary on the floor and
The scribing of our pleas
Hear us when we speak, we are young
And all too aware of our dreams
Our lives in front of microscopes
Analyzing our hopes
Dear god, let us breath
There’s no crime in our dreams
Now they’re far across the world and I write all the same
I remember hope when I remember your name
Dear president,
The ocean’s long gone
And the reefs have all fled
And the humans learn to starve and
Home has gone to ****
With nothing left for the children
Whose lungs are black from the air they dreamed of protecting
You’ve exterminated devotion
To the selfless cause
O President
Did you feel betrayed
When you learned for the first time
What this world was truly like
Do you seek revenge for your hurt
Do you seek control
And, in spite of the trauma,
Can you remember
Your love for this world.
I had a childhood memory of when a friend and I wrote a letter to the president, asking him to save the dolphins. I felt sentimental, remembering our innocence and our ignorance.
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